What's wrong with older kids nowadays?

[Ace]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

The Kids Are Alright

[Endrik]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

[ QUOTE ]
The Kids Are Alright

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yeah, MTV should show that vid not some "ghetto is da shit" thing.

[Bert]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

On one street which I drive down to get to my house I regularly see a pack of 5-15 kids from like 3 to early teenage years that play various games in the middle of the road. No parents are ever around watching these punks, and the street is right inbetween two blind turns. Instead of respectfullly getting out of the way for traffic, they give the drivers dirty looks and hesitantly drag their feet, just enough to barely allow a waiting car to get by. I've politely suggested in the past that they get the f*** out of the way for traffic to keep the kids out of danger, but they just respond with lip.

I've nothing against kids playing sports in the street, I did it myself when I was young all the time. However I always respecfully made plenty of room for passing traffic, without copping any attitude. I seriously wish I could slap the f*** out of these punks, but maybe it's best saved for their absent parents, should they ever show up. Occasionally I'll deal them a well timed blow of the horn to scare the piss out of them, and occasionally some choice words, but other than that, what can you do?

[SeventhSon]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

Happens with rich kids too. I was in Central Park in NYC with my kids and a young teenage girl who looked well heeled was throwing sand around and getting it my kids' eyes. So I asked her to stop and she starts giving me some serious fukking shit. I had to clench my fists, grit my teeth, and walk away. Had I had thought of it I would have gladly paid another teenage kid $50 to kick her ass.

[Endrik]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

kids are soo adorable, they don't know how to treat people right, they don't know that they should respect other people, they don't know nothing wich is good, but they know that they can always call for cops if somone starts bithcing with them.

[Reverend Timmy]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

Mine knows how to act.She was raised to treat others respectfully,she chooses not to.She does well in school and tries to use that as leverage.I don't care if you are a honor roll student.I'll take a C average decent person over the monster bully she has become........................

[SeventhSon]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

Reverend Timmy, you should check out this author, Jerry Wyckoff, Ph.D. My wife and I went to a seminar and bought some of his books and they have helped immensely. The ones I read are geared towards younger kids, but he may have some books that help you with older kids as well. He's the author of:

Discipline without Shouting or Spanking
How to Discipline your Six to Twelve Year Old,
20 Teachable Virtues

The basic philosophy is that you should teach your kids that there are either positive or negative consequences to one's behavior. Along the lines of "you can do this (behave correctly) and get this (allowance + normal privileges), or you can do this (behave badly, sass) and get that (privileges taken away until extra punishment jobs are done)". Don't be afraid of taking away their privileges which they assume to be their birthright.

I'm being simplistic as I am not the author nor a Ph.D, and who knows? I may think these books are crap when my kid turns 18 and is driving me insane. But in general his books come highly regarded and parents rave about him. Good luck.

[LesPaulCustom]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

Funny how this thread popped up after I had a long talk with Tia last night. Most of you already know she lives 8 hours away with my aunt, but that is no excuse for what went on. Seems she has had many words with 2 other teenage girls at school last week (thank GOD school is out for the summer now). Seems that Miss Tia has been strutting around the locker room acting like her shit dont stink because, well, I hate to add to it, but she is very attractive, and doesnt look her age. They had been calling her a "slutbagwhore". I told Tia the best thing she can do is avoid the other girls, just turn around, flip her hair, and continue walking, not giving the slightest notion that they bothered her in the least. But, does she take that advice?? Noooooooooooooooooo...she has to handle this on her own, the way she sees fit, and begins to slam one of the girls mothers (who is a lesbian). I told Tia that was no way to act, and asked how she would feel if the tables were turned. Then she tells me that they were talking shit about me....how I got involved in all of it I have no idea, but the story was, I turned my back on Tia and left her, and that I didnt give two shits about what she did or what happened to her, and that I left town because I was the "town slut"(slut but be the word of the week or something). Just the fact that the 2 girls had to rub it in Tias face that Im not there, like she doesnt realize that, just flew all over me. I know this wasnt the correct way to handle things, but being so far away, it was basically the only way I could have a voice towards the other girls. Tia was on yahoo, and that was where I was talking to her, and she copy and pasted the conversations to me. By that time I was seeing red, and sent the girls a message basically explaining the situation, and flat out told them the reason she still lives there is 1) the way she looks, I definitely dont want her in a military town like this and 2) would it be fair to her to uproot her from her family, take her from everything she knows and make her live where the government decides we need to live?? Maybe I am too soft when it comes to her, and maybe I made the biggest mistake (okay I know it was the biggest mistake) by allowing her and her sister to stay behind, but at the time I thought it was the best thing for them. I never thought Tia would be having problems with other girls that she once considered her best friends and would stay on the phone with for hours on end, I guess Ive forgotten how it is to be in high school and how the rumors spread like wildfire and your best friends can stab you in the back at the drop of a hat, and within hours be best friends again....personally, I think we all should be born small adults, then nobody has to deal with the bullshit of growing up.

Mrs LPC

[Spaceace]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

Al I am sorry you had a rough day man and I know you are a good man and handled the situation as tactfully as possible.As a parent the first advice I got was from my mom and I have heard it a million times "kids will test their limits and push as far as they can get away with".Now I know authorities and judges are there to protect kids and I applaud that.However as with all government a good idea is taken and blown into a giant mess and abusive power is inevitable.Parents(some of whom are useless) are taken out of the equation and once kids realize that their parents are powerless it is all downhill.I have been very fortunate that my son who is now 16 ....and driving(god give me strength [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img])has grown up healthy and respectful and genuinely makes me very proud of what a good person he is growing into.Now while I take some of the credit for this I also realize how fortunate I am that we have never hit the court system....because as I said for all the good they do they can really muck things up.Once a kid watches a judge tell you that you are powerless to change a situation...YOU ARE.When I was younger I raised a little hell(as I am sure most of us did)But there was always a line I knew not to cross,because if a neighbor went to my house and said I had disrespected them I knew I was in deep trouble.My mom never rode me to hard on grades as long as I tried my best ,but she was a stickler for being an honest respectful person who would help out when they could.She used to say "Just be someone you would be proud to know"
As has been said a bunch of times above the first fault or credit lies with the parents.

[Newc]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

I disagree with the idea of "do the right thing and get some sort of physical rewards (money, etc)". Doing the "right thing" should not be considered a job or a task for which you receive payment in some form or another, but rather it should be taught as a way of life, and the rewards are intangible, as they only show up as character, integrity, and value to society.
Freedom of Choice is one thing - you can let a child choose between doing and being good vs doing and being bad - but teaching them the importance of being and doing good BECAUSE it is "the right thing to do" is better than giving them the impression of gaining some sort of instant reward for doing what is expected of them.

As working adults, we learn pretty quickly that an employer will pay you to do what they tell you to do. It's easy to pass that simplistic ideal onto our children, but while no one in their right mind would work on an oil rig or dig ditches or sell products just for the exercise and getting out of the house, I feel it is wrong to pay a child to do what is expected of them. An allowance in return for household chores is one thing, but there are many more things that they have to do for those benefits that are not immediatly visible - such as schoolwork - or else they'll quickly develop the idea of going through life with their hand out looking for a cookie just because they wiped their ass properly.

You train a dog to be obedient and loyal by giving him a treat and showering him with affection when he does good.
You can seriously fuck up a child's development if you treat him the same way, because he'll develop the same idea the dog has - I did good, where's my cookie?.

As for Tia and her "friends"; statistically speaking, females have less of an ability to keep their mouth shut in any given situation, as they are almost always looking for an opportunity to come out on top of someone else, be it having the last word in a conversation, the biggest shopping score, the most expensive this or that among their peers, and so on and so forth.
Many women complain about their men playing "keeping up with the Joneses" - Tom got a new riding mower, Dick got a new riding mower, Harry wants a new riding mower even though the one he got last year cuts the grass just as good as it did last year - but I've seen women play that game to extremes that men never thought possible.

Competition between females is damn scary at least, and at its most brutal would scare the shit out of Lucifer himself [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
What Tia needs to learn is that no matter what anyone says or thinks about her or her family, as long as she knows the truth, no one else's opinion matters.

I'm sure we've all had our share of schoolyard brawls because "he said something about my Momma" - I know I've had plenty - but then one day it hit me that these insults these kids are slinging are laughably ridiculous, and I laughed at each one because they were actually funny, and not insulting. A friend of mine asked why I was laughing about the things this other guy was saying about my Mother, and I told him: "because it's funny". That's when it really hit me that this asshole didn't know jack shit about my Mother, and that if he did, he'd say the same thing about her that all my friends did - that she was pretty and that she was really really nice. I knew my Mother better than these morons did - that she wasn't a whore, etc etc - so why let what they're saying bother me, when I know the truth?
They did figure out pretty quick that they couldn't get to me that way anymore, and left me alone.

However, I know that Tia feels she has to protect her reputation since these girls are calling her a "slutbagwhore", but there's four things that are important for her to remember:
#1 - She knows the truth, her real friends know the truth, and her family knows the truth. Fuck everyone else and their opinions. If she really wants to piss them off, have her say "You know, since YOU don't matter, what makes you think your opinion matters?"
#2 - She'll drive herself crazy trying to chase behind these idiots clearing up her reputation. They're dragging her name through the mud and she's trying to clean it up, but the mud's been slung. Wash it as it comes back to you, don't chase after it.
#3 - Pretty girls will forever be assumed to be sluts. It's the American Way. From Marylin Monroe to Lindsay Lohan, hot chicks are whores. At least that's the general consensus. "Look! A hot babe in a Ferarri! Bet she sucked a lot of cxxks to get that!"
Confess - who here has said that more than once?
Me too.
#4 - See #1.

Rev - That 17 year old drama queen needs a good stern talking to. Sit her in a chair and ask her point blank what her problem is, and rudely interrupt her when she starts with the drama to keep her focused. Eventually she'll cough up the fact that she's an attention whore. The first step to overcoming the problem is admitting the problem, so then you can reassure her that she's not the Be All, End All she thinks she is; that her shit does indeed stink like everyone else's; that she's nowhere near mature enough to have an attitude of any kind; and that you are not going to take any more of her shit and she better start acting like an adult if she expects to be treated like an adult. Buy her a bag of diapers and tell her if she wants to be treated like a baby, you're ready for it. Tell her she has an Ego Problem, and her ego must be put away before it gets broken. If she doesn't put it away, break it.

And that bitch judge needs to be beat to death with an iron dildo [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[kmanick]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

good god this thread is scary to read. M daughter just turned 3. What a long f'n road that lies ahead of me.
she is into Tai Kwan Do in the fall, I want her to learn respect for others and to be able to take care of herself.
As far as the blame goes for what's going on with kids today.
Hmmmmmmmmm? JERRY SPRINGER. RIKKIE LAKE, MONTEL, JENNY JONES.
when TV started getting the message across to kids that it's cool to act like white trash (or Ghetto) trash and you can get away with it , this countries next generation went down the shitter.
I grew up in a very affluent town in Ma (Newton), one of the poorer kids in town I may add, but my mom still lives in the house I grew up in so I am in Newton quite a bit, and the way the kids act in High school is atrocious. Like little animals, that do not have to own up to their actions. when did society teach kids that everyone owes them something?
It's disgusting. I have friends that have teenage girls and the stories they tell me are horrific. The girls all act like what you'd see an a Jerry Springer episode, and these are well to do girls......... [img]/images/graemlins/sick.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/sick.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/sick.gif[/img]

[Dolan]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

Spaceace hit another nail on the head.........

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Parents(some of whom are useless) are taken out of the equation and once kids realize that their parents are powerless it is all downhill.

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[the_drip]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

a 3 year old martial artist? holy shit.

now now, we all know you hope to raise the next Bruce Lee movie star! haha


And now, this thread is starting to look like just a bunch of old guys complaining. "These kids these days got it so nice....back in the day we respected are elders. We walked to school 5 miles every day up hills both ways! When I was your age."

Every generation does this. Its funny. Every new generation is somehow worse than the one before it. (according to their predecesors(sp?) Don't worry...they'll grow up. Sooner or later.

[StukaJU87]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

Drip, you don't see a general lack of respect for elders and authority figures with todays teenagers? There are exceptions to the rules in all generations. Nowadays, being an asshole seems the rule and NOT the exception.

[SeventhSon]

Re: What\'s wrong with older kids nowadays?

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I disagree with the idea of "do the right thing and get some sort of physical rewards (money, etc)". Doing the "right thing" should not be considered a job or a task for which you receive payment in some form or another, but rather it should be taught as a way of life, and the rewards are intangible, as they only show up as character, integrity, and value to society....


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Newc, did you see when I said I was being simplistic in my summary? [img]/images/graemlins/poke.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] Please check out the source as I am obviously not doing him justice. The dude is a Ph.D. (fwiw), but he's also highly regarded among his peers and parents. Let me attempt to refine my original statement: it's about *reinforcement* of core values. Yes, the end goal is that doing good in and of itself is its own rewards...that manifests itself in values that we all want our kids to have.

Our kids have their own set chores, and they get an allowance for that. They also get to work towards something special. If they do extra chores, etc., they get points put into a jar. If they choose to misbehave, we set them down and say, "you can choose to misbehave, but then I will have to take points away from your jar". When the jar has a certain amount of points, they get whatever they were working for. In a simplistic way we are *reinforcing* that behavior (good or bad) has consequences. The end *goal* is to have them understand the true meaning.

If you think a 2 year old child that is having a tantrum regarding watching the Teletubbies can be reasoned with in regards to the intangible benefits of doing good BECAUSE it is "the right thing to do", you are smoking something REALLY good and, when you get the chance, please pass it on to me. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Nick, you got a 3 year old. Buy the book used for $5 and check it out...see what you think...