a new "mom" at age 35 or more.. f*ckin hate it!

[pebber]

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ok.. I had one awfull weekend.. I just got the "good" news my father and his girlfriend (only slightly younger) will move in in my elderly home where I've spent most of my life..
ok, I know, I'm 35 and have my own life & family so what's wrong with your dad beein' happy (my mom passed away 5 yrs ago).. nothin', no?
maybe it would have been easier if she would have shown some minimal interest in who we are and what we do, instead of brainwashin' my father, and meanwhile inviting her kids in my elderly home.. while we're not invited of course..
this not only SUCKS but will evolve to bigger problems later on, since nothin is discussable anymore..
F*ck, I have a lot of negative energy to get out somehow.. as you may have noticed
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[Cleveland Metal]

Re: a new \"mom\" at age 35 or more.. f*ckin hate it!

THis sounds pretty unpleasant. Didn't quite get the full situation from what you described there...

Your brainwashed dad and his new wife and her kids are moving into your own house, and not inviting you?

Not quite following exactly. Doesn't sound cool nonetheless... Sorry to hear of such troubles for you.

[LouSiffer]

Re: a new \"mom\" at age 35 or more.. f*ckin hate it!

Sounds to me like your dad is high on what he thinks is "love" from this woman and is unable to think clearly. Its really hard to do anything. On one hand, you tell him how you feel and what is going on and he doesn't understand, he just thinks you are trying to ruin his relationship. On the other, even if he does understand, he may be so afraid of being alone again, he may still stay with her.

Tough situation and my best wishes. Just hope ole dad sees through the smoke and mirrors.-Lou

[dg]

Re: a new \"mom\" at age 35 or more.. f*ckin hate it!

By "elderly home" do you mean the home you grew up in? That's what I was thinking. This is one of those tough issues that many of us face as we get older. It is very hard to watch one parent move on and pursue a new relationship after the other has passed away. I'm sure you love your Dad and want him to be happy, but it's very hard not to have feelings deep inside that he is somehow abandoning your Mom. It is hard not to view his girlfriend negatively, and she is very likely uncomfortable about the situation as well, which may account for why they haven't invited you over. My best friend's father is just now starting to get back into dating after his wife passed away, and it is not going over well with my friend or his sisters. We had a long talk about it & I was as supportive as I could be, but I basically said that I know that his Mom loved & trusted his Dad for over 40 years and he never let her down. She would want him to be happy & not spend all of his remaining time grieving. It's easy to know it in your brain, but it takes time to feel it in your heart. I hope things go better for you, bro!