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  • Mid week joke

    A woman starts dating a married doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection.
    The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle." "Do you think it will work?" she asks the doctor.
    "It's worth a try," he says. So the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this." "What?" says the priest. "What happened?" "You gave birth to a child." "But that's impossible!" "I just did the operation," insists the doctor. "It's a
    miracle! Here's your baby." About fifteen years go by, and the priest realizes that he must tell his son the truth. One day he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father."
    The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies, "I'm your mother. The archbishop is your father."

  • #2
    Re: Mid week joke

    [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] That was funny!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Mid week joke

      A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

      * a half-gallon of 2% milk,
      * a carton of eggs,
      * a quart of orange juice,
      * a head of romaine lettuce,
      * a 2 lb. can of coffee,
      * and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

      As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
      drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the
      cashier.

      While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly
      stated,
      "You must be single."

      The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was
      intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

      She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
      unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her
      marital status.

      Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what,
      you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

      The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
      "There is nothing more fearful than imagination without taste" - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

      "To be stupid, selfish and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost" - Gustave Flaubert

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Mid week joke

        Endrik that is one of my favs but I like the phrase

        "cuz yer uglier than shit" and I always picture it uttered by the homeless drunk in Back To The Future
        I keep the bible in a pool of blood
        So that none of its lies can affect me

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Mid week joke

          Though for a day;

          Some people are like Slinkies...
          They're really good for nothing,
          but they still bring a smile to your face
          when you push them down a flight of stairs. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
          Occupation: Department Director for the Department of Redundancy Department

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Mid week joke

            That was weak all right [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]
            "Quiet, numbskulls, I'm broadcasting!" -Moe Howard, "Micro-Phonies" (1945)

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Mid week joke

              What do a walrus and a pressure cooker have in common?

              ......




              .......










              Answer: They are both looking for a tight seal [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
              "I hate these filthy neutrals! With enemies, you know where they stand. But with neutrals... who knows? It sickens me!"

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Mid week joke

                this dude is fuckin' this fat bitch on the beach...and he's goin' at it ..and goin' at it...but he don't feel shit!!

                so he asks...is it in??

                she replies...No, it's in the mud...

                he says ...well put it in!!!

                she does...

                So , He's goin' at it ...and goin' at it...and goin'..n' goin'..

                again he asks....is it in???!!!

                she shouts ....YES!!!

                He says....well put it back in the mud!!!!!!!


                [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
                "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Mid week joke

                  [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Mid week joke

                    [ QUOTE ]
                    Thought for a day;

                    Some people are like Slinkies...
                    They're really good for nothing,
                    but they still bring a smile to your face
                    when you push them down a flight of stairs.



                    [/ QUOTE ]
                    I've been using that as my sig for 6 months! [img]/images/graemlins/poke.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

                    I'm so limited on the number of letters I can use for the sig, I had to alter it a little...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Mid week joke

                      "but they still bring a smile to your face
                      when you push them down a flight of stairs."

                      boy do I know that!! I had many happy customers of mine.."just trip" when I was bringing them in...nice people ..like child molesters and shit.. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
                      "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                      Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                      "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

                      Comment

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