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5 Words I can't stand to hear my wife say

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  • #46
    Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

    Like we didn't know THAT already [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/poke.gif[/img]

    "Does this dress/these pants make me look fat?"

    No, it's not the clothes, it's your butt [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

    When a fashion model or actress comes in view (TV, real life, pic in her "Women's" magazine etc) "Do you think she's pretty?"

    Women always want to hear some crap like "Not as pretty as you are, dear", yet they also want their man to be honest - so please, ladies, never ask that question [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

    Or guys can answer that one with "Why, you thinking about a 3-way?" [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

    "Well, no, I was just asking"

    "Why?"

    "Well....just asking"

    [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
    I want to depart this world the same way I arrived; screaming and covered in someone else's blood

    The most human thing we can do is comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

    My Blog: http://newcenstein.com

    Comment

    • #47
      Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

      [ QUOTE ]
      [ QUOTE ]
      [ QUOTE ]
      [ QUOTE ]
      That or "I have a headache tonight." [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

      [/ QUOTE ]

      Let me tell you a little secret - this only works because you guys don't know that having an orgasm actually can help relieve a headache.

      [/ QUOTE ]
      Seems women don't know it can relieve a headache, otherwise they'd want to.

      [/ QUOTE ]

      We just know you'll believe we have one and leave us alone - it's not like we always have one when we say it - some of us are pretty good at faking it! [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

      [/ QUOTE ]
      I'm pretty good at faking it, too. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
      I feel my soul go cold... only the dead are smiling.

      Comment

      • #48
        Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

        [ QUOTE ]
        [ QUOTE ]
        [ QUOTE ]
        [ QUOTE ]
        [ QUOTE ]
        That or "I have a headache tonight." [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

        [/ QUOTE ]

        Let me tell you a little secret - this only works because you guys don't know that having an orgasm actually can help relieve a headache.

        [/ QUOTE ]
        Seems women don't know it can relieve a headache, otherwise they'd want to.

        [/ QUOTE ]

        We just know you'll believe we have one and leave us alone - it's not like we always have one when we say it - some of us are pretty good at faking it! [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

        [/ QUOTE ]
        I'm pretty good at faking it, too. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

        [/ QUOTE ]

        <font color="aqua">yes, Kramer - [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] </font>
        Dave ->

        "would someone answer that damn phone?!?!"

        Comment

        • #49
          Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

          LOL That's a Kramer quote? Didn't know that.
          I really am good at it, though. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
          I feel my soul go cold... only the dead are smiling.

          Comment

          • #50
            Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

            Whaddya do, spit on her back? [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
            I want to depart this world the same way I arrived; screaming and covered in someone else's blood

            The most human thing we can do is comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

            My Blog: http://newcenstein.com

            Comment

            • #51
              Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

              Shhh, don't tell. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
              Or just be like Josh Hartnett in 40 Days and 40 Nights, try to get rid of the condom without her seeing if there's anything in it! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
              I feel my soul go cold... only the dead are smiling.

              Comment

              • #52
                Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

                [ QUOTE ]
                That or "I have a headache tonight." [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

                [/ QUOTE ]

                Just put a bottle of aspirin on the night stand. when your wife ask "what are those for?" you reply "they are for your headache" "But, I don't have a headache" there you go
                I say the boy ain't right!

                Comment

                • #53
                  Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

                  [ QUOTE ]
                  [ QUOTE ]
                  That or "I have a headache tonight." [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

                  [/ QUOTE ]

                  Just put a bottle of aspirin on the night stand. when your wife ask "what are those for?" you reply "they are for your headache" "But, I don't have a headache" there you go

                  [/ QUOTE ]
                  fuckin classic! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
                  the guitar players look damaged - they've been outcasts all their lives

                  Comment

                  • #54
                    Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

                    ahhhhhh...20 years of marriage..I heard them all..all of the above man..at one time or another..

                    I got some GREAT responses for all these statements..

                    but I gotta go make a pizza...I'll be back...maybe [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
                    "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                    Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                    "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

                    Comment

                    • #55
                      Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

                      [ QUOTE ]
                      ahhhhhh...20 years of marriage..I heard them all..all of the above man..at one time or another..

                      I got some GREAT responses for all these statements..

                      but I gotta go make a pizza...I'll be back...maybe [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

                      [/ QUOTE ]DiGiorno is it Bill? Or Tombstone perhaps? [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
                      "The BLUES is the tonic for what ails ya."

                      Comment

                      • #56
                        Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

                        Nahh...just two big loafs of french bread!!!

                        Then I put a little love on them!! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
                        "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                        Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                        "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

                        Comment

                        • #57
                          Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

                          [ QUOTE ]
                          Nahh...just two big loafs of french bread!!!

                          Then I put a little love on them!! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

                          [/ QUOTE ]You go HORNS!!! I mean 666!!! I mean Bill!!! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/headbang.gif[/img]
                          "The BLUES is the tonic for what ails ya."

                          Comment

                          • #58
                            Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

                            "Do you think she's cute?"
                            There's just no safe answer because you're either telling a lie or you don't find your wife attractive anymore.

                            Comment

                            • #59
                              Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

                              "Damm, My period just started" Followed by "I'm all out of Tampons" then the killer "Could you go get Tampons?"
                              ...that taste like tart, lemon yogart

                              Comment

                              • #60
                                Re: 5 Words I can\'t stand to hear my wife say

                                " Baby might not be yours" [img]/images/graemlins/sick.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/what.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/sick.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/what.gif[/img]

                                Comment

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