Unfukkenbelievable!

[442w30]

I got back from a trip two weeks ago and never finished unpacking. Was a good guy the whole trip, drank some hung out at a few pubs and came home unscathed.

Wife helps me pack for a getaway this weekend and finds a pair of used crusty-crotched pantyhose in my bag with my used socks. There is no explanation for this! Can this happen with checked baggage as a joke? Mixup? Wife is pissed!!! Ican't blame her, but I have no explanation, am not a cross dresser, and didn't even black out on the trip.

Any ideas?

[quakana]

WOE!! Was the trip just yourself or with your wife as well. Good luck figuring that one out.....Luuuuccccyyyy you gotta lotta esplainin to dooooo
On a serious note. I would have no idea how that would happen is it your luggage just with these new items in it?

[LesPaulCustom]

Could one of your "friends" have set you up??

That's a fucked up joke for a dude who's marrried or with someone.

Good luck bro....

[dannyr]

Wow!!! I have no idea how that could happen, but I'm sure it's not going to be easy to smoothe things over with the wife. Good luck bro!

[toejam]

am not a cross dresser

Suuuure you're not!

Might as well tell the wife you are, so that'll get you off the hook. :ROTF:

[442w30]

Wife wasn't with me on the trip, and the only person that stayed in my room was my brother who we went out with one night. He's 5'11" 265, these couldn't have been on him at the time (small size) and the crust is "feminine". I nearly barfed when she called me in to look at it. I had just finished my 3rd beer and 3rd slice of Pizza when this broke loose.

I am dumbfounded, and I like some f'd up jokes. The guys I was with on the trip didn't have access to this stuff and weren't near my bag. No women in the entourage.

It's crazy. Had to be the airline I guess, but how?

[442w30]

Yeah, aside from the disgusting jizz stain, I would have just been smooth and said, I was trying something new.

[toejam]

Maybe they were inspecting your luggage at the same time as somebody else's and just got things mixed up somehow? Very strange.

[VinceV]

Oh Man!!! My wife just read this thread, and the 1st thing she said was lying fucker(she is a woman). I was like "well then why would he post it here?", she told me your just looking for anykind of excuse. "Look baby If I did anything, why would I post it on this thread?" Dude, I say this with regret, but you are screwed. I have been married almost 10 years and if I came back with stuff like that in my luggage, I couldn't even imagine the hell I would get. I almost got sick myself reading your thread. The only way I could think you might have a way out, is to get the pantyhose DNA tested. Goodluck, unless one of your friends did it as a messed up joke, but you will still have a hard time getting your wife to buy that if it is true.

[danastas]

Did you have a Federal inspection tag on your luggage?

There's an orange sticker they put on there.

[VitaminG]

did you send any clothes to be washed on your trip? It's possible that when returning your clothes, they've inadvertently snagged someone's dirty hose when they picked up your clean stuff and if you just dumped them in your bag, you'd be none the wiser at the time.

Of course, even if that is what happened, it doesn't help you explain it away to the wife.

[442w30]

No dice on the sticker, I called my boss who was one of two people I was there with other than by brother (he wouldn't do it as a joke) and none of them budged. The other guy is someone I just started working with, but have known professionally for 5 years. He's not a jokey guy.

Oh well, I married my wife for a reason, this will test her "understanding" for sure. So far, all she's said is "hope you wore a condom". I kinda think my reaction - utter shock, but not in a busted way, more of a WTF! may be the only thing helping.

I guess I just need to ignore the situation and not dwell on it too much. It's gonna come back to me everytime a girl w/pantyhose gets near us/me for the rest of my life though.

Wife's actually been pretty cool about it....oddly.

[442w30]

G, I did send my first night's stuff off to the hotel wash - and it was in Washington DC - those people were stupid (not DCers, the desk people). I gotta recreate that first night, was I wearing the black socks that were in the same pocket with the hose? If so, I might be able to piece it together in my own mind at least. It'd be nice to have a plausible explanation.

[finnman]

I think it was a joke played on you.
Show your wife this story.

Three of us at work went on a trip for some classes for work.
My friend and I went to a sex shop the day before and bought a big dildo to sneak into the other guys carry-on.
My friend kept him busy while I slipped it in his carry-on before getting to the airport.
When he went through security they searched his bag.
It was right on top of his stuff.
The look on his face when they opened his bag and right on top was
a big hanken dong.
Security didn't flinch, they did there search and he was on his way.
He tryed a few times while on the trip to sneak it back in my carry-on.

[buzzsaww]

Finnman, good prank, lol

Rollie, Hang in there hopefully things work out for the better. Women keep a scorecard though and you will never live that down. Though they expect loads of leeway in return.