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Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

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  • Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    Question: How do you tell the difference between
    Democrats, Republicans And Southern Republicans?

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
    and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist
    with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes
    with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises
    the knife, and charges at you. You are
    carrying a Glock cal .40, and you are an expert shot.
    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your
    family.

    What do you do?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Democrat's Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the
    question!

    Does the man look poor? Or oppressed?

    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
    him to attack?

    Could we run away?

    What does my wife think?

    What about the kids?

    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock
    the knife out of his hand?

    What does the law say about this situation?

    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
    of message does this send to society and to my children?

    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be
    content just to wound me?

    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my
    family get away while he was stabbing me?

    Should I call 9-1-1?

    Why is this street so deserted?

    We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day
    and make this happier, healthier street that would
    discourage such behavior.

    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with
    some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Southern Republican's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

    BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

    BANG! click

    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the
    Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"


  • #2
    Re: Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

    Bwahahahaha!! [img]/images/graemlins/notworthy.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/notworthy.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/notworthy.gif[/img]
    My future band shall be known as "One Samich Short Of A Picnic"!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

      [ QUOTE ]
      Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
      him to attack?


      Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
      of message does this send to society and to my children?


      [/ QUOTE ]

      [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

        I consider myself a Democrat and very liberal person, but even before reading the scenario the Southern Republican answer came straight to my mind [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] I normally hate political threads but that was kinda funny

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

          Anyone that didn't see those answers coming please step forward.
          I want REAL change. I want dead bodies littering the capitol.

          - Newc

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

            I'm not even American and I saw those coming [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

            What if he were a Dominican Republican? Or a Banana Republican? Or just a Publican?
            Hail yesterday

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

              or a MEpublican, where one is only concerned about how shit affects them, (or "me" as it were) [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
              Sully Guitars - Built by Rock & Roll
              Sully Guitars on Facebook
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              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

                I'd wait for my wife to use her laser-beam eyes on him. She uses them on me constantly.
                sigpic

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

                  [ QUOTE ]
                  Anyone that didn't see those answers coming please step forward.

                  [/ QUOTE ]

                  Why, so you can shoot them, too? [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

                    [ QUOTE ]

                    Southern Republican's Answer:

                    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

                    BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

                    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

                    BANG! click

                    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the
                    Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

                    [/ QUOTE ]

                    [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] Being a southern Republican I would have to add a "KICK to the face" right after the last click! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
                    Here's to the second amendment,which is what will keep scenarios like that from ever happening,and the main reason why none of these filty fucks will ever invade or occupy the U.S.A. [img]/images/graemlins/toast.gif[/img]

                    [img]/images/graemlins/headbang.gif[/img]

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

                      I am a Republicrat. I would make sure that he did something NON-PC. Then I would buy a legal gun. Then I would go to his house and try to talk it through. If he wouldn't come around to my liberal way of thinking, I would give him numerous chances to reconsider, search my sole, and then pop a cap. Not to kill, mind you, but to get him to see things my way. If that didn't work, then I would call 911 for him and turn myself in. [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]
                      I am a true ass set to this board.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican

                        [ QUOTE ]
                        Anyone that didn't see those answers coming please step forward.

                        [/ QUOTE ]

                        Blatantly obvious yes, but it doesn't change the fact that that's exactly how it would go down, especially the part about the liberal trying to wave his magic wand to improve your life for you. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
                        My future band shall be known as "One Samich Short Of A Picnic"!

                        Comment

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