IUMA - Laughably sad

[Newc]

Ok, a few years ago (like 4 years ago) when I had a band, I signed up for IUMA to promote the band and get the word out yadda yadda.
The band broke up like a year later, and I'm still getting shit like this in the mail:

[ QUOTE ]

This is a message for Autumn Frost from mick <[email protected]>

I was recently on iuma.com and saw your artist page. I had an opportunity to hear some of your music and think that you should definitely be apart of our website, URBANMELODIES.COM. This site caters to the independent urban music artist by giving them a way to distribute and sell their music around the world. We focus on six genres: rap/hip hop, r&b, gospel, jazz/blues, spoken word and reggae. Since you are working to sell your CD, let us assist you in your success. Our site is currently being promoted around the world and we are marketing to individuals who are interested in purchasing independent urban music.

For more details on joining, please visit our website at http://www.urbanmelodies.com and click on the "Sell Your CD" link. As you will see, it is a very simple process but VERY beneficial to you.

Feel free to contact me directly if you have any questions or need assistance with signing up. I can be reached at [email protected].

Thanks.

Mick
UrbanMelodies.com


[/ QUOTE ]

Puhleeez, don't waste my damn time [img]/images/graemlins/eyes.gif[/img]
We were the farthest thing from "Urban Melodies" [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
They specialize in rap and hiphop and r&b, we specialized in hard rock. Nice of 'em to be honest about listening to the songs [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Ace]

Re: IUMA - Laughably sad

Maybe they heard something in your music that you don't hear personally. Like a drum loop.

[mhalsey]

Re: IUMA - Laughably sad

C'mon Newc, admit it. You'll feel better. Underground gospel, right? [img]/images/graemlins/poke.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[nor]

G H E T T O____N E W C E N S T E I N

"Ghetto Newcenstein - Phat, Phresh, and Phunky"

Compton, CA : For Immediate Release

The debut from Ghetto Newcenstein, Phat, Phresh, and Phunky, is a breath of fresh air in a rather stale Urban Melody market. From the opening Beat-Box Bebop to the tour-de-force of Suburban Badazz, the boys of Ghetto Newcenstein do not disappoint.

Ghetto Newcenstein iz...
Doc Newcenstein: Lead Mouth, aimless improv
DJ ACE: Loops, loops, and mo loops!
M. Halsey Doit: Pointless Stage Prowler

[nor]

Re: G H E T T O____N E W C E N S T E I N

M HALSEY DOIT ---------------------- DOC ---------------------- ACE

M HALSEY DOIT ---------------------- DOC ---------------------- ACE

[pro-fusion]

Re: G H E T T O____N E W C E N S T E I N

[img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Newc]

Re: G H E T T O____N E W C E N S T E I N

[img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Not a chance in Hell, buddy [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[nor]

Re: G H E T T O____N E W C E N S T E I N

Opportunity is knockin!
You could be big. Real big. And after Ace explodes following your third gig, you'll have a lifetime of $75 a night lounge gigs to look forward to.

I'll manage ya. We just gotta get the others on board. Mark will be easy, he'll do anything for $1.50 and free baggy-azz pants. Getting Ace to trade his SG for a rhythm-box might be tricky...we'll tempt him with some plastic bling-bling...

lol...

[nor]

Re: G H E T T O____N E W C E N S T E I N

Newc,

Just got off the phone with Chief Sit-And-Stare. There's a good chance I can get Ghetto Newcenstein a slot opening for some Moody Blues impersonators on the Indian Casino circut!!
[img]/images/graemlins/band.gif[/img]

The only catch - ya gotta cover "Your Havin My Baby" by Neil Diamond once a set. Those crazy Indians are nutz fo dat shizzle, dig?

[VulfgangPfuck]

Re: G H E T T O____N E W C E N S T E I N

That's ok Newc...I still get the "Monument Records" offer from UnsignedMP3.com

DiabloMozart as well as a few others here, can back me up on this.
Apparently they're having a new round of record deal offerings from yet another postal ex-employee!

[Newc]

Monument Records, eh?

Is that the place in Chicago? Or was that Mountain Records?
Anyhoo one of those dicks called me years ago (when I had the same band together the first time back in 92) and said it was "urgent" that I call them.

So I call the number they left and asked for whoever the message said to ask for, and I get the receptionist, and she asks what it's concerning.
Me: "Uh, I just got a message from him like yesterday saying to call him at this number and this company. He said it was "urgent" that I call him ASAP"
Her: "Hold on one moment".....pause...listen to the infomercial about the acts they have..."He's no longer with the company"
Me: "Do what?"
Her: "Mr (whatever his name was) is no longer affiliated with Monument (Mountain?) Records. This was a clerical error"
Me: "Clerical error? Can you explain how that's possible?"
Her: "Have a nice day, and sorry for the inconvenience - click!"

[img]/images/graemlins/brow.gif[/img]

Ok, what makes this WHOLE thing so bizarre is that we had only put out maybe 5 copies of one tape which we recorded at home (live to 2 tracks, I might add) and I duplicated myself (because I was the only one with a dual-well tape deck), AND drew the covers myself and wrote my name and address as the contact.

Later I find out that the singer had given his copy of the tape to a truck driving friend of his that made regular runs up to Chicago and claimed he "knew people". Said friend was never seen again AFAIK.

The only thing I can figure was that the guy actually did know somebody, and they were calling to either sign us up or wanted to use our songs, but then they generated the "clerical error" smoke cloud for one reason or another.

I did later call them back and left a message on their machine mentioning the songs on that tape were copywritten and may not be used by any of their artists *period* without contacting me first, just in case they were trying to steal our stuff.
I still keep an ear out for one of those songs. Soon as I hear it, I'm rich, cuz I've still got the "poor man's copyright" (mailed sealed stamped envelope of the master tape).
[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]