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  • worrying what life is

    I know everyone here thinks they know me

    but I have to come clean

    Yes, i'm sick with a cronich desise that'll probaly end my life by I'm 30

    My whole life I was sick with a desise that attacked my intenal orgons

    when i was 14 i had a liver transplant and ever sense than I have been living on the edge


    Only 2 or 3 people know what I've been up to

    I've been at the past few months ready to see that I'm gone
    Know one can stop me at the lifestyle i"m living

    The Drugs
    the booze

    I have no regrests in 24 years

    I've lived how i want to and know one else can stop me





    Now I'm wondering who I'm friends with and that;s why I've been abanst from here

    So don't cry for me, I'm here for my self
    I've fallen, Fallen through. If I'm Not With you, All I wanna Do Is Feel blue

  • #2
    Wow, Donnie, I had no idea. It's good you're living life to the fullest. I had a good friend who had diabetes since he was a little kid, he just went and did whatever, whenever, he died in '99 after going into a diabetic coma, he was 29, but he did live a good and active life. I hope things look up and you can live a lot longer, man.
    I feel my soul go cold... only the dead are smiling.

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    • #3
      Not that I'm looking for attention, but people wonder why I go out for periods of time


      and right now after what I had to go thru in auguest me and everyone ones were seeing the final days
      I've fallen, Fallen through. If I'm Not With you, All I wanna Do Is Feel blue

      Comment


      • #4
        Donnie, I have had to face my mortality too, with the heart condition, diabetes, stroke, etc... It's good for your internal peace to accept your mortality but that doesn't mean you don't fight to live. When I went into the hospital with heart failure 8-1/2 years ago, my prognosis was poor. I thought I wouldn't see the next year and now it's close to 10 years.

        I've had a stroke since then and I walk with a limp but I'm still walking and talking, and even playing guitar, if only about 75% of what I had before the stroke. That is the one that made me want to die for awhile, losing the only edge I had in life, but I got past that too. Life is sweet. Enjoy it as long as you can, fight while you can have a quality of life.

        Prove the docs wrong, the longer you endure the better chance that a cure or a better treatment will be developed. You have a big heart and people here care about you. I will pray for you and send you all positive vibes that I can, because I understand what you're going through to an extent. It's not exactly the same thing, but close enough to understand.

        Take care, my friend!

        Rich
        Ron is the MAN!!!!

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        • #5
          I never knew, Donnie. I'm very sorry to hear that.

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          • #6
            bro. doctors don't know everything, because science isn't so advanced right now to see all the facts. You can live a lot longer if you want to. Giving up is the worst thing that man can do. It's in your mind. Most of the deseases exist because people can't controll their minds. Stress, depression, bad thoughts etc. can cause a disease, this is a fact. Buddhist monks are meditating to get the deases out of their body, they are just ereasing the desease in their mind. And they are healthy as hell because of that, this is no BS. I know these things very well. It all seems like a mambo-jambo crap, but as I said science can't see everything yet, but it is scientifically explainable.

            Loose the booze and drugs. You can have a lot of great time without them. There is something wrong with people who can't have a good time without the help of narcotics. Those people aren't really fun if they need help to be one.

            And seek help from alternative medicine, it can do wonders.
            And remember to have the right mindset.
            "There is nothing more fearful than imagination without taste" - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

            "To be stupid, selfish and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost" - Gustave Flaubert

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            • #7
              Damn Donnie, way to drop a bombshell.:ROTF: j/k

              I am very sorry to hear this, as I had no idea. Keep your chin up and continue living life to the fullest.
              Scott
              Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright, that God may love thee. Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong.

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              • #8
                Attitude is everything Donnie....don't give up ok? You're fucking YOUNG man! Fight it with everything you have! And yes, look into alternative medicine.
                I wish you the best bro.
                My goal in life is to be the kind of asshole my wife thinks I am.

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                • #9
                  I'm sorry to hear that Donnie. I echo what Rich says about not giving up. Once you accept the fact people dont live forever (some longer than others) its easier to deal with. Focus on living and enjoying the ride, its not how far the ride is, its what you experience along the way, make the best of it.

                  The mind and spirit are powerful things and can overcome anything if you work on it. Don't give up, medical science is proven wrong time and time again. I have a friend who had Lukemia, he was close to death several times,he had chemo that nearly killed him too. He's in his early 30's and looked like 60 year old in a wheelchair. He's not supposed to be here and the his Doctors even said so, they gave him around 20% chance when he was first diagnosed. His dad even called a couple times while he was in the hosiptal saying the doctors told him he wouldnt live to see the next day. Guess what? They were wrong, Chris is alive and well and looks like his old self after about a 2 year battle that science said he couldnt win, but he did. I belive it had nothing to do with science and everything to do with spirituality, will, and desire to live.

                  I know religion gets its ass kicked around here but I'm a firm believer in it. There is something powerful that happens when you recieve prayer from those around you who care about you. I'm not bible waving nutcase, just a believer who prays daily and never goes to church. My religion is between myself, my maker and his son. I'm glad you told us this so those of us who do pray will pray for you to knock the shit outta whatever you have and to keep you with us for along time. I know theres the folks who say if there is a God why did this happen, why did God take so and so from us so soon etc but the way I look at it is these people were ready to meet their maker and "graduate" to a higher level of existence or exterminated and damned to hell.

                  I know its easy for everyone to say remain positive and keep hope alive but you HAVE to and not give up. You have to fight for it life just as you have to fight everyday in this world to keep your sanity. Mind over matter...if ya dont mind it dont matter Try to remain positive and be prepared to battle....you can win if you set your mind and spirt to it.
                  Last edited by Shawn Lutz; 10-02-2006, 09:00 AM.
                  shawnlutz.com

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                  • #10
                    Donnie, had no idea bro. There's a great deal of good advice already in this thread. Don't give up, keep livin life!

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                    • #11
                      I was shot in the head when I was 23. I died on the operating table for a little over a minute, although I remember everthing and I never thought I was dead. I remember laying there thinking "I can't die, I'm wide awake." Yeah, I know, that didn't make any sense but that's what I was thinking. I have a plate in my head now and no feeling in the top right hand side. But I also feel I have a greater understanding of everything now.

                      My advice to you is this.... If you give up, you're already gone. Don't give up Donnie, NEVER give up.

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                      • #12
                        We're all here for you man. Let me know if I can help in any way.

                        POWER OF POSITIVE THOUGHT IS STRONG !!!!!!!!

                        ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT !!!!!!

                        Long live Donnie and the JCF !!!!!

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                        • #13
                          Donnie, man I been MIA all weekend so I missed this..

                          Sorry to hear this..I ponder my mortality as a relief of my relenteless, constant pain..that will only worsen with time. I have everything a man could ask for. This pain impedes my ability to count the blessings I earned and gave to myself. I can NOT truly enjoy them without heavy sedation..this is fact!

                          My family enjoys the fruits of my labor and goals..which is what counts most to me. If it wasn't for them, I would not be here, and that's the truth!!

                          I have some years left in me that won't burden those I cherish..and I never will..I'll ensure that!!

                          Until then I'll grab whatever I can from this life and "try" to put a smile on my face ..at least for their sake..but it's really just a facade at this point..fuggit!

                          My job is to make certain my son takes the right path in life and carry my torch..but only better!!

                          Do what you must to seek comfort..it's YOUR life..the only one you have IMO,.. believe in yourself!!

                          Live it..I know you do..and always will.

                          Your the goods dude, those words don't come often from me about people in general..in fact , I actually loathe the majority of them.

                          Donnie, Live it..like a motherfucker!!

                          Life is just a series of moments..so make the best of them.

                          Bill Z Bub
                          "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                          Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                          "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

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                          • #14
                            Damn dude, that sux. I sure hope you make it a lot longer than 30.

                            Matt

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                            • #15
                              Just in case anyone wants to know

                              What I've had my whole life has been a Chronic Deseise that attacks my body, My imune system is like Superman and attacks my whole body

                              I was 8 when I was diognositc, from there till I was 14 it was Hard

                              I've spent probally 2 years of my life in the hospitel

                              In the past few months I've had evry Dr. ask if I want another transplant and I say no, because I want another Kid to enjoy life like I have the past 10 years
                              I've fallen, Fallen through. If I'm Not With you, All I wanna Do Is Feel blue

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