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For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
for those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
for those who have children this age, this is NOT funny.
for those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning
for those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
THE FOLLOWING CAME FROM AN ANONYMOUS MOTHER IN AUSTIN TEXAS
Things I've learned from my boys:honest NOT A JOKE
1) A king sized waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq.ft. house 4 inches deep
2) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
3) A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing
batman underwear and a Superman cape. it is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can,to spread paint
on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room
6) You should not throw baseballs up when ceiling fan is on. When using fan as a bat, you have to throw the
ball up a few times before you get a hit. a ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
7) The glass in a double pained window doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
8) When you hear the toilet flush and the words uh-oh, it'a already too late.
9) Brake fluid mixed with clorox makes smoke, and lots of it!!!!
10) A 6yr. old boy CAN start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36yr. old man says they can only do that in
movies.
11) Certain legos WILL pass through the digestive tract of a 4yr.old boy.
12) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
13) Superglue IS forever
14) No matter how much jell-o you put in a swimming pool you still cant walk on water like jesus
15) Pool filters do not like jell-o.
16) VCR'S don't spit out pb&j's like the commercials show they do.
17) Garbage bags don't make good parachutes.
18) Marbles in a gas tank makes lots of noise when driving.
19) You probably don't want to know what that odor is.
20) Always look in the oven BEFORE you turn it on, plastic toy's don't like the ovens.
21) The fire dept. in Austin texas, has a 5-min. response time.
22) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
23) It will however,make cats dizzy.
24) Cats throw up 2x's their body weight when dizzy.
25) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the clorox and break fluid.
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