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Faulty Intelligence

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  • Faulty Intelligence

    You might have already seen this, but it's damn funny.

    CHENEY SAYS SHOOTING OF FELLOW HUNTER WAS BASED ON FAULTY INTELLIGENCE
    >
    >Believed Shooting Victim Was Zawahiri, Veep Says
    >
    >Vice President Dick Cheney revealed today that he shot a fellow hunter while on a quail hunting trip over the weekend because he believed the man was the fugitive terror mastermind Ayman al-Zawahiri.
    >
    >Mr. Cheney acknowledged that the man he sprayed with pellets on Saturday was not al-Zawahiri but rather Harry Whittington, a 78-year-old millionaire lawyer from Austin, blaming the mix-up on “faulty intelligence.”
    >
    >“I believed I had credible intelligence that al-Zawahiri had infiltrated my hunting party in disguise with the intent of spraying me with pellets,” Mr. Cheney told reporters. “Only after I shot Harry in the face and he shouted ‘Cheney, you bastard’ did I realize that this intelligence was faulty.”
    >
    >Moments after Mr. Cheney’s assault on Mr. Whittington, Mr. al-Zawahiri appeared in a new videotape broadcast on al-Jazeera to announce that he was uninjured in the vice president’s attack because, in his words, “I was in Pakistan.”
    >
    >An aide to the vice president said he believed that the American people would believe Mr. Cheney’s version of events, but added, “If he was going to shoot any of his cronies right now it’s a shame it wasn’t Jack Abramoff.”
    >
    >At the White House, President George W. Bush defended his vice president’s shooting of a fellow hunter, saying that the attack sent “a strong message to terrorists everywhere.”
    >
    >“The message is, if Dick Cheney is willing to shoot an innocent American citizen at point-blank range, imagine what he’ll do to you,” Mr. Bush said.
    >
    >Elsewhere, aviator Steve Fossett completed his three-day journey around the globe, setting a world record for wasting both time and money.

  • #2
    Re: Faulty Intelligence

    LOL... good stuff.
    -Rick

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Faulty Intelligence

      "President George W. Bush defended his vice president’s shooting of a fellow hunter, saying that the attack sent “a strong message to terrorists everywhere"

      [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
      OMG, that's ridiculous....

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Faulty Intelligence

        Dick's reaction had to be hilarious...

        I bet SNL will do their version of this incident!
        "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
        Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

        "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Faulty Intelligence

          [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/headbang.gif[/img]
          Guitars... Rhoads RX10D
          Amp... Pioneer
          Effects... Boss ME-20

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Faulty Intelligence

            good stuff

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Faulty Intelligence

              lol Where was this taken from? Source? [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Faulty Intelligence

                Google

                First 2 results...


                (I think they are humor sites) [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]
                "Quiet, numbskulls, I'm broadcasting!" -Moe Howard, "Micro-Phonies" (1945)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Faulty Intelligence

                  HOMELAND SECURITY DEPARTMENT UNVEILS CHENEY ALERT SYSTEM Color-coded System Would Warn Nation of Future Attacks by Veep Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announced today that his department would immediately implement a “Cheney Alert” system to warn Americans if an attack by Vice President Dick Cheney is imminent.

                  The Department of Homeland Security has been under pressure to respond to the widespread panic and anxiety that have gripped the nation since Mr. Cheney shot and wounded a fellow quail hunter while on a hunting trip in Texas over the weekend.

                  Across the country, people have holed up in their homes and hoarded food and water, fearing another senseless attack by the gun-toting vice president.

                  “What we have learned, the hard way, is that Dick Cheney can attack without warning,” Mr. Chertoff said. “It is our hope that with this Cheney Alert system we will be able to give the American people some warning before he strikes again.”

                  The alert system, with five color-coded levels indicating the likelihood of another brutal pellet attack by the Vice President, was derided by some in Congress such as Sen. Joseph Biden (D-Del), who likened it to “closing the barn door after the horses have escaped.”

                  “The fact is, the White House already had ample warning that Dick Cheney was going to strike, and they sat on their hands and did nothing,” Mr. Biden said, referring to a Presidential Daily Brief dated February 4 with the title, “Dick Cheney Determined to Strike in US.”

                  Elsewhere, former Education Secretary William Bennett said that he was “outraged” that an NHL gambling ring has been in operation for five years and he was never invited to participate in it.
                  "Quiet, numbskulls, I'm broadcasting!" -Moe Howard, "Micro-Phonies" (1945)

                  Comment

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