General contentment/fulfillment with life

[Wayniac]

Hey Guys/Gals...
Just wondering if any of you are fulfilled with your life.
I'm not, and want to get back to where i was in my head and my heart a few years ago. I'm not talking material stuff, just I guess mentally/spiritually....
Dunno what it is with me lately (last 3-5 yrs)- been just kind of "existing" rather than "living". I USED to be real active, driven, focused.. and yet still upbeat and satisfied.... gym, hiking, biking, playing out with the band, spending time with family and friends, doing some volunteer work, etc.
Now - dunno - after work, just kind of too drained. Don't really enjoy going out much and dealing with rude people either, and seems no matter where you go - there they are.
I'm gonna be 37 in Sept, have a good paying job (I don't consider it a career), a good second income for gear/travel/toys, a great girlfriend (supportive, sweet, kind, employed (lol) understands my GAS, lets me go on tour, etc)), supportive friends and family (2 awesome nephews that are 5 and 1 and keep me going), have had opportunities to travel and tech/tour...
Just some spark in me has faded.... and I want to get it back. Too young for a midlife crisis...
I personally think I am just burned out on the corporate BS and what it has become. It's now all about schmoozing ablility rather than technical ability - I don't work that way, no matter what your title is, If you are a dumbass... sorry - doesn't matter how you dress, you can't polish a turd. And i will call you out on it if asked for my opinion...
I am going back to school for a BS or BA in Music and Sound Recording (though I already have 2 MS's courtesy of work). May want to open a studio or a music club, as I have found the only way to really get ahead is to work for yourself - otherwise someone is making more off of your sweat than you are... and may as well do something you really like, right?
Of course, will have to wait an see the fallout of this current economy before I try opening a club..
Any guidance for being happy(er) with day to day life?

[DonP]

I'm still happy and kicking ass at 40. Having three kids and a wife depending on you certainly puts a crunch on things, but I'm always fighting for more. Having the stress of a family will put me in the grave faster, but that stress keeps me on my toes.

As to what to recommend to you, I have no idea. Maybe it's just your job? My job is pretty good but the company is going under, forcing me to take a job 4 hours away from my family. It sucks, but it's a challenge, and laying down and playing dead isn't an option. Hopefully I'll get some new skills that are in higher demand so that I can work close to home again. Or, maybe we'll relocate. Who knows, life is always throwing a curve ball at you.

[horns666]

My life only has one purpose remaining..Life brings me very little joy. Even tho I am blessed with many great thing. The constant physical pain I endure consumes me, making it very difficult to enjoy these blessings.

I'm only here to keep my son Vincent on the straight and narrow..

Just to make sure he does well, and steer him away from as much fuck ups that I possibly can..

Once I see that he achieves this one last goal of mine..my job here is done..

So, until then..I'm just killin' time.

When my time does come..it will be welcomed. My wife will carry out my last wishes as well.

No obituary, No mass, No service, No Burial..just have my carcass hauled to the cheapest, nearest crematory, and do "whatever" with the ashes...it doesn't matter to me...that's not important.

So, with that said..Yes, my life is completely fullfilled..whatever I was ever going to do with my life is already done..days have lost meaning..now my Mondays are the same as my Saturdays...only my family matters.

I just ty to keep a smile on my face as much as possible..but smiles are few and far between.

[Boxcar Willie 84]

Hell if I know. I will be 22 next week and I feel pretty unfulfilled in a lot of areas of my life too. However, I had a revelation the other night though. I was driving to practice with the most recent band I've taken up with, and to get to the practice space you have to drive thru a pretty shitty area of Charlotte. I was at a stoplight and this really beat up lady was walking across the street. I kind of looked at her for a minute and looked around me at the run down buildings and stuff, and I thought to myself, I am pretty lucky to be able to drive thru this place every night to go do something I love to do, instead of having to live here. I don't have a lot and sometimes barely make enough money every month to get by, and there are certainly people that have a lot more than me, but there are a lot of people who have less too. I guess the moral of the story is, you and me may feel unfulfilled by certain aspects of life but its gotta feel a hell of a lot better than being homeless or something like that.

[Wayniac]

Oh - don't get me wrong - this is a not pity me, my life sucks thread. I KNOW I have it pretty good - family, friends, health, pretty steady employment . .. just that spark that IS life.. I feel it ebbing, and now I am becoming more .. dunno - programmed or numb I guess??
Horns - Sorry to hear that bro ! Keep up the godo fight as long as possible.

[horns666]

Oh - don't get me wrong - this is a not pity me, my life sucks thread. I KNOW I have it pretty good - family, friends, health, pretty steady employment . .. just that spark that IS life.. I feel it ebbing, and now I am becoming more .. dunno - programmed or numb I guess??
Horns - Sorry to hear that bro ! Keep up the godo fight as long as possible.

You know it, I have no choice..

I did pretty good for me and mine..I did my best, that's all I can do..

[VulfgangPfuck]

I know I'm not fufilled at this point in my life. I've done and experienced things many people have not, or may never will experience. But even having done things I've done in life, it's not enough. I want to be around to see my children get started with their lives, and hope they start out the right way and remain that way, but like BillZ...after that, I don't care.

I thought I had everything I wanted in life at one time...a beautiful wife, a house, a killer guitar collection, a band, and friends around me all the time.

I don't have ANY of that anymore...and found those things aren't as important as my children's happiness and well-being. But as for me...I may be at an all time low point in my life, but I can reach my end just not caring anymore.

[jackson1]

Wayniac, i'm not going to post a longwinded story on this subject (even though i'd like to), but my english skills will mess it up.

I'll say one, simple thing though - the fact that you are aware of this change of spirit and can speak about it, will save your soul. You don't have a problem as i see it; you're not numb. You even state yourself, that you may as well do something you really like.... Well, there you have it. Persue in life what really interests you.

[Wayniac]

Birdz - see - that is where I'm heading, and dammit - I want to fight it as best as possible.
Jackson 1 - Thanks for your response - I'd love to hear what you have to say. If you don't want to post, please feel free to e-mail me at wpetroskeyATyahooDOTcom
That's the problem though- I feel that spark getting lower and lower.... just wanna know HOW to fuel it again...
Thanks bro !

[GodOfRhythm]

Far from it right now. I'm too young and still have to many things I'd like to see done and accomplish that'll only come with age and more time in life. On the other hand I hope to say the exact same thing in 20 years from now. The day I lose ambition and things to strive for, I'm done and I'll happily great the floor of the Grand Canyon speeding upto me at 250mph.

[pro-fusion]

I'm gonna be 37 in Sept ... Too young for a midlife crisis...

Actually, you're not. I'm almost exactly two years older than you (39 in August), and a couple of years ago I had the same feelings as you are experiencing.

One thing we have in common--no kids. Most of our peers have kids, heck some of 'em have teenagers, but since we don't have that, our lives aren't that much different in some ways than they were 10 or 15 years ago. The difference is that we've done it all and seen it all compared to our younger selves. So naturally there's going to be a loss of enthusiasm.

For me, I still have a crisis about this stuff occasionally--especially when it comes to being the "oldest guy in the room" at concerts and such, and getting the feeling that whatever I'm listening to I've already heard a million times before and can predict the next chord change, lyric line, etc. before it actually happens. Also getting the feeling like I could hop the train to fame and fortune if I were only a few years younger. And, like you, I'm not in an all-consuming career. I have a good job and enjoy it, but it's not something that makes me want to spend all my time at the office.

The answer--there is no answer. What has happened to me in the last six months to a year is that I went from the disillusionment you are experiencing to a more general sense of "codgerhood"--I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want, and I don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks, except for my wife--and she's going through the same phase! I think you'll find such a transition liberating. It certainly has been for me. I've become the "eccentric uncle" figure and I'm loving every moment of it. There are no rules anymore.

[Wayniac]

[QUOTE= What has happened to me in the last six months to a year is that I went from the disillusionment you are experiencing to a more general sense of "codgerhood"--I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want, and I don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks, except for my wife--and she's going through the same phase! I think you'll find such a transition liberating. It certainly has been for me. I've become the "eccentric uncle" figure and I'm loving every moment of it. There are no rules anymore.[/QUOTE]
Always been the "crazy uncle" - even before I had nephews! lol
THAT is what I miss - the ability to stay just on this side of out of control - that intensity! Also being a study in contrasts (as my psych major firend used to call me)- process engineer/rocker versus Jock/musician when I was younger....
Now I'm just some out-of-shape guy that works under fluorescent lights,. then sometimes I take vacation time, and work under stage lights...
And yeah - I have thought of the kid piece of the puzzle.. just not sure where i stand on that. 8-10 yrs ago - I was gung-ho. Now not so sure...
But yeah - I DO like the f**k it - works for me attitude.
Man- I thought by the time I was grown up, I'd KNOW what I wanted to be be when i grew up. Well I'm here, and looking for a map !!

[pro-fusion]

But yeah - I DO like the f**k it - works for me attitude.
Man- I thought by the time I was grown up, I'd KNOW what I wanted to be be when i grew up. Well I'm here, and looking for a map !!

I've given up on the notion that I'll ever grow up. And seeing my grown-up friends in action, I don't see any good reason to do so!

What I said previously didn't get to the heart of what changed for me. It's not just that I do whatever I want now--to a degree I always did and I suspect that you're the same. Part of getting older is that very little that happens in the world surprises you anymore. I lost a lot of my desire to make music for awhile because the old ways weren't doing it for me anymore, and I wasn't receiving new sources of inspiration from the "young'uns" of today. What ultimately happened is that I just stopped caring what box my music fits into and started fiddling around with whatever amuses me.

Obviously, your issues are more general than my musical dilemma, but I think the idea is to take the person you've always been and the things you've always been into--and just go off on tangents and take things in new directions. Easier said than done, but a lot of it is gut instinct. The world is a huge and interesting place, and I assure you that there people and things out there that will inspire the fuck out of you--you just have to start looking for them and surround yourself with some people who will challenge you to look at the world in a different way.

[atomic charvel guy]

WayWard Wayniac,
My life has been one long 15 year old experience. I had 37 of the best years you could really ask for, then 3 of the toughest ones that could be bestowed on one, and now I'm coming out of the storm. I have a magic guitar that makes me want to play, and it has powers that make me happy. I'm also a complete fukk up who just doesn't give a flying flank steak about anything anymore, and I get to do pretty much anything I want to, not as much in the material end, but in terms of meeting new girls, not catching hell from my girlfriend about it, starting a new job after doing my other one for the last 17 years, and it's less than a mile from my house. The smell of the salt air, the beach, the factory in town that spits out the smokin' beach twinkie fembots by the thousands, I can't complain. I'm 41, look 28, and I lost it all but am slowly getting it back. I fell a long way, but I am starting to stand up fairly quickly, I know I am destined for good things no matter what, I made it through the worst time of my life, and each day I walk outside in the morning I kiss the ground because I love where i live, and I am feeling just ducky. My ex-wife would probably like me to die in a fiery car crash, but that's o.k., I hope she finds a decent man, cuz with me, she just had a teenager, and that's the way I'm staying. Think young and you are young.
I'll invite you to my sweet 16 next january, it's gonna be a doozy. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, that's what almost took me down. Stay cool Waynester!!!
Tommy

[Fretfrenzy]

You guys need a good swift kick on the arse. Some of you gentlemen have it made in the shade and don't know it. Beautiful wives and girlfriends and good jobs! What more can you ask for? You should be like me! Lived most of my life under a rock and have nothing to show for it!