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A Polish man moved to Australia and married an Australian girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well,
until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him, in his
broken english, if he could arrange a divorce for him very quick.
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on
the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: Have you any grounds?
POLE: JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home.
LAWYER: No, I mean, what is the foundation of this case?
POLE: It made of concrete.
LAWYER: Does either of you have a real grudge?
POLE: No, we have carport, and not need one.
LAWYER: I mean, what are your relations like?
POLE: All my relations still in Poland.
LAWYER: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
POLE: Ja, we have hi-fidelity stereo set and good DVD player.
LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?
POLE: No, I always up before her.
LAWYER: Is your wife a nagger?
POLE: No, she white.
LAWYER: Why do you want this divorce?
POLE: She going to kill me.
LAWYER: What makes you think that?
POLE: I got proof.
LAWYER: What kind of proof?
POLE: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and
put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, "Polish Remover".
:ROTF:
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well,
until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him, in his
broken english, if he could arrange a divorce for him very quick.
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on
the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: Have you any grounds?
POLE: JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home.
LAWYER: No, I mean, what is the foundation of this case?
POLE: It made of concrete.
LAWYER: Does either of you have a real grudge?
POLE: No, we have carport, and not need one.
LAWYER: I mean, what are your relations like?
POLE: All my relations still in Poland.
LAWYER: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
POLE: Ja, we have hi-fidelity stereo set and good DVD player.
LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?
POLE: No, I always up before her.
LAWYER: Is your wife a nagger?
POLE: No, she white.
LAWYER: Why do you want this divorce?
POLE: She going to kill me.
LAWYER: What makes you think that?
POLE: I got proof.
LAWYER: What kind of proof?
POLE: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and
put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, "Polish Remover".
:ROTF:
Me and Metal Mike are gonna kick your ass! 
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