I need all the male jcfr's help

[Thor Von Clemson]

"I'm a girl. Its a girl thing"

Thats what she says when she claims she NEEDs to get her nails and hands and whatever done. When she claims she needs to get new clothes and she will never be happy with what she has. She has more clothing NOT in her closet that I have had my entire life. I am a pretty simple person. I feel I have my head screwed on pretty well. When it comes down to it, I try my hardest not to get anything I do not need.

So what am I supposed to say to her when she justifies spending money we do not have on things a human does not need? I try telling her I am a man... Why dont I light up a dube and watch some porn?

Dont get me wrong, I love her madly and I am very excited to be married. Its just I am a little concerned about her claiming she needs these things.

How can I talk to her about these things without getting pissed and thinking all women are materialistic shopping money sucking demons who are going to cause me to lose my hair and start drinking heavily? Joy (my fiance) is pretty down to earth most of the time, and I am sure most men would pray for a woman who uses her brain AT ALL, much less most of the time... Sometimes though I feel like all she cares about is money and buying new clothes.


Any advice?

[AlexL]

Re: I need all the male jcfr\'s help

You're asking the men on this board advice on how to convince someone to not spend a bunch of money on things they don't need?

Good luck.

I'd offer some advice, but I'm to jazzed thinking about relaxing in the hot tub we just installed this weekend...


- E.

[LesPaulCustom]

Re: I need all the male jcfr\'s help

You ask for a mans help?!?!?! Good luck....I can understand her reasoning for spending money just fine....its men that just dont get it....its a female thing...leave it at that and dont question it...its alot easier that way...

Mrs LPC

[Inearthed]

Re: I need all the male jcfr\'s help

She's addicted to buying stuff and spending money. I hate to say it but since it has happened this long she's used to it and it has become a habit. This happens a lot with people who aren't truly happy with themselves - they try to buy countless things just to fill some sort of feeling of emptiness that they have. How long has this been going on? Her entire life or since you've been married?

It might be time to budget her an allowance or just say "no more buying excessive stuff. Maybe counseling?

[Inearthed]

Re: I need all the male jcfr\'s help

[ QUOTE ]
You ask for a mans help?!?!?! Good luck....I can understand her reasoning for spending money just fine....its men that just dont get it....its a female thing...leave it at that and dont question it...its alot easier that way...

Mrs LPC

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, I find statements like this one to be quite troublesome... "she claims she needs to get new clothes and she will never be happy with what she has"

[toejam]

Re: I need all the male jcfr\'s help

Buy one expensive guitar, tell her you need it! Afterall, it is only ONE guitar compared to the shitload of clothes and shoes and other amenities she "needs".

[Tekky]

Re: I need all the male jcfr\'s help

Wow. Wish I could help you man. I think I actually may have as many clothes, if not slightly more than my wife does.

When Kristi wasn't working we both stressed about money, but we both knew what was realistic about what we needed. We had our share of arguments about money or lack thereof, but when we both calmed down we realized we were working towards the same goal with limited resources. We made some sacrifices, she sacrificed her manicures and pedicures and we both sacrificed going out drinking with our friends.

[sully]

Re: I need all the male jcfr\'s help

[ QUOTE ]
You're asking the men on this board advice on how to convince someone to not spend a bunch of money on things they don't need?

Good luck.


[/ QUOTE ]

+1.

I have the opposite. my g/f asks me (for some retarded reason) if it's okay that she spends her own money to get her hair done. she's very good with money, and actually feels guilty when she spends it. cracks me up. i'll tell you the same thing i tell her.

are your bills paid?
do you have money in the bank?

her answer to those questions are always yes, so i tell her to relax. we keep our money separate; i highly recommend it. sure, have an acct for house stuff if you like, but don't have a joint account as your main bank account. there nothin worse than buying your own birthday present.

if she's paying for her own clothes, nails, hair, etc, and her bills are paid, you shouldn't care what she spends her money on. i'd be more concerned with what sounds like shopping to fix self esteem issues.

sully

[LesPaulCustom]

Re: I need all the male jcfr\'s help

<font color="yellow">Ummmm, isn't this rather hypocritical [img]/images/graemlins/scratchhead.gif[/img]

We, as guitarists, usually spend a lot on our gear....some of which aren't "needed", but, rather wanted...as in, I wan't this blah blah blah....I already have 4 of them, but, can always use another.

I spend a lot on guitars, guitar equipment etc. so when Krista says she wants new clothes or whatever, it's cool.....because I have a great wife who supports my addiction and does a lot to help me get them.

You have to compromise with her bro....sorry to say that, but it's a fact. She will resent you for telling her what she can/cant buy when you have your toys....it will get ugly.

Just my opinion....so don't torch up the flamethrowers.....but come on, fair is fair. </font>

[fett]

Re: I need all the male jcfr\'s help

[ QUOTE ]
You ask for a mans help?!?!?! Good luck....I can understand her reasoning for spending money just fine....its men that just dont get it....its a female thing...leave it at that and dont question it...its alot easier that way...

Mrs LPC

[/ QUOTE ] Give her $100 and tell her to go to a thriftstore. You can buy all kinds of "name" stuff for pennies. I just bot a Ralph Lauren jacket for my dau in law for $1.08 and a leather jacket for her hub for a $1.08. If you don't curb the "spending maddness" you won't be able to buy that 5th guitar. You have to make a stand. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[FusionFarmer]

Re: I need all the male jcfr\'s help

Its not my fault "I'm a guitarist, Its a guitarist thing" I'm pretty lucky my wife make more money than I do, and shes cheap!!!

[fett]

Re: I need all the male jcfr\'s help

[ QUOTE ]
Its not my fault "I'm a guitarist, Its a guitarist thing" I'm pretty lucky my wife make more money than I do, and shes cheap!!!

[/ QUOTE ] Well, whether it is clothes or guitars, they end up it the closet. "Oh Honey. I am going to wear the dress I bought six months ago." "Well, Sweet Cheeks. I am going to whip out that guitar I bought 10 months ago and see if it's still in tune." [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[sully]

Re: I need all the male jcfr\'s help

you should, however, have her donate all the clothes that she doesn't wanna wear anymore; we do that every coupla months.

sully

[Emthrax]

Re: I need all the male jcfr\'s help

Dude... I wish I could help you, man, I do. But I am totally in your boat. I have never understood why on earth women get their nails done, their hair done, and have to have a new outfit and SHOES, God.. the shoes... , every month. I DONT GET IT. And I AM a woman!
And a feminine one at that! I wear heels and like my hair to look nice. But geez!

It is a stupid stereotype that is perpetuated by magazines and the fashion "industry" and television... yadda yadda yadda. I could go on.
A woman can have one nice reasonable wardrobe that can last her for a couple years. She can do her own hair and get it trimmed at the salon a few times a year.(Keith trims mine for me though, but that's because I only let him touch my hair.)
The nails... well, I play guitar so I only have nails on one hand. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
Can't help there.

From what I have been able to ascertain (and this is a general observation, as I do not know your sweet fiancee), is that most women are extremely competitive with OTHER women. They have to be prettier, have the newest "thing"... it's a class thing. Women get sucked into it and (my opinion) lose their identity to Cosmo.
They won't admit it. But everyone woman is aware of it.
No woman goes anywhere without being conscious of every other woman around her, and women check each other out and size each other up. Yes, they do. Some don't give rats ass, to others it is very important.

Yes, women need to be pampered and like to feel sexy and put-together. But there is no need to spend a fortune on all that bullshit to feel that way. I think it's a self-esteem issue (again, generalization). Like how some people eat to feel better, many women shop to feel good. It's like cocaine. It's EVIL.
Pardon my soapbox outburst, btw. I just get real heated when I see women get sucked into all this. A person does not need several wardrobes, or a studio full of guitars, to be awesome.

Good luck, bro. Be sweet and kind. I hope the two of you can compromise and find a happy medium. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
I hope I wasn't too off the mark. Pardon me if I was. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

-Emmy

[sully]

Re: I need all the male jcfr\'s help

Em. go get yer pirate name before the day is through.
y'arrrrgh. just sayin.