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This is a humble post from the heart..please don't delete this one..
Hey, this is yours truly Bill Z, and I have some explaining to do. I think I owe you that!!
Hmmm, where to start..
OK I went into a complete tizzy..I was like an F5 muthafugga..destroying anything in my path without a give a damn..I actaully blacked out in rage when I saw my Bush thread gone..I said what I did with the intentions of leaving this place..but I'm not gonna do it!
Because of you guys, I received so many PMs, Phones calls, Emails, and numerous post at Bill's Home, I can not leave.
The support I got from you guys was overwhelming, I was touched..sounds mushy, but true!
I tried my hardest to keep my tribute thread respectful and as civil as possible. I was doing a pretty decent job keeping it in check until I went to bed, obviously in my three hours of sleep, the thread plunged into a downward spiral of crap..The admins had no choice to unplug it. That was exactly what I was trying to avoid. So when I woke up just a few hours later and saw it gone..I immediately went into the red. When I'm, in the red I say whatever comes out of my mouth without due care whatsoever.
I tried my best but I learned in life you can't stop morons from being morons..that's like telling a fish.."don't swim"..
What frosted my ass the most is some newbies who have no clue what I'm about telling me that I'm unfit to be a cop and that I'm a danger to society and blah blah blah..not having a clue what I sacrificed to help others and lost many peers along the way doing the same..not a good thing to tell a broken down , bitter disabled cop that wished he could still be with his boys taking care of the biz he grew to love so much..I take that as an attack, those are fighting words..a new memeber named "Stewie" basically said that (I PMd him and invited him to my thread)..a newbie without a clue who I am and what I've done..Then fellow UK memeber JJW used the word "Coward"..not a good word to use with me..I am the antithesis of that very word. I guess he didn't use it in that context but it's one of those "trigger" words that puts me in the red instantly!
Since I been here for almost 5 years I made some great friends, and I'm making even more from old members that used to bump heads with me becaue within these years we actually got to know each other better.
So now I have even more friends than ever, even those I used to be at odds with are now my friends. That makes me very pleased!
During my duration here I have made only TWO enemys..Tekky and Black Mariah..I actually spoke to Kevin long ago in c/w offering a olive branch to Tekky so we can get over our personal whatever. I actaully don't know the guy and figured WTF why not..That offer was never taken. I'm not going into details of the scathing post I made earlier, some of you read it..I know this because I had numerous PMs, Phone Calls, and Emails ..30+ in all giving me mucho kudos for my veracious honesty..one extremely popular memeber, that we all know and love called me just to tell me he wants to have that post mounted on a plaque and hang it on his wall..ya silly bastid..you know who you are..You can step up on your own..
You see, I can be the nicest, most compasionate, loving person if there is an established mutal respect and like for each other. When I befreind someone there isn't a thing in the world I would'nt do for that person..I think people here know that, I get PMs asking for legal advice constantly and I'm always willing to help a friend in need or in distress..that is what friends are for..ask John about my uncondiotional loyalty towards a friend.
I also bought ever single member's band cd..all of them..so much talent on this board man..kudos to you..I should do a review of JCF memeber's bands alone..I supported each and every one of you!!!!
On the flip side, if I perceive an attack I go for the throat without mercy. I am the most vicious person that I know, When I go into the red, I take it to the extreme, and can't stop. When I was at work I had my partners constantly stopping my actions in fear I may kill a perp that was combative..they had to pshyically pull me off and restrain me. I am more fealess than ever before because I am in constant pain, so death is a relief..therfore I fear no man..what's he going to do "hurt" me..cool OK!
I'll say the sillest most digusting things at the most inapproproate places. I say whatever I want, to whoever I want, whenever I want..who will stop me...except for Uli Roth when he Shhhhhhhhh me when I screamed at him and broke his mo jo..but that's it.
I'm not at all intimidated by a person's stature , meaning authority, Judges, politcians or anyone of any importance..I can talk to them like I talk to some dork at Taco Bell..they look all the same to me.
I'm 100% Dago raise in a true Mafia family that acataually became a cop in the ghetto. I watched my father constantly beating the crap out of someone, it was just biz for him, his paycheck. I thought he was the coolest dad in the world because he got so much respect from everbody..John knows him well..he could vouch for my father..and I have my dad telling me that I take things too far..so I've surpassed my father in pure visciouness..now making me the most brutal person I know.. with that comes the respect he always got, he passed the torch to me and I carry it proudly.
So if you treat me with respect I will got to bat for your anytime, anywhere..John knows that well!!
If I get disrespect..I'll break that bat over your fuggin' skull without batting an eye...it means nothing to me..it's only biz!
This is my daily life ..the doctors say that I can't change because I have been programmed this way and I'm very in tuned to spot human garbage an act on it. Street smart..betweem my father and the police..I had both angles covered..that's how I know people so well, I can read 'em like a book!
So am I sorry for saying what I said..Nope, I meant every friggin' syllable..I'm always sincere whether bad or good..I can go either way..it just depends on you!
The only time I'm not sincere is when I'm bustin balls with my friends..Believe me, I much rather do that...
I'd much rather laugh these days..I'm getting a little too old for fighting these days..but I gotta admit, it sure feels great when I'm putting the boots to an asshole...it's a awesome rush!!
Again, I want to thank all the admins for doing a great job keeping things in check here..even if it comes to my temper. But I don't go off unless I feel violated or attacked..otherwise I'm a pretty happy, go lucky, silly, dickhead..you guys know that!!
So I'm her to stay, I'm not going anywhere..I love you gjys and I know you love me..you made that quite fucking clear today..If if wasn't for all your support and kind words I was ready to throw the towel..Fuck That!
Only Pussys quit!
WEll at least I don't have to wory about another 9/11 thread 'till next year..you know what..I'll think I'll pass on that one..I'll let all of yours get deleted next time!!
Hey, this is yours truly Bill Z, and I have some explaining to do. I think I owe you that!!
Hmmm, where to start..
OK I went into a complete tizzy..I was like an F5 muthafugga..destroying anything in my path without a give a damn..I actaully blacked out in rage when I saw my Bush thread gone..I said what I did with the intentions of leaving this place..but I'm not gonna do it!
Because of you guys, I received so many PMs, Phones calls, Emails, and numerous post at Bill's Home, I can not leave.
The support I got from you guys was overwhelming, I was touched..sounds mushy, but true!
I tried my hardest to keep my tribute thread respectful and as civil as possible. I was doing a pretty decent job keeping it in check until I went to bed, obviously in my three hours of sleep, the thread plunged into a downward spiral of crap..The admins had no choice to unplug it. That was exactly what I was trying to avoid. So when I woke up just a few hours later and saw it gone..I immediately went into the red. When I'm, in the red I say whatever comes out of my mouth without due care whatsoever.
I tried my best but I learned in life you can't stop morons from being morons..that's like telling a fish.."don't swim"..
What frosted my ass the most is some newbies who have no clue what I'm about telling me that I'm unfit to be a cop and that I'm a danger to society and blah blah blah..not having a clue what I sacrificed to help others and lost many peers along the way doing the same..not a good thing to tell a broken down , bitter disabled cop that wished he could still be with his boys taking care of the biz he grew to love so much..I take that as an attack, those are fighting words..a new memeber named "Stewie" basically said that (I PMd him and invited him to my thread)..a newbie without a clue who I am and what I've done..Then fellow UK memeber JJW used the word "Coward"..not a good word to use with me..I am the antithesis of that very word. I guess he didn't use it in that context but it's one of those "trigger" words that puts me in the red instantly!
Since I been here for almost 5 years I made some great friends, and I'm making even more from old members that used to bump heads with me becaue within these years we actually got to know each other better.
So now I have even more friends than ever, even those I used to be at odds with are now my friends. That makes me very pleased!
During my duration here I have made only TWO enemys..Tekky and Black Mariah..I actually spoke to Kevin long ago in c/w offering a olive branch to Tekky so we can get over our personal whatever. I actaully don't know the guy and figured WTF why not..That offer was never taken. I'm not going into details of the scathing post I made earlier, some of you read it..I know this because I had numerous PMs, Phone Calls, and Emails ..30+ in all giving me mucho kudos for my veracious honesty..one extremely popular memeber, that we all know and love called me just to tell me he wants to have that post mounted on a plaque and hang it on his wall..ya silly bastid..you know who you are..You can step up on your own..
You see, I can be the nicest, most compasionate, loving person if there is an established mutal respect and like for each other. When I befreind someone there isn't a thing in the world I would'nt do for that person..I think people here know that, I get PMs asking for legal advice constantly and I'm always willing to help a friend in need or in distress..that is what friends are for..ask John about my uncondiotional loyalty towards a friend.
I also bought ever single member's band cd..all of them..so much talent on this board man..kudos to you..I should do a review of JCF memeber's bands alone..I supported each and every one of you!!!!
On the flip side, if I perceive an attack I go for the throat without mercy. I am the most vicious person that I know, When I go into the red, I take it to the extreme, and can't stop. When I was at work I had my partners constantly stopping my actions in fear I may kill a perp that was combative..they had to pshyically pull me off and restrain me. I am more fealess than ever before because I am in constant pain, so death is a relief..therfore I fear no man..what's he going to do "hurt" me..cool OK!
I'll say the sillest most digusting things at the most inapproproate places. I say whatever I want, to whoever I want, whenever I want..who will stop me...except for Uli Roth when he Shhhhhhhhh me when I screamed at him and broke his mo jo..but that's it.
I'm not at all intimidated by a person's stature , meaning authority, Judges, politcians or anyone of any importance..I can talk to them like I talk to some dork at Taco Bell..they look all the same to me.
I'm 100% Dago raise in a true Mafia family that acataually became a cop in the ghetto. I watched my father constantly beating the crap out of someone, it was just biz for him, his paycheck. I thought he was the coolest dad in the world because he got so much respect from everbody..John knows him well..he could vouch for my father..and I have my dad telling me that I take things too far..so I've surpassed my father in pure visciouness..now making me the most brutal person I know.. with that comes the respect he always got, he passed the torch to me and I carry it proudly.
So if you treat me with respect I will got to bat for your anytime, anywhere..John knows that well!!
If I get disrespect..I'll break that bat over your fuggin' skull without batting an eye...it means nothing to me..it's only biz!
This is my daily life ..the doctors say that I can't change because I have been programmed this way and I'm very in tuned to spot human garbage an act on it. Street smart..betweem my father and the police..I had both angles covered..that's how I know people so well, I can read 'em like a book!
So am I sorry for saying what I said..Nope, I meant every friggin' syllable..I'm always sincere whether bad or good..I can go either way..it just depends on you!
The only time I'm not sincere is when I'm bustin balls with my friends..Believe me, I much rather do that...
I'd much rather laugh these days..I'm getting a little too old for fighting these days..but I gotta admit, it sure feels great when I'm putting the boots to an asshole...it's a awesome rush!!
Again, I want to thank all the admins for doing a great job keeping things in check here..even if it comes to my temper. But I don't go off unless I feel violated or attacked..otherwise I'm a pretty happy, go lucky, silly, dickhead..you guys know that!!
So I'm her to stay, I'm not going anywhere..I love you gjys and I know you love me..you made that quite fucking clear today..If if wasn't for all your support and kind words I was ready to throw the towel..Fuck That!
Only Pussys quit!
WEll at least I don't have to wory about another 9/11 thread 'till next year..you know what..I'll think I'll pass on that one..I'll let all of yours get deleted next time!!
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