help

[GodOfRhythm]

Re: help

I've been there and done that. Talking to you as an equal, don't get tied up in relationships yet. I'm a college man, and I've given up on longterm relationships, I just chase as much snuff as possible and try to have as much fun as possible.

You have an abundance of time to meet another significant other, and she WILL come along. So don't worry and start doing something productive: play the guitar!

[Number Of The Priest]

Re: help

[ QUOTE ]
try to have as much fun as possible.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's also a very important attitude. If you go out with friends to a bar or club or somewhere that is generally crawling with ridiculously gorgeous women, you must "reframe" again so that you're not in the mindset of expectations. What I am trying to say is to change your attitude so that you're there to HAVE FUN rather than have obligations (like trying to score, or trying to get as many phone numbers as possible) which put pressure on you. THINK AND BELIEVE that hot women as being common and dispensible rather than a rare chance, otherwise again it will put pressure on you. Adopt the attitude of "I'm there to have some fun tonight and hopefully I can make her smile/laugh too, and if she gives me her number or wants to move to the next level already, then that's kinda cool, but no big loss at all if that stuff doesn't happen because I'm there to ENJOY MYSELF!"

VERY powerful reframing of mind and attitude. Alpha male!

Go read that pickup lines thread in the Non J/C section of the forum. Find the topic where Shredmonster posts a link to a webpage. I'm reading that webpage right now as extra study material. So far, it has the right attitude. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[sworn_enemy]

Re: help

[ QUOTE ]
You MUST do the following:

Burn the notes you have from her, or find somewhere to put them where you can't get at them easily.

Do NOT call her. The more you hear her voice, the more you will miss her. The more you call her, the less likely she is to want to talk to you. You will probably end up sounding like a whiny pussy on the phone, and you don't want that. You might even cry like a baby and beg her to take you back.

Absorb yourself in something. Focus on productive things. You will surprised how easy it is to be motivated when you are in pain. Work out & get ripped. Play guitar A LOT. Do NOT sit around and feel sorry for yourself. Keep busy.

You do sound gay, but we have all been there. Now stop being a pussy, and become a madman. You are better than this!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the best advice you could ever hope to get. Listen to this man.

[atomic charvel guy]

Re: help

don't burn anything that she wrote to you, years from now it could bring a smile to your face. it's really simple, don't be a douche, be her friend, and attack as much box as possible. she may even come running back. a broken heart sucks, but freedom is fukkin' hot stuff and there's a ton of girls out there. and it's summer any day now. perfect!!!!

[Badseed]

Re: help

Turn all the negative feelings into positive energy.It sounds hard ,but like alot of guys said, go work out, play guitar, absorb yourself in work. Dont call her, let her call you.When she does, tell all the cool things youve been doing with your time.Act as if it doesnt bother you that your apart.Nothing drives ex's crazier then knowing your doing fine without them.BELIEVE ME, i love it when i hear life is cirlcing the toilet bowl for my ex-wife [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]. maybe tht was out of line [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Tell ya what, if ya got a giant Rod, move to cali and become a porn star.One night she'll be with someone using the tape to get the party started, and there you'll be stoinkin hot chicks while she watches in horror. : [img]/images/graemlins/headbang.gif[/img]

I duno, worked for me

[Badseed]

Re: help

ALSO, listen to the atomic nut craker, he may be crazy as glue, but when it comes to relationship advice, he rules.I wouldnt be where i am today without his and chucks help, no lie. Go out and be the best you that you can be. If it doesnt turn her around, like tommy said, there will be other box that finds that attitude irresistable!

[atomic charvel guy]

Re: help

that flick i was in right davey boy?
hoss'barn hussies part 7

[Badseed]

Re: help

Thats the one buddy, im still in therapy for seeing that one, thanks.lol.

[atomic charvel guy]

Re: help

great footage though, hoss is pretty handy with that camcorder.

[sully]

Re: help

and don't forget mike damone's five point plan, which can be viewed here:

http://www.netwalk.com/~truegger/ftrh/five-point.html

[Shawn Lutz]

Re: help

Forget about her. Sounds harsh but thats what works. Yes, it sucks now but it gets better in time. I would not call her or read her letters until you get over her. Find something constructive to occupy your time, work out, go fishing, play guitar, write some silly love song or something. Look at it this way, you now will be able to ride more than one bike [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] Both of you are too young to be in a long term relationship. There is way too much more to experience apart than together.

[sully]

Re: help

[ QUOTE ]
that flick i was in right davey boy?
hoss'barn hussies part 7

[/ QUOTE ]

"when you stole that cow?
and your friend tried to make it with the cow?

....i wanna party with you, cowboy."

[atomic charvel guy]

Re: help

your momma's alright, your daddy's alright, they just seem a little bit weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerd, surrender-lol

[MBreinin]

Re: help

Well, I have been through this stuff before myself. Hell, I caught a fiance' getting boned on my bathroom sink one night. Best plan of attack is to initiate a clean break, period. Give yourself a little time to recover from it and do not get wasted. As much as it seems to help initially, booze is a depressant and you will feel worse about it as a result, hell...you will probably drunk dial her ass. After a short period of time when you have come to grips with it, start going out and meet some new people. It is amazing what a little attention can do for your self-esteem.

When my ex-wife left me I felt like the world would crumble. Even though I knew we had a SHIT marriage, it was comfort...and I have two kids. I was really in the crapper....drinking like a monster, along with other non-sanctioned pharmaceuticals....Then, I was out for Cinco De Mayo..this must have been 4 years ago and maybe 3-4 months after our seperation. I was having a great time with some friends, and this cute young girl (couldn't have been past 19-20) asked me to dance. It wasn't a setup, it just happened. At that point I had an Epiphany..I realized that I did not need the aggravation of being with someone that wasn't right for me..and that life would go on. It did, I found somebody perfect for me, and I couldn't be happier.

Mike

[thetroy]

Re: help

John,

I went through the exact same situation 2 months ago. The first girl that I ever really cared about dumped me for no particular reason. We were (are?) obviously still very much in love with each other and had all sorts of plans (I was going to transfer to her college, had already did the paperwork and everything, then we were going to do a foreign study program together and spend a summer in Europe, etc). No idea what she was/is thinking or what went wrong. She still wants to be friends to make herself feel better about it, and I went along with it for awhile. I'm not over her by any stretch of the imagination, but I have stopped calling her and packed away our letters and stuff. I'm going to call her once on her birthday next week, and that will probably be the last time we'll talk for several months (if not forever).

I don't want it to be like this, but there's no other way to do it. I tried everything I could to get her back and she wasn't willing to try it so I have to try and move on.

I'd like to say it gets easier, but so far it has not. I have to spend every extra minute playing guitar or I get really miserable. This way I'm still miserable but I don't have time to think about or acknowledge it. That's about all I can tell you.

(For reference I'm a 19 year old Physics major at MIT, so it even happens to very "smart" and "successful" individuals)