Long winded and I apologize.
I have a guy named Kelly working for me at our Polaris Dealership as lot manager; a loyal, hardworking, guy. He's a PITA because he never stops talking but he is a good worker. Kelly's job is to clean the machines daily, organize them on the lot, and to put them away at night...he also runs all the errands the staff up there has. Our inventory is fairly large, so he's a busy guy and feels the need to come in an hour early each day. He works 7 -6, six days per week.
Over the few months I have been getting calls from our security company telling me that the alarm has been deactivated as early as 5am, on a regular basis. I ask Kelly what the deal is and he says, "I figured if I was up, I should be working." That's a good answer, but it smelled funny - I've been around hourly wage lot staff for a long time and have never met one who wanted to work off the clock.
So, I ask the security company to put a camera in the bay so I can see what's going on in early in the morning. I let it roll for thirty days and yesterday I reviewed the tapes. Guess what? He's working his ass off - all day every day. He gets in at five and doesn't punch in until seven, just like he said.
However, the tape did let me see that he has been smoking in the building. Indoor smoking is banned here in NS, so I figured this was the time to have some fun with him.
I called him into my office this morning and said, "Kelly, I need to let you know that we have a little problem. Have you been smoking in the shop while you're doing your work?" "No, no, I haven't. I wouldn't do that."
"Well, I had a camera installed last month to see what's going on in the building and I'd like to give you an opportunity to change your answer"
"Jim, I swear, I have never smoked in the building"
"Kelly, take a look at this" - I hit play and there he is puffing away like a chimney. "You've been smoking everyday and you know that smoking is banned in all buildings. This could cost be big money in fines if the bylaw inspector comes around" He apologizes and promises not to do it again. He's thinking his job is in jeopardy at this point.
Now, the fun begins because I have him on the ropes. :ROTF: With the remote for the vcr in my hands I ask him, in my most serious boss guy voice..."Kelly, I have a personal question to ask you and I need the truth"
He starts to squirm and gives me the go ahead.
"Have you been masturbating in the building?" He starts to scratch his head, looks at the remote, then the tv, then at me.
The poor bastard did the same, scratch head, remote, camera, me, dance for literally three minutes without saying a word. Finally, he says "Jim, I don't know how to answer that question." :ROTF:
Luckily, the phone rings and I tell him to get out and we will finish this later. About twenty minutes later, after pissing myself in my office with laughter one of the other guys comes in and says...
"Kelly told me that he may have to quit. I asked him why and he wouldn't answer but he wanted to know if you put a camera in the restroom." :ROTF: :ROTF:
I let him off the hook just ten minutes ago.
I have a guy named Kelly working for me at our Polaris Dealership as lot manager; a loyal, hardworking, guy. He's a PITA because he never stops talking but he is a good worker. Kelly's job is to clean the machines daily, organize them on the lot, and to put them away at night...he also runs all the errands the staff up there has. Our inventory is fairly large, so he's a busy guy and feels the need to come in an hour early each day. He works 7 -6, six days per week.
Over the few months I have been getting calls from our security company telling me that the alarm has been deactivated as early as 5am, on a regular basis. I ask Kelly what the deal is and he says, "I figured if I was up, I should be working." That's a good answer, but it smelled funny - I've been around hourly wage lot staff for a long time and have never met one who wanted to work off the clock.
So, I ask the security company to put a camera in the bay so I can see what's going on in early in the morning. I let it roll for thirty days and yesterday I reviewed the tapes. Guess what? He's working his ass off - all day every day. He gets in at five and doesn't punch in until seven, just like he said.
However, the tape did let me see that he has been smoking in the building. Indoor smoking is banned here in NS, so I figured this was the time to have some fun with him.
I called him into my office this morning and said, "Kelly, I need to let you know that we have a little problem. Have you been smoking in the shop while you're doing your work?" "No, no, I haven't. I wouldn't do that."
"Well, I had a camera installed last month to see what's going on in the building and I'd like to give you an opportunity to change your answer"
"Jim, I swear, I have never smoked in the building"
"Kelly, take a look at this" - I hit play and there he is puffing away like a chimney. "You've been smoking everyday and you know that smoking is banned in all buildings. This could cost be big money in fines if the bylaw inspector comes around" He apologizes and promises not to do it again. He's thinking his job is in jeopardy at this point.
Now, the fun begins because I have him on the ropes. :ROTF: With the remote for the vcr in my hands I ask him, in my most serious boss guy voice..."Kelly, I have a personal question to ask you and I need the truth"
He starts to squirm and gives me the go ahead.
"Have you been masturbating in the building?" He starts to scratch his head, looks at the remote, then the tv, then at me.
The poor bastard did the same, scratch head, remote, camera, me, dance for literally three minutes without saying a word. Finally, he says "Jim, I don't know how to answer that question." :ROTF:
Luckily, the phone rings and I tell him to get out and we will finish this later. About twenty minutes later, after pissing myself in my office with laughter one of the other guys comes in and says...
"Kelly told me that he may have to quit. I asked him why and he wouldn't answer but he wanted to know if you put a camera in the restroom." :ROTF: :ROTF:
I let him off the hook just ten minutes ago.
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