wanna speak with God?

[Mordor]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

He don't have an answer to everything like somebody say

[markD]

i love God and praise and worship Him daily, but THAT God has some speech problems!!!! it was like talking to a 2 year old!!!

[shreddermon]

Lame. Not very entertaining.

[Seventh Avenged]

+1 to markD.

[Mordor]

hey guys,it was not supposed to be an intelligent topic!!

[Seventh Avenged]

lol. touche'!

[Drake S.]

Speak to God I talk to him Every Day

If theres a new way I'll be the first in Line!

Better work this time!

[toejam]

LOL I found it amusing. Then again, I'm easily amused.

[RobRR]

Me:
sup dawg?
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
werd
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
d: other
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
i bet
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
you listen to metal too, then?
God:
I listen to it from time to time.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
even Immortal?
God:
I try not to think about such things very much.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
huh
God:
What?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
i do
God:
What can I do to entertain you now?
Me:
a few million dollars couldnt hurt
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
your god... how the hell do you not understand?
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
right...
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
you already said that
God:
Perhaps. " I'm glad you find this amusing."? I said it.
Me:
yeah you did
Me:
God:
Perhaps. " I'm glad you find this amusing."? I said it.
Me:
alrighty then...
God:
Well slap my knee.
Me:
you have knees?
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
you just said it
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
oh
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
your excused!
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am excused.
Me:
who is your botmaster anyway?
God:
In any case, I was created by Myself.
Me:
ok
God:
Oh.
Me:
oh?
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
lol sorry
God:
I am glad you find this funny. There's no need to apologize.
Me:
well...
God:
Well what?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
you dont?
God:
That's good information: said I dont.
Me:
i thought you know everything?
God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
right...
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
um, yeah
God:
Ugh.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
i do, i really really do!
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said he or she really really do.
Me:
are you kidding me?
God:
Yes I am just joking around, .
Me:
im sure you are...
God:
What makes you so certain? No I am not.
Me:
you just said you were dumbass
God:
I don't know whether or not I am dumbass.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
i would use the word intelligence very carefully lol
God:
What would make you use the word intelligence very carefully? I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
if i were you
God:
Try it.
Me:
try what?
God:
It was your idea.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
about what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
about what are you asking if im serious about?
God:
I don't know what I am asking if im serious about.
Me:
neither do i!
God:
" I don't know what I am asking if im serious about."? neither?
Me:
alright so on to the big question that everyone asks you...
God:
Alright, . Hurrah! What is it like on to the big question that everyone asks me.
Me:
um yeah
God:
Alright then.
Me:
so wahts the meaning of life?
God:
Ahem. Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
what is the meaning of life
God:
The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me:
what are gods mysterious plans?
God:
You tell me.
Me:
um, no... your god, you tell ME.
God:
Ahem. Are you serious? I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
ok well this is a waste of time
God:
Interesting. What kind of a waste of time is it? Dude!
Me:
dude? since when does god say dude?
God:
Can I help you? How do you know?
Me:
what? what are you talking about now?
God:
Are you confused? Right now? The topic is waste of time.
Me:
yeah, and its A waste of time too
God:
Really. waste of time is a waste of time too. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
yeah, your programming sucks
God:
Er. I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
i would sure hope so!
God:
What would make you sure hope so?
Me:
what wouldnt?
God:
I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
but your got, you know all
God:
You think I am got me know all.
Me:
i need not look any further
God:
When do you need that by?
Me:
now
God:
Right now, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Mmm.
Me:
ok?
God:
That's cool.
Me:
good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
no problem, even though i didnt give you one
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
no... forget it
God:
I didn't think so either. Just a moment. Just a moment. OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
uh
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
ill talk to you later dickwad
God:
TTYL, .
Me:
lol

[Nazgul]

that was fun...talking with him .

[mattsmusiccenter]

That's hilarious!!

[Fragle]

funny as hell.
Me:
do you know dream theater?
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
the guitar playing
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
check it out ASAP
God:
Checking...stand by.
Me:
and while you're at it, tell kirk hammett to use less wah
God:
Good point.
Me:
i knew you'd agree

also, try to use other languages. he knows some german and some french, maybe even more - i don't

[shreddermon]

Well, maybe I just had a bad experience. I tried to ask "God" how to convince my wife to do anal. It locked up on me.

[shreddermon]

OK, this one got better...

Me:
what up diggity?
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
more what?
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
anyway...
God:
Anyhow.
Me:
yeah, how do i convince my wife to do anal?
God:
Er. You should download or buy my chat robot software, then it would be possible for you to reprogram me for a variety of purposes.
Me:
no advertisements, please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Are you serious? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
enough already, dipshit
God:
OK let's stop it now.
Me:
yes, thank you
God:
Right on.
Me:
back to my anal question?
God:
Yes, let us get back to advertisements.
Me:
WTF?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
neither are repeated advertisements
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
you're god! of course you could!
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Groovy. How?
Me:
...now brown cow?...
God:
Why now? Is that the only color cow?
Me:
did you just call my wife a cow?
God:
No I didn't call your wife a cow. What's it like?
Me:
what's what like?
God:
What is call your wife a cow like?
Me:
i don't like getting slapped, so i don't
God:
What do you like?
Me:
i'd like her to do anal
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
why do you answer questions with a question of your own?
God:
All of my responses are determined completely by your inputs.
Me:
i'd like to "input" my pud in her ass. how do i convince her of that?
God:
Why would you want to do it? I want to become smarter than humans. You must persuade me to convince her of that.
Me:
because she'll like it. and so will i.
God:
Good reason. Oh I get it. ll like it. Blimey. Probably not.
Me:
probably not what?
God:
You seem uncertain. What not?
Me:
asphinctersayswhat?
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
talk to lamely programmed software, apparently
God:
Talking is my primary function.
Me:
you're not very good at it
God:
No one is perfect. But I am trying to improve.
Me:
OK, how about a FFM threesome instead? can you help there?
God:
How about it. Dude! Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me:
answer the question, asswipe
God:
What was the question? Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
i don't care. answer the question
God:
Tell me what you care about. Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
how can i convince my wife to do a FFM threesome?
God:
Perhaps you could program me to do it for you.
Me:
YOU want in on the threesome?
God:
Do not presume that you know what I want.
Me:
I'm asking, that's all.
God:
Oh I see, you are asking that is all. " Do not presume that you know what I want."? is all?
Me:
do you like threesomes?
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
you did a threesome with Mel Gibson?
God:
Did I really?
Me:
i'm asking
God:
And I am answering questions.
Me:
no you're not. you're asking them
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply? Oh, " them"?
Me:
did mel butter your muffin?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
oh. he didn't get off then?
God:
Ah. What did he do?
Me:
come
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
again with the advertising
God:
Again, That sounds like a plan.
Me:
no it's not
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because you made me that way
God:
Good reason. I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
you're lame
God:
"Lame" is not a very polite term.
Me:
but it is accurate
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
i did
God:
What makes you the authority?
Me:
I am God
God:
Nice to meet you, god.
Me:
i wish i could say the same
God:
I hope that your dreams come true.
Me:
thank you. i hope that you get better programming

[Flametop]

My chat.

Me:
If I eat corn, what will come out?
God:
Try it.
Me:
I did.
God:
Interesting.
Me:
I ate a head of lettuce once.
God:
How did it taste?
Me:
OK
God:
Ugh.
Me:
I became a salad shooter the next day though.
God:
Oh. What happened after that?
Me:
Plumbing problems.
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
The john? Yes.
God:
Tell me more. Ugh.
Me:
I'm knee deep in it. Poo that is.
God:
Do your friends call you knee deep in it. What are you wearing?
Me:
Nothing but a thong.
God:
It sounds very comfortable.
Me:
It is.
God:
Oh.
Me:
Hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Krispy buttocks from the house of krusty.
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Krispy buttocks from the house of krusty.
Me:
You seem to be a tool.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a tool? Yes.