New girl, sort of, need opinions.

[Ace]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

All joking aside, the honest truth is that every woman and every situation is different. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience, no two girls are exactly the same. What one likes another one may hate. You've got to play it by ear and use your best judgement to do what's right. The biggest mistake you can make is to fawn over her like a freakin' puppy dog the minute she gets off the plane.

And just ask Newc how great his love life is before you take his advice. I've had plenty of great relationships, not just meaningless casual sex. But believe me, sex is a BIG part of any relationship. You could be the nicest, sweetest guy ever, but if you are a pussy in bed eventually some dude with a bad boy attitude is gonna convince her that she's really missin' out, and your gonna have a nasty situation on your hands. Girls talk about sex WAY more than dudes do. Five years from now if you ain't keeping her excited, she's gonna start reading in Cosmo about women having 5 or 6 orgasms in a row and all sorts of shit and she's gonna wander on you.

[YetAnotherOne]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

Buy her flowers, don't buy her flowers, fall madly in love, bang her 'til she can't stand up, be nice to her, don't be nice to her, take it fast, take it slow, blah, blah, blah, blah.

There's only one thing to remember here: this chick is your ticket to the promised land of hand built custom guitars and boutique amps and *that* my friend is rare. The average guy will get a shot at 3, maybe 4 chicks like that in his lifetime (usually only after he's married to one that's looking at him as a source of new Beemers and a steady stream of Gucci accessories) and most of those will have the personality of an ill-tempered pit bull with the looks to match. This is indeed a golden opportunity, don't fuck it up. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[PowerTube]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

[ QUOTE ]
And if she professes her love for you, make sure you don't tell her how you really feel about her, because, you know, chicks wanna be treated like crap and left wondering if you really like her or you think of her as a sister or something platonic like that. Better yet, they love it when you lead them to believe that you're waiting to get them in the sack before you're sure if you love her, because, y'know, why spend time with a chick that can't move under the sheets?
[img]/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Newc, I've never had anything but the absolute utmost respect for you. Having said that, let me say that I respectfully disagree with most of what you've said here.

Most American women in this day and age don't respond to what the Dr. Phils and Oprahs of the world will tell you. Every girl with any semblance of beauty is used to being told how beautiful she is, having guys kiss their asses, etc.... and you know what? When a man does this, she doesn't see him as a "real" man. If he comes across as a needy wimp, it'll be an instant turnoff to her. What he'll get is, "you're so wonderful. I bet you would make some girl a great boyfriend someday! I bet I can also cry on your shoulder about the Hells Angel I'm banging." Then it's over. And.... once it's over, she'll never again feel about him the way he wants her to.

[ QUOTE ]
Don't be too quick to bone her. I'm sure she's had those types of relationships and is probably burned out on them, just like you did.


[/ QUOTE ]

It makes absolutely no difference whether he "bones" her within five minutes of her arrival or if it takes six months. What matters is that he doesn't try to "make" it happen, but instead he lets it happen naturally. This is another way of saying, don't be needy, not sexually or emotionally. As long as things follow a natural progression and she's good with it, no harm done.

[ QUOTE ]
9 out of 10, she loves you like you love her.

[/ QUOTE ]

Not so fast, my friend. It would be very dangerous for him to jump to any such conclusion. I think it would be much more accurate that she sees a chance that she might could feel this way and, frankly, she wants to see if he will ALLOW her to feel this way about him. Generally speaking, there is nothing an interested woman would rather do than to fall head over heels in love with a man who has her interest, BUT... he has to remove her inhibitions from doing so. One of the biggest inhibitors to this is when he immediately professes his "love" for her. This usually makes her run screaming away if it's said before she's ready to hear it.

[ QUOTE ]
If she says she loves you, tell her how you feel, not just "me too", RIGHT THERE.

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/nono.gif[/img]

Disclaimer: Sure, he can do this, but I don't want to hear about his broken heart a month later when she tells him that she "just wants to be friends." This is a very critical point in a relationship. Even though she has technically said it first, he would still be jumping the gun by saying it just yet. He should do something like I suggested above ("stick around and find out, etc..."), while SHOWING her how he really feels. This is massively important. SHOW her how you feel in subtle ways for a bit, but don't tell her verbally too soon.

A couple of weeks later, say "I love you" when she least expects it and watch her totally melt!!!!

[ QUOTE ]
I think you'll have all the answers when she comes for the visit, whether you screw it up or get it right.

[/ QUOTE ]

Warning: He doesn't get just dozens of chances to get this right!!! Never in history has a woman dumped a man for not saying that he loves her right away. However, many a man will tell you that he lost a woman because he did tell her too soon. In fact, ask a few of your friends and I bet you'll be surprised at just how many of them have experienced this very thing.

Please forgive me if I'm coming across as an abrasive prick or something because I don't mean it that way. From where I sit, I see a great guy with a chance at a great girl. I just want him to understand some of the basic fundamentals so that he doesn't get his heart broken. This girl is obviously interested in him, but he needs to play this the right way and keep control of himself. If he falls into her arms declaring his undying love the minute she walks up, I give it a 99.9999% chance that it's "game over" for him with her. It might take a couple of days or it might take a few months, but if she sees that he's weak enough to lose himself in her and be emotionally dependent on her, she will certainly walk away soon enough. I don't want to see that happen.

[Razor]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

PowerTube has to be Dr. Drew in disguise! [img]/images/graemlins/scratchhead.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Rock on with your bad self boss, that's kick ass advice! [img]/images/graemlins/notworthy.gif[/img]

[Child Of Norther]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

Offer porn and a slice.

[Annah]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

[ QUOTE ]
Great advice, guys. Bang her first to see if she's good, or bang everything that you can find to "practice" so you'll be great for her...

[/ QUOTE ]

HAHAHAHHAHAH! You guys crack me up! Good one Matt! Who needs reality TV when you've got the JCF???

[YetAnotherOne]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

[ QUOTE ]
Offer porn and a slice.

[/ QUOTE ]

Of hot man pie? [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[fett]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

Whatever you do, don't show her this thread. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[No Use]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

+1^

[toejam]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
And if she professes her love for you, make sure you don't tell her how you really feel about her, because, you know, chicks wanna be treated like crap and left wondering if you really like her or you think of her as a sister or something platonic like that. Better yet, they love it when you lead them to believe that you're waiting to get them in the sack before you're sure if you love her, because, y'know, why spend time with a chick that can't move under the sheets?
[img]/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Newc, I've never had anything but the absolute utmost respect for you. Having said that, let me say that I respectfully disagree with most of what you've said here.


[/ QUOTE ]
How do you not agree with New's sarcasm?!? [img]/images/graemlins/poke.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[YetAnotherOne]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

[ QUOTE ]
Whatever you do, don't show her this thread. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh I dunno, weeding out the vast majority that have no sense of humor is, after all, relatively important....

[fett]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

I am footloose and fancy free with stuff I think is funny. But, this is serious. Maybe later on, but if he showed her now he may see his dream deflate as well as his balls. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[YetAnotherOne]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

If his dream were to deflate in the near term the balls would stay fully inflated, no?

[charvelguy]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

Some women do not respect a pushover, nor do some want to have things move to slowly if they really like you.
But, if they do know you and like you, some do appreciate small gestures of affection that would make you 'sweet'.
As with nature.. you show your best plumage or sing your best song but it doesn't necessarily mean you are getting any tail, let alone finding a suitable mate.

I recommend getting some shoe polish, learning to speak some other language and moving to the ME. Polygamy..get a harem going. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/brow.gif[/img] ('course, I mean no offense to any members here)

[fett]

Re: New girl, sort of, need opinions.

Not based on the fact that he has been longing for this young lady for a long time. Prunes? [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]