Fatal car accidents

[fett]

and memorials. I live a few miles north of Seattle. This is a rural area with 2 lane undivded roads. There are no sidewalks and just drainage ditches on the sides of the road. Last week, the road I used to go to the fleamarket was closed due to an accident. Apparently, someone bit the big one. The reason I know this is there is a tree with all kinds of photos on it and a cross in the ditch. Call me old and insensitive, but I just don't get why people do that. It's like "The thing to do". To me, it's just another indication of the projecting feelings so far away from where they should be. People are thowing feelings around so much that they lose real meaning.

[FusionFarmer]

you can't drive down any rural road around here without seeing a white cross next to road, one just a mile or so away has a baseball cap on it. whatever helps people get thru their grief, I guess

[stevieb91]

There are tons of them around here.One has a teddy bear that was white 6 months ago,another has a cross that is about 10 feet tall(made of 4x4 complete with deck post caps),and a lot of small crosses,mostly decorated with ribbons.

I am all for the grieving and recovery,but some of these border on major distractions for drivers.

[Firebird V]

I guess that is everywhere. In my towm there is a Wall that a 17 year old hit doing 80 or so MPH. He was driving late at night. Football. Lacrosse. Town pool lifegaurd. His Football # was 72. He would have been a senior this year. The wall is spray painted now with messages. Footballs. Jerseys. HS Spirit slogans,pom poms, helmets... etc. All on top of the wall and ground surrounding the point of impact. Last month or so we started to see magnets in the shape of a football in the school colors with the # 72 in the middle.

For the first month there was a big electronic sign that read, "Caution, Mourning pedestrians ahead or something like that.

Cops parked on the side and orange barricades along the roadside...

I never met him I have no clue who anyone is that knew him, his friends or his family.

My point is that it doesnt bother me one bit. If it helps his friends and family get through a time that will be tough for them every day for the rest of their lives than I am cool with it.

Lighten up. You only go this way once.

[fett]

You are right. The place where this person bought it is up a small hill with a small curve and the memorial catches the eye. In daylight it's nothing. At night, a driver could easily be destracted and end up in a ditch just up the road. What bothers me is the "TV" type hype that makes this "Normal". I guess, I am old school. When I was going into 7th grade, 1962, an friend of mine was messing with a tractor and it flipped over and killed him. To me it was sad, but he was just dead and that was that. We just went on. I am not a cold hearted bastard. But, this wholesale mourning has me stumpted.

[Firebird V]

yeah. and then there would be a memmorial for that person there. and then that would make someone crash and then there would be a memmorial for that person there and so on and so on and.... before you knew it, the road will be one giant flower stand....

[JACKSONFREAK]

There's a ton of the road side memorials here too. One in front of a church. With a 3ft white cross and stuffed animals and flowers etc... It is kinda distracting but its also at a stop light. But across the intersection so kind of out of readable view. I undersand why people do it. It's the memorial where their loved one died. Its kind of like the military when a Sailor dies at sea. He's sent to Davey Jones locker. I dont know if this is still in practice or if its only during war time But it was at one time. It's the spot where that persons heart was last beating and its a specail place to those who loved and knew that person. There's one here just off the highway (I290) at roosevelt rd. off ramp. Its kinda distracting where it is but its a pretty wide lane there so its not as bad as it could be. Luckly its on the small side.
Gil

[fett]

I can't win this one but I just don't think those memorials are appropriate.

[VitaminG]

if I drop dead at my desk, will my family be allowed to erect a memorial in my office? All my friends & family can file through the security screens and drop wreaths where I used to sit.

I see those roadside crosses all over here. I don't really 'get' it, but if it helps people grieve, then they can have at it.

Although, if someone I love was killed, I would rather spend time visiting places that had some kind of resonance for them, like a special retreat or hideaway or landmark of significance in their life, rather than turning the place that they died into some kind of mecca. The friends & family of the dead footballer would be better setting up something at his high school football or lacrosse field, where they can celebrate his short life. The place where he died is only ever going to be a place of mourning.

[markb]

Very european... seems to be spreading over here. Roads in europe are littered with these little shrines, more or less depending on the country. Some areas I figured they must be really bad drivers, so many of them. I see it more and more now in north america. I don't know who they're for I guess. It's not like I'm going to stop and go read a plaque or something. Maybe theyre actually buried there. Is the grass growing a bit better in the immediate area?

[fett]

The last time I checked, that's why they have funerals. Nice touch with the grass growing better.:ROTF:

[lerxstcat]

I don't think it's appropriate to tell others how to express their grief. There are a number of such memorials around here and as long as it doesn't block the road or the view of it the complainers have no gripe.

You may as well say that 7-11 on the side of the road is a distraction and made you run off the road. Keep your eyes on the road and don't looky-lou just so you can complain about it later. Then you won't wreck and you'll be happy. I hope none of you would ever tell a family member or friend of a victim in such a situation that what they did was inappropriate; that would be very cruel.

[texasfury]

.

[Misanthrope189]

I understand fett's feelings, and I do agree that it seems those emotions are misplaced. I also think that the military has a different idea; those service men and women who die at sea or in the sky loved what they did, they loved the ships, the jets, the submarines, the cargo planes...it was their passion, something they chose to do, knowing they could die doing it at any moment, and accepted that. I don't think that because I was driving home late one night and wrecked, the place I should be best known is a ditch on the side of the road. Build me a shrine in my room with my guitars, my amps, my tools and my books. Don't put a cross up with the wrecked gas tank of my harley next to the interstate where I was killed. It does seem separated.

Like VitaminG said, the football field would be more appropriate for that teenager. If I was a NASCAR racer, drag racer or something of the sort, maybe the race track would be great. But all those have special meaning because it meant something to me, and I died doing what I love. A tragic roadside incident seems to me, as though that cross shows my memorial is most appropriate in a ditch in nowhere land.

Cheers,
Nick

[fett]

First off, I would never ever tell someone that how they expressed their grief was inappropriate.. That's a personal matter. What I don't understand is the overt and rather dramatic expression of these memorials at a crash site. I guess, I'm just old and don't understand why there has to be a grave there.