Fan Compliments.... chime in fella's

[jgcable]

I hate getting compliments and for the most part, I don't like the fans or the crowd. Here is my reason:
Musically, I am a failure. I was supposed to be famous from the early age of 3 when I first started playing piano to the ripe old age of 10 when I was a child prodigy on the piano and played at Lincoln Center, to 14 when I was in the school band and could play every instrument and every part of every song and I couldn't read a lick of music, to all my adventures with guitar and my metal bands and recording studios, and songs on the radio that I never got paid on, Ozzy Osborne and Foreigner auditions etc... basically, I had many many many many "musical" lottery tickets and I never won. EVER.
At 44 I am relegated to play local dives for little or no money. What I do get.. is compliments on my playing. If I were a vampire.. compliments would be garlic or holy water.
Why do I hate them? Because I know deep inside that I am a musical failure. I never made it. I came really close but I never did. Thats the reality of it.
Do any of you players feel similar?

[sully]

Re: Fan Compliments.... chime in fella\'s

nope. you're as much of a failure as you want to be. if someone compliments me on something, i thank them. you don't have to agree with it.

[Chuckracer]

Re: Fan Compliments.... chime in fella\'s

Wow. Well said, Dr. Sully.

I never had the chances and opportunities you've had, John, and you're ten times the guitar player I'll ever be, but the one thing this four year ordeal with kidney failure (including coming DAMN close to it killing me in '02) has taught me is to not sweat the small stuff, and don't take yourself, your life, and your plans very seriously because it can all be gone like a wisp of a breeze.

You take your self very seriously and are very intense. You need to stop, take a huge step backwards, and breath. Lighten up.
The ability you have is a talent...a gift. Enjoy it, and gladly share it with others. If you couldn't do it for a mayrid of reasons, you'd be miserable. There's no sense in being miserable when you CAN do it!

[OnlineStageGear]

Re: Fan Compliments.... chime in fella\'s

Uggg, I wish my band wouldn't take to heart the comments at a bar. One person will come up to my singer or someone else and say they didn't like a song we played. Well, next band practice it has turned into "a lot of people" and we are now dropping the song. It doens't matter that we got just as much response from the croud after that song....

Matt

[zeegler]

Re: Fan Compliments.... chime in fella\'s

A compliment is a gift. Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

[atilla]

Re: Fan Compliments.... chime in fella\'s

Hey, if you play something and somebody out there liked it and you made their day a little better by playing it, that's a good thing. Take the compliment. If someone trashed something you did, figure out if there's something constructive you can take from it.

Here's the way I look at it...when the work week is over, I can go and get paid (though admittedly badly) to do something fun with my friends that I'd otherwise be doing by myself for free.

[Big D]

Re: Fan Compliments.... chime in fella\'s

[ QUOTE ]
I hate getting compliments and for the most part, I don't like the fans or the crowd. Here is my reason:
Musically, I am a failure. I was supposed to be famous from the early age of 3 when I first started playing piano to the ripe old age of 10 when I was a child prodigy on the piano and played at Lincoln Center, to 14 when I was in the school band and could play every instrument and every part of every song and I couldn't read a lick of music, to all my adventures with guitar and my metal bands and recording studios, and songs on the radio that I never got paid on, Ozzy Osborne and Foreigner auditions etc... basically, I had many many many many "musical" lottery tickets and I never won. EVER.
At 44 I am relegated to play local dives for little or no money. What I do get.. is compliments on my playing. If I were a vampire.. compliments would be garlic or holy water.
Why do I hate them? Because I know deep inside that I am a musical failure. I never made it. I came really close but I never did. Thats the reality of it.
Do any of you players feel similar?

[/ QUOTE ]

Am I bummed out that I didn't "make it" and that now I'm just a normal guy with a day job? Absolutely.

But at 37, I still love to get compliments on my playing when we gig. I had a local metal guy who I really respect tell me the other day that my playing reminds him of Paul Gilbert. I was high for 2 days even though I know my playing is a joke compared to someone at that level.

I'm wondering why do you continue to play out at all if you don't enjoy the emotional reward of having people dig what you're doing?

[Shawn]

Re: Fan Compliments.... chime in fella\'s

My wifes older sister was 37 years old, a Budweiser model, a marathon runner, a marine biologist and a coastal engineer. She could could go offshore fishing in her own boat during the day, gut a Tuna, and that nite absolutely take your breath away with her beauty. She died last year of lung cancer 10 days after being diagnosed. Never touched a cigarette.

Thats a tragedy and a failure. Not making a bazillion dollars and being in a famous band isnt. I own more guitars than chords I can play, but I smile through everyone of those chords because I am alive and able to have fun doing something.

If you still enjoy playing, then its definitely not a failure.


Shawn

[shreddermon]

Re: Fan Compliments.... chime in fella\'s

Dude, reading between the lines, I sense a fair bit of self-loathing there. You had a lot of opportunities to "make it big" but never won. ...But so what.

Lots of people are in your boat. By that, I don't mean that you're not talented. Clearly, with all of those opportunities, you would HAVE to be very talented for consideration. But there are lots of very talented folks out there who are never "lucky" enough to make it big. (And there are lots of untalented folks who HAVE made it big - look at most everyone in rap, for instance. Or Paaris Hilton. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] )

You need to get comfortable with your place in life. If only to get yourself into a happy place again. It doesn't diminish your skills or gifts. I know that's easier said than done, but you NEED that.

And, as to those fan compliments... They are a reflection of your talents, and you should take that to heart. Don't be an @ss to the fans because you may not be satisfied with where you are in life. No matter what, the fans deserve a sincere "thank you" for paying the compliment.

[jgcable]

Re: Fan Compliments.... chime in fella\'s

I wonder why I play live too. Thinking about it... of course I don't hate the crowd. Most of them are my friends. I hate what the compliments feel like inside. I am always nice to everybody and gigs are usually like a big party.
I always felt it was my destiny or obligation to be a famous musician. Alot of it probably comes from my childhood when I was referred to as a child prodigy. I had an invitation to attend The Julliard School of Music when I was 10! Thats the equivalent of getting a scholarship to Harvard when you are in grammar school. It certainly messed with my head I guess. Talent and music is a gift and I should be as happy as a clam. Maybe one day I will be.

[sully]

Re: Fan Compliments.... chime in fella\'s

[ QUOTE ]
"I'm just not happy. I'm just not happy. I'm just not happy because my life didn't turn out the way I thought it would." Hey! Join the fucking club, ok!? I thought I was going to be the starting center fielder for the Boston Red Sox. Life sucks, get a fucking helmet, all right?! "I'm not happy. I'm not happy." Nobody's happy, ok!? Happiness comes in small doses, folks. It's a cigarette, or a chocolate cookie, or a five second orgasm. That's it, ok! You come, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to fucking work, ok!? That is it! End of fucking list! "I'm just not happy." Shut the fuck up, all right? That's the name of my new book, "Shut the Fuck Up, by Doctor Denis Leary. A revolutionary new form of therapy." I'm gonna have my patients come in. "Doctor, I.." "Shut the fuck up, next!" "I don't feel so.." "Shut the fuck up, next!" "He made me feel so much better about myself, you know? He just told me to shut the fuck up and nobody had ever told me that before. I feel so much better now."

[/ QUOTE ]

D. Leary

[~K~]

Re: Fan Compliments.... chime in fella\'s

Funny, I think that was the way all of us think. What makes you so much better? So does that mean we are all failures?

Not everything in music was about talent. Some of it is charisma and some of it is the luck of being in the right place...

I always had the charisma, and while I can play a guitar I'm not great .. but I was never in the right place...

doesn't make me a loser.. doesn't make you one either ..

[hippietim]

Re: Fan Compliments.... chime in fella\'s

[ QUOTE ]
A compliment is a gift. Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, we agree on something Zeeg! Well said.

[atomic charvel guy]

Re: Fan Compliments.... chime in fella\'s

i love compliments, i eat them up like dinner. even if it's on my sneakers.

[MBreinin]

Re: Fan Compliments.... chime in fella\'s

I don't play out. However, whenever I play around someone or for someone and I get a compliment, I am happy. I have played for almost 20 years. It has been a struggle because I am not a natural musician. I am coordinated and have alot of manual dexterity, but I don't have a great ear and I certainoy don't have the technique of many on this board or elsewhere.

I started to play because I love guitar and I wanted chicks. I still play for those reasons. I would have loved a career in music...still would...but I know it is a pipe dream for me. I am a lawyer. My life is boring. However, every once in a while something fabulous happens, or something walks in...or whatever..and it makes living worth while. I have two gorgeous kids, and unfortunately an awful ex-wife to go along with them, and a few guitars. I don't have alot of the stuff I used to have, but that is OK.

If I can get a blowjob out of playing the guitar, that is good enough for me.

Mike