Married Humor

[GWARGHOUL]

Yeah, that was kinda funny, but really in our relationship, we go out to bars with each other. I have a little bit of an issue with "girls night" without me, but its all good because I know I can go out to a bar with my buds just as well.

Thanks Ron.

[Bengal65]

That sounds funny, although I never go in bars anymore. It's been about 20 years for me:ROTF:

[skorb]

Here's one to try on the wife:
You come home from a hard days work and the little lady starts up with all her complaints about the kids getting into trouble or her mother giving her a hard time etc. Hold up your hand and say "Sweetheart, sweetheart, you know I'd really love to hear all about your day but this cock isn't going to suck itself."

[St.James]

Well, it was kind of funny, but ol Ron still gets a "A" for trying. At least he tried to make people laugh as opposed to posting dumb shit to try and start trouble on the board.

[RacerX]

I was kinda hoping everybody else might contribute a joke, too!

Maybe next thread

[VitaminG]

they say marriage is a lot like eating out at a restaurant.

You're very happy with what you ordered until you see what the guy at the next table is eating, and then you wished you'd ordered that instead.

[St.James]

Marriage is like a tornado. There's a lot of blowing and sucking at first, but when it's over you lose your house.

[St.James]

I heard Gene Simmons say something like, marriage is an institution you have to be committed to. You'd have to be crazy to do it...

[drockilles]

Something my wife does semi-jokingly, not funny to me but some of you might relate:
Several times when I've asked my wife to get me a beer, she's punched me in the legs. Then she asks "Did you feel that?" Pissed off, I'll say yes, to which she replies; "Well I guess they still work, get your own fucking beer."

[atomic charvel guy]

I don't agree, the girls in B.C.B. are hotter than the girl in that picture by a mile, but I don't care what she looks like, if she's a raging bitch, you'll leave Cindy Cawford in the end. It's a fact, or else you have no spine.

[micha]

Something my wife does semi-jokingly, not funny to me but some of you might relate:
Several times when I've asked my wife to get me a beer, she's punched me in the legs. Then she asks "Did you feel that?" Pissed off, I'll say yes, to which she replies; "Well I guess they still work, get your own fucking beer."

that's a good one!!

[Shawn Lutz]

I never understand why people get married to someone who wants to control them or tell them what they can or cannot do. I don't care how hot the box is, I'm going to do what I'm gonna do when and how I want to do it. I've been with my wife since 87 sure, I dont go out and chase tail like I used to or be unfaithful but I'm not dead and still like to have fun, most of the time w/o her .

The way some people talk about their spouses is pretty funny...it reminds me of parenting children. I remember my parents layin down the law when I was a kid, no way in hell my freedom will be hindered by my wife.
grow some balls, be respectful each other, do what you want, trust each other and have a happy marriage, worked for me so far....

[OnlineStageGear]

Why go to a bar when you can have a mechanical bull at home. Next time you are making love to the wife, use one arm to grab around her (hold tight) and the other to gently caress her breast. Doggy style works best. While you are doing that, ask her "Do you like that, because your mom sure did"...

Have a nice ride

[toejam]

Why go to a bar when you can have a mechanical bull at home. Next time you are making love to the wife, use one arm to grab around her (hold tight) and the other to gently caress her breast. Doggy style works best. While you are doing that, ask her "Do you like that, because your mom sure did"...

Have a nice ride

Bwahahahaha!!!!! :ROTF:

[horns666]

Married almost 19 years..nothing funny about it..

as much as I love the little one..sometimes I wanna go "The Shining" on her ass!!!