Lame Jokes

[Chameleonfong]

A young American tourist goes on a guided tour of a creepy
old castle in Scotland. At the end of the tour the guide asks
her how she enjoyed it. She admits to being a bit worried
about seeing a ghost in some of the dark cobwebby rooms and
passages.

"Don't worry" says the guide, "I've never seen a ghost all
the time I've been here."

"How long is that?" asks the girl.

"About three hundred years."

[Chameleonfong]

Re: Lame Jokes

A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks
down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood.
About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and
looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk.
He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud, this is my car!"

"Okay," the man says, "You take the front and I'll take the
back."

[LouSiffer]

Re: Lame Jokes

2 women have a ladies night out and get ripped on tequilla. They realized they are too drunk to drive and decide to walk home as it is only a few blocks away.

On the way home, they realized they had to pee really bad. They both figured the best thing to do was go into the cemetary and squat behind a head stone.

The first lady realizes she has no toilet paper so she pulls off her panties, wipes with them and tosses them off to the side. The second said " There is no way, I just paid $60.00 for these from Victoria's Secret." She then looks up on the head stone and sees a wreath with a ribbon. She pulls the ribbon off , wipes and they both went home.

The next morning, the husband of the first lady calls the husband of the second lady and says " This ladies night out shit is going to stop....my wife came home with no panties on!!" The second guy replies " Thats nothing, my wife came home with a ribbon between her legs with a card attached that said : Thanks for all the love you have given us!!" -Lou

[RacerX]

Re: Lame Jokes

BillZ's insistence on calling his replicar a Cobra

[the_drip]

Re: Lame Jokes

lmao.

[Jack The Riffer]

Re: Lame Jokes

A Blind guy walks into a bar.

[Jack The Riffer]

Re: Lame Jokes

How did the fairy get pregnant?

She sat on a toadstool

[Top Jimmy B]

Re: Lame Jokes

[ QUOTE ]
BillZ's insistence on calling his replicar a Cobra

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] Ouch. heh heh.

[Sparkytfl]

Re: Lame Jokes

Why can't a bicycle stand by itsself?
Because it's two tired.

[Endrik]

Re: Lame Jokes

A couple notices that no matter how they try the wife doesn't get pregnant. Husband goes to see a doctor on day, doc gives him a bottle for sperm sample, next day the man returns with an empty bottle, doc asks "what happened", the man says " I tried and tried, I tried with my right hand, I tried with my left hand, I tried with my both hands, then my wife tired, with mouth, with theeth but still couldn't






open the damn bottle

[shreddermon]

Re: Lame Jokes

What do you call a blond with two brain cells? Pregnant.

What do you call a brunette sitting between two blonds? An interpreter.

Why is a blond like a bathroom? Because everyone's been inside one, at some point.

How do you drown a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

[donf]

Re: Lame Jokes

Guy walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "Can I have a beer, and give me one for the road" [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

An 18 year old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says "who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house, a mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of
the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother and the girl, an d tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You fuck her again."

[Mätt]

Re: Lame Jokes

So a baby seal walks into a club...

[Mr. Poon]

Re: Lame Jokes

12 Polish guys were beating up a German guy. The German kept screaming, "Nein!!! Nein!!!", so three of them went home.

[horns666]

Re: Lame Jokes

"BillZ's insistence on calling his replicar a Cobra"

oh that is soo0000 funny...No it's a "REAL" cobra Ronald. [img]/images/graemlins/eyes.gif[/img]

I borrowed it from the Smithsonian so I can show off to you hillbillies... [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

They made less than 500 real ones and are worth about a half a Mill...oh sure...it's real!!!

BUT...It looks awesome , handles awesome and is one FAST SOB...and all the "cobras" you see at the clubs , cruises and whatnots..are ALL replas..and mine has to be one of the baddest ..and they all cost over 35-65K and hold their value...unlike a production car such as a "C6 vette or viper" and I leave them both in the dust....and that is NO joke!

but this is..

How do you stop a chihuahua from humpin' your leg...


pick him up and suck his dick..