No Soliciting

[Child Of Norther]

I was once at a friend's house, he was in the john, and the doorbell goes.

Two Jehovas witnesses...


I yell "MAN! IT'S SOME JEHOVAS WITNESSES!" Up the stairs

He yells back

"HOLD ON! I'LL GET THE GUN!"

Man, they left. HAhaha

[VitaminG]

I honestly have not seen one since we moved into this house last year.

but even when I did occasionally encounter one doorknocking, I just don't have the energy to fuck with these people's heads. I just tell them I'm not interested. I'm not rude, but I don't pretend to listen to what they have to say, and if they keep talking I just reiterate that I'm not interested. If after the second time they keep pitching their god at me, I tell them one last time I'm not interested and close the door on them. Lookin' at 30 seconds, maybe 60 tops.

I used to have some fun with them before fucking them off, but now I just couldn't be bothered.

[Joe_Steeler]

Every Saturday morning they hit our house... pain in the ass.

One Saturday I was installing a water softener and I had the garage door open, so I said what the fuck talk to me and I let them do their spill.
One of them fucks got me distracted, for a fraction of a second, and I glued the wrong PVC fitting on the wrong pipe.
Had to cut the pipe and go to Home Depot for another fitting because I wanted to be a nice guy.
They are pushy as hell.

[St.James]

I had this man and woman, older people, knock on my door one day and ask for me by name, first and last. I immediately knew what they were all about, but what pissed me off is they knew my name.

I'm a bit pissy when someone I don't know knocks on my door anyway. Unless it's a hot chick or pizza delivery... Or a hot chick with pizza and beer, but anyway...

I had these Mormon missionaries come by once. They were actually more interested in hearing my mormon history lesson and why I wasn't interested in it than they were in telling me all of the glorious benefits I'd gain giving money to their church.

[Rich#6]

Whenever anyone comes to my door trying to solicit shit I answer the door and tell them I am not interested and I can't here them because my dogs are barking so loud I can't here them. Works out well since they can see the dogs trying to get at them.
I did have one come to my door and ring the bell twice, not just ding dong, but ding ding ding ding ding. Twice like that. Then he started pounding on the door. Opened the door it was an old man and a kid and I let out a nice big FUCK OFF and I closed the door. Made me feel better.

[SouthPlatteDemon]

I have my girlfriend scream, "Someone's trying to break in!"
Then I come running with a baseball bat.
The look on there face when I rip the door open is priceless.

Especially if they are grade school kids selling cookie dough.

[Jack The Riffer]

I once told a group of them that if I wanted them on my property I would have planted Cotton.

[SouthPlatteDemon]

I once told a group of them that if I wanted them on my property I would have planted Cotton.

Who are the "them" you are referring to?

[Jack The Riffer]

Jehovah's Witnesses of course.

[Top Jimmy B]

:ROTF: of course.

[hippietim]

I don't want any religious zombies anywhere near my home or my family. I chase those fuckers away as fast as I can. I don't care what superstitions people want to believe in, just don't try and make me or mine listen to that drivel.

[hammer84]

I have actually have had some very good conversations with a few of them. I'm not an overly religious person but I do take interest in others beliefs. So far no Jedi mind tricks have caused me to run a muck and speak in tongues.

I guess tolerance is not high on a lot of people's list.

[toejam]

Who are the "them" you are referring to?

Grandma, who are "they"?

Never mind, you dirty little brat!

[Inazone]

There's a band around here (and probably others elsewhere) called Jehovah's Shitlist. Maybe it would be worth having one of their shirts near the front door, to throw on when the JWs stop by.

"Already on the list, thanks."

[atomic charvel guy]

It's marshall law with me when they show up.
Marshalls to 10, and they promptly make tracks quickly.