Mustard

[Jack The Riffer]

> As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick
>
> slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and
>
> plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.
>
> The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I
>
> carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it
>
> up with both hands but was stopped by my wife
>
> suddenly at my side.

> "Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while
>
> I get my sandwich," she said. I had him balanced
>
> between my left elbow and shoulder and
>
> was reaching again for the ham sandwich
>
> when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

> I love mustard.

> I had no napkin.
>
> I licked it off.
>
> It was not mustard.
>
> No man ever put a baby down faster.
>
> It was the first and only time I have sprinted
>
> with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in
>
> each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine
>
> boys do; only I did it on my tongue.
>
>
>
> Later, after she stopped crying from laughing
>
> so hard, my wife said, "Now you know why
>
> they call that fancy mustard . .
>
>
>
> "Poupon."

[MBreinin]

Re: Mustard

Ahhhhhh....nasty.

I love Mustard too....but I never licked my fingers after holding my kids!!! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Mike

[atomic charvel guy]

Re: Mustard

jack,
my fukkin' deepest condolences, that is so grisly i can't take it.

[sevser]

Re: Mustard

Oh I feel for ya Bro but, that was awesome! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
You made my day! [img]/images/graemlins/notworthy.gif[/img]

[atomic charvel guy]

Re: Mustard

got your dose of "musturd" did ya

[Jack The Riffer]

Re: Mustard

Wasn't actually me in that story, but I do have a gross story about my uncle, his son and puke. I'll tell ya some other time.

[Inearthed]

Re: Mustard

"Mustard hates me." - Uttered at IHOP at 3:30 am by me in response to "But mustard likes you" which was in response to "I can't stand mustard."

[Emthrax]

Re: Mustard

[ QUOTE ]
Wasn't actually me in that story, but I do have a gross story about my uncle, his son and puke. I'll tell ya some other time.

[/ QUOTE ]

My daughter puked in her grandpapa's dress shirt pocket when she was a baby. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] It was hella funny!!! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
He took it in stride, having 6 kids of his own.
And NO I was not giving her rum for teething. [img]/images/graemlins/eyes.gif[/img]

[Jack The Riffer]

Re: Mustard

My cousin was a few months old and had just eaten. My uncle was playing with him on the bed, my uncle was on his back and he was holding my cousin above him. He would hold my cousin all the way up and then slowly and bouncingly bring my cousin all the way down to his face while making baby noises. Well, at one point the inevitable happened, as my uncle opened his mouth to make some noises, my cousin puked right in it.

[donf]

Re: Mustard

Aw................man, I just woke up. That's horrible.

Here's a couple more, mostly dealing with oatmeal [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

http://www.m90.org/view_image.php?image_id=2537