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Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/partner

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  • Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/partner

    'Tis the season, I got this e-mail from a friend. Some of these are pretty darn funny:

    1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

    2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

    4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in! an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.

    5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

    6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.

    8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.

    10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

    11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.

    12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.

    13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!

    14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!! And; last, but not least!)

    15. Go into a fitting room and shut the do or and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
    I want REAL change. I want dead bodies littering the capitol.

    - Newc

  • #2
    Re: Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/partner

    haha those are very funny
    Light intervened, annihliating darkness.
    The path of salvation made clear for the prodigal human race

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    • #3
      Re: Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/par

      I like #1... but place them in old peoples carts only.
      -Rick

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      • #4
        Re: Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/par

        # 15 rules!!! I gotta try that!
        My goal in life is to be the kind of asshole my wife thinks I am.

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        • #5
          Re: Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/par

          The alarm clock one I have actually tried. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

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          • #6
            Re: Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/par

            Try to find an item made in the USA, that should kill some major time
            I say the boy ain't right!

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            • #7
              Re: Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/par

              Try to find an employee made in the USA, that will take even longer. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

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              • #8
                Re: Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/par

                I go to WM early in the morning. They have their "Associate Meeting' right there near the men's department. God, to listen to those poor people have to clap and cheer everytime the 'head honch' says something makes me want to puke. If I keep buyng cheap guitars, I may have to sign on as a "Greeter' to support my habit. I would rather die first. Those poor, poor people. Give them a break.!!!!! (No more than 15 minutes, though.) [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
                I am a true ass set to this board.

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                • #9
                  Re: Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/par

                  Next time they have the meeting you should walk into the group and try to participate. Clap when they clap and if asked for feedback regarding anything let them know what you think.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/par

                    [ QUOTE ]
                    Next time they have the meeting you should walk into the group and try to participate. Clap when they clap and if asked for feedback regarding anything let them know what you think.

                    [/ QUOTE ] I used to mix up the meetings when I worked at Charles Schwab. The people there were, at least, stockbrokers. If I did that at WM, I would probably be killed. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
                    I am a true ass set to this board.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/par

                      I like to put a single banana, K-Y and condoms in peoples carts.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/par

                        Once on vacation with the inlaws I got sent to a local store to get some condoms. To keep my mother in law from tagging along I had to get her and my father inlaws stuff. I felt like such a weirdo going up to the register with rubbers, metamusil, and preperation H. Next time I think I will for go the humilation and just let the old lady know what I am getting.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/par

                          the clerck figured you were into "older" women. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

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                          • #14
                            Re: Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/par

                            Me and a friend actually tried #13 once...almost got myself locked up...forgot to move racks on a regular basis..hell I was drunk..lucky to get into or out of one..

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                            • #15
                              Re: Things to do at Wal*Mart while your spouse/par

                              Next time there is a meeting yell that there is very elderly lady at the front of the store that just slipped and fell on the wet floor. Wanna see everyone disappear but the manager?
                              Remember, Wherever you go,.. there you are

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