Animosity between my band and other local bands

[Mr White]

Alright people.

For some reason the other local bands think we're arseholes and as a result of that we havnt been offered a gig in over 6 weeks. This was unintentional, it started as a misunderstanding between one of the other bands and our drummer and they thought he'd called them dicks when he says he didnt. Id been arranging gigs with their guitarist and he said that we could forget playing any gigs that he'd lined up. I managed to get this back to an amicable situation with that guy. Then another thing, happened. Theres this forum website and if you get a band forum on there you have to shut down your current forum and link to the new one from your website. So as a band, we use that forum as we used the old one, to arrange piss-ups etc and to basically discuss band matters (like when we're practicing) and stuff. We've entered a battle of the bands and when we found out the bands we were up against (a pop punk band and some other band) the singer put on the forum something like "haha we've got that round in the bag" and then all these people started posting comments saying things like "dont be so cocky, the other bands might be better than you, ever thought of that?" and shit, and recently the singer of our band was kinda taking the piss out of some other band with a big group of mates, but some of the people were mates with the band, and also another band member got drunk and started bragging about the band to friends of band members.

Basically, we havnt been offered any gigs in a while. Which is kind of a good thing cos two of us have been busy with our studies. But we want to get out of this.

A lot of the local bands look very 'now' (big flesh tunnels, tight girls jeans, theyre all straightedge and have emo haircuts). See we dont, we're a bunch of ugly drunk metalheads, but the thing is, I dont want this shit!!!

Stuff has been taken out of context and I dont know if its this, or the fact that we're relatively unknown in this town which is accounting for the lack of gigs.

Whats the way around this?

We're arranging some local gigs before and after xmas, and we were going to invite a lot of other local bands to play (mainly those that dont like us) to show we're decent guys, and like we'll do all the arranging etc and we'll go on first or second and let them have a higher place in the bill.

But I dont want the band to be the bitches of the scene...

This is really getting to me,

Any ideas? Maybe arrange the gigs and tell the other bands we're not cocks?

James

[xenophobe]

Re: Animosity between my band and other local band

Sounds like some of your band members dug the hole...

Do anything and everything you can to get the other members to respect the other musicians? Public disrespect is about the lowest thing one musician can do to another, and the only thing worse you could get is a reputation for stealing other bands' gear, IMO.

Most bands are supportive of others, and once a band shows that they're not supportive of others in the scene, that's a hard rut to dig out of and will take a lot of damage control. I've never been in this situation, so I can't think of much you can really do but try to make new friends or repair old bridges...

[Mr White]

Re: Animosity between my band and other local band

So the offering gigs and basically being friendly as anything approach should work?
Its really pissed me off. If this was in my job or at uni or whatever I wouldnt give a toss, but its in something I do for pleasure. I mean, you dont shit where you eat...
One of the bands we've pissed off are kind of like the darlings of the scene, and all the bigger scene bands love them. But these bands are very 'scene'...

Bah.

James

[horns666]

Re: Animosity between my band and other local band

Yeah that exact same thing happen to a few friends of mine in Antithesis..they don't play ANY clubs here anymore..they won't have them..and they were signed to Massacre a couple years ago...and they dropped them.

but they are opening for Sonata Artcica..so that's cool.

Yeah , they come off as pompous ass munches..that may have something to do with it..

Here's a clue..If you happen to be a pompous asshole or you are in a band with one..try NOT to act like one...at least smile on occassion...or this WILL happen.

[Shawn Lutz]

Re: Animosity between my band and other local band

[ QUOTE ]
Sounds like some of your band members dug the hole...

Do anything and everything you can to get the other members to respect the other musicians? Public disrespect is about the lowest thing one musician can do to another, and the only thing worse you could get is a reputation for stealing other bands' gear, IMO.

Most bands are supportive of others, and once a band shows that they're not supportive of others in the scene, that's a hard rut to dig out of and will take a lot of damage control. I've never been in this situation, so I can't think of much you can really do but try to make new friends or repair old bridges...

[/ QUOTE ]

+1

Even though I approached the situation that other bands are competition when I was gigging I always gave every band we played with their due respect even if I didn't really like their stuff. It is just a common courtesy imho. You are more alike than you would normally think. You have to give some respect bands for getting out and playing vs. staying in the garage or rehearsal space.

[Mr White]

Re: Animosity between my band and other local band

Thats the thing - Thats my exact attitude. The way I see it is a if a bands playing anything remotely heavy then thats ace to me, even if musically it aint that good. And you can never have too many friends in this area. If someone likes heavy music and is in a band, they have 99% more in common with me than the majority of people out there. A lot of the bands in the scene use Jacksons. Theres this band of kids that are 16/17, their guitarist has a SLSMG. When we gigged with them, their singer kept talking to our other guitarist repeatedly asking him "are you stoned?" cos he looks like Jay from Jay and Silent Bob; whereas me and this guitarist talked about guitars for about 45 mins. Really enjoyed talking with the lad. I got out my battered Dinky XL and he was like 'woah, its gorgeous'.

Unfortunately the nasty-ness has arisen dude to alcohol.
Its been nothing to do with me - I havnt been drinking with the band for about a month Ive had too many assignments.
Its pissing me off cos the band use to be completely free from hassle etc and itd be fun to do, now its giving me a bad feeling. I dont want to get rid of anyone (its not my place to do so) but I want to right this wrong.

Am I right in thinking that the previously mentioned gig idea would be worth doing?

James

[thetroy]

Re: Animosity between my band and other local band

What are "big flesh tunnels" ?

[Mr White]

Re: Animosity between my band and other local band

These are

[OnlineStageGear]

Re: Animosity between my band and other local band

[ QUOTE ]
Sounds like some of your band members dug the hole...

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what I was thinking. If you are in the position where you are relying on other bands for gigs, then you really need to be humble and basicly kiss ass till you are able to line up your own shows. Even then, never burn any bridges if at all possible because it can and will come back to haunt you. The phrase "No such thing as bad publicity" doesn't apply to strugling bands.

Matt

[Mr White]

Re: Animosity between my band and other local band

Its not like we cant arrange gigs, its very much a 'if you want it, do it' kind of affair with gigs. But itd be nice to kinda be in demand etc. And well, Itd be nice for bands to not think we're arseholes.
I know I dont want this and the reasons etc, but has anyone actually got any advice as to how to resolve it?

James

[guitarsjb]

Re: Animosity between my band and other local band

One step towards resolution would be to apologize to the people your band has pissed off. It's a start.

[Mr White]

Re: Animosity between my band and other local band

Do you reckon a straight kinda 'sorry' would work or should it kinda be a more gesture based thing? Cos we're trying to play it down and we dont want to say "sorry for shit-talking you" and them to go "what?" and not know about it.

James

[diablomozart]

Re: Animosity between my band and other local band

band relations are always a tricky thing...everyone seems to be chasing the brass ring of a recording contract and looks at it like there is only one to get...so it becomes very competitive...first step...tell your band members to quit talking bad about other bands...while in the long run it may not kill your band, it certainly won't help it...if necessary teach them how to be people persons...lol...i had to learn it...i have seen many bands i didn't care for...and i'll admit that they are good if "not to my taste in music"...after all everybody has a vision and tries their hardest i think and that in itself deserves respect...second...apologize to the ones you know know about it...if others know about it and haven't brought it up, then odds are they don't really give a damn what your band members think...to sum it up...always be nice...if alcohol is a problem, talk with your band members about it...there is a difference between being "confident" and being an "a$$hole"...d.m.

[Mr White]

Re: Animosity between my band and other local band

Thanks DM. Things are kinda competitive as the main core the of the local band scene are fashionable trend-following metalcore people. The rest is metalheads. People with long hair or shaved heads and tattoos of Ozzy Osbourne and Cannibal Corpse t-shirts. We fall into the second group.
The thing with apologising, its going to be tricky, as all we've heard is "The other local bands think youre dicks, cos of X, Y + Z" from a mate of ours. So we dont know what the situation is.

I think the best bet is to be as friendly as we usually are, organise our own gigs and invite the other local bands to play. We'll bite our tongues and swallow our pride and put them on after us, which can only go down good. They'll be happy that we've given them a higher slot and if we play better than them it'll make us look good.

I think thats a decent plan.

I mean at the end of the day, having some bands being pissed off at us is nothing. However, it does cause friction, friction that we dont need and that I personally, really dont fucking want.

James

[lerxstcat]

Re: Animosity between my band and other local band

I can see the tactic of inviting them to your own gigs as goodwill gestures, but why would you want to let them headline over you at your own gig? I think that's a bit too "submissive' and would probably not be to your benefit.
Let them be on the bill, or not but don't turn over the headline gigs to them. They may get asked back while you are not.

Also, bear in mind don't neglect the bands that are already your allies to stroke ones you've pissed off. Mix it up, so if the band you were trying to atone with decides to not show in order to fuck up your gig, then you'll still have the other band, and it's a 2-band bill instead of maybe one if both your pother acts decide to stiff you becasue your drummer and singer talked some shit. Make amends but don't put your head completely on the block.