Lame Jokes

[semagic]

Re: Lame Jokes

[ QUOTE ]

I
SOFA
KING
WE
TOD
ID
[img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

a great prank made even better [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[GodOfRhythm]

Re: Lame Jokes

I don't get it, please enlighten me! It'll kill the joke but I wanna know! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[horns666]

Re: Lame Jokes

DudeOfRythm..keep saying it over and over again..don't think..just say it ..the answer is right there..and when you "realize" what your are actually saying..you'll laugh your ass off..!!!!!!!!!!!

OH Thanks Jason...yeah That makes it much better...unless there's kiddies there..so now we have two versions of it..a PG-13 one and a R one..I like the R one better myself...COOL!!!! [img]/images/graemlins/toast.gif[/img]

GOR..if you still don't get..get someone else to try it...that might even make it better...

and if YOU still don't get it...

we WILL tell you!!! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/toast.gif[/img]

[GodOfRhythm]

Re: Lame Jokes

[img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

I got it. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[toejam]

Re: Lame Jokes

[ QUOTE ]
So a baby seal walks into a club...

[/ QUOTE ]
LMAO!! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] I can't believe I missed this one! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[horns666]

Re: Lame Jokes

"I got it."

Awesome..I didn't want to spoil the fun.. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

now go get someone else with that..and watch the fun ensue.. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Chameleonfong]

Re: Lame Jokes

A freelance photographer decided he wasn't making any money
shooting scenic pictures for magazines like National
Geographic, so he decided to change his style and shoot porn
instead. He had a fabulous idea for a theme, certain it would
make him a big name in the business, but it would require a
model he called 'a true blonde.' He began interviewing models,
but none of them were quite what he was looking for.

After weeks of searching, he began to get depressed, thinking
he'd never find the perfect model. He stopped in a coffee
house and ordered some coffee... and that's when he saw her.
The waitress was perfect! She had platinum blonde hair that
fell below her shoulder blades, a gorgeous face and a body all
men want and all women wish they had. Excitedly, he asked her
if she'd ever done any nude posing before. She shrugged and
said she hadn't, but for the right price, she would.

"I have only one question," he asked. "Are you a true blonde?"

"I've never, ever dyed my hair, if that's what you mean,"
she answered.

So he gave her his card and told her to meet him the next day
at his studio. When she arrived, he told her to get undressed
and step onto the stage he had set up. She undressed and he
noticed that her pubic hair was black.

Frowning he said, "You said you were a true blonde! What a
waste of my time this is."

She gestured to him sweetly and walked him over to his desk.
She took his hand and sensually placed it palm down onto his
desk, then suddenly grabbed a huge paperweight and slammed it
onto his hand as hard as she could. When he cussed and
screamed at her in agony she just smirked.

"Awe, look at that," she cooed, "it's turning black, and it
was only banged... once."

..

[Chameleonfong]

Re: Lame Jokes

The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, a
beautiful young woman waited me on. She asked what size I
wanted and I said I wasn't sure. So she asked now big I was
and I said, "Compared to what?"

She held up one finger and asked if I was that big.

I said, "I'm bigger than that."

Then she held up two fingers and asked if I was that big.

I said, "I'm bigger than that."

Then she held up three fingers and asked if I was that big.
I said, "I'm about that big."

She put the three fingers in her mouth and said, "You're a
medium."
..

[Chameleonfong]

Re: Lame Jokes

Three guys are golfing with the club pro. First guy tees off and
hits a dribbler about 60 yards. He turns to the pro and says,
"What did I do wrong?"

The pro says, "Loft."

The next guy tees off and hits a duck hook into the woods. He
asks the pro, "What did I do wrong?"

The pro says, "Loft."

The third guy tees off and hits a slice into a pond. He asks the
pro, "What did I do wrong?"

The pro says, "Loft."

As they're walking to their balls, the first guy finally speaks
up. He says to the pro, "The three of us hit completely
different tee shots, and when we asked you what we did wrong
you gave the same exact answer each time. What is 'loft?'"

The pro says, "L-O-F-T: Lack Of Fucking Talent."

[npacheco]

Re: Lame Jokes

A penguin is driving in Arizona. His car starts to sputter and shake. He makes it to a little town out in the desert and pulls into the local garage.

The mechanic says it'll take him a little while to figure out what's wrong with it and he should come back later to check on the car.

The penguin says, "Cool. Is there an ice cream shop in town? I could go for something cold right now." The mechanic replies, "Yeah, right across the street."

So the penguin orders a bowl of vanilla ice cream. Well, being a penguin he is very messy eating the bowl of ice cream and has it all over his mouth and face.

He heads back to the garage and asks if the mechanic knows what's wrong with his car.

The mechanic says, "It looks like you blew a seal." The penguin gets real embarrassed and starts wiping his face saying, "No, no, that's just vanilla ice cream." bud-dum-puh

[fett]

Re: Lame Jokes

What does an elephant use for tampon? [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Thor Von Clemson]

Re: Lame Jokes

What time did the tooth have to go to the doctor?




Tooth-hurty [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[Chameleonfong]

Re: Lame Jokes

This fellow comes to confession. "Father," he said, "for-
give me for I have sinned."

The priest asked, "What did you do, my son?" "I lusted,"
the fellow replied. "Tell me about it," the priest said.

The fellow then related his story. "Father, I am a delivery-
man for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in the
affluent section of the city. When I rang the bell, the
door opened and there stood the most beautiful woman I have
ever seen. She had long blonde hair and eyes like emeralds.
She was dressed in a sheer dressing gown that showed her
perfect figure. And, she asked if I would like to come in."

"And, what did you do, my son?" asked the priest.

"Father, I did not go in the house but I lusted. Oh, how I
lusted," replied the man. "Your sin has been forgiven,"
replied the priest. "You will get your reward in heaven,
my son."

"A reward, father?

What do you think my reward might be?" the fellow asked.

The priest replied, "I think a bale of hay would be appro-
priate, you jackass." ..

[Tekky]

Re: Lame Jokes

Drunk guy walks into a confessional, the priest opens the little door between the two and the drunk guy says, "You got any toilet paper over on that side?"

[Shawn Lutz]

Re: Lame Jokes

More and more entertainers are helping raise money for Hurricane victims by donating personal items to be auctioned off with the proceeds going to the American Red Cross. Star Jones donated a dress and the mayor of New Orleans was the winning bidder, he plans to patch the roof of the super dome with it.