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My wife tried to kill me last night.

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  • My wife tried to kill me last night.

    I had just got home from band practice, and left 2 of my guitars sitting by the door in their cases. I was planning on moving them after I had a sit down, check my email, drink a beer, etc. However, my wife had invited some people over and simply couild not wait 10 minutes, and had to nag me until I got up to move them. No big deal though. I grab the guitars and my crate of cords and shit, and head for the basement. I'm on probably the 2nd stair down, when I step on something that slides under my foot. Down I go, shit flies everywhere, and I end up on my ass at the bottom. I'm pissed off like you wouldn't believe, and find what caused my fall. A goddamn broom. My wife had left a fucking broom on the stairs. I have no words to describe the ultimate degree of stupidity that would allow someone to do such a thing. The next thing on my mind is my guitars. Fortunately, one of them lands on top of the laundry hamper, a nice soft landing. The Weddington is lying in the middle of the laundry room floor. I can see from where I'm standing that the bottom of the case is bashed in pretty severely, and I get that sick feeling in my stomach. I open up the case (with difficulty since it's so messed up, the latches are stuck) and at first glimpse, there is no damage. The headstock is at least still attached. I examine it closely, and somehow, it survived the impact without so much as a scratch. I played it for a few hours this morning, and it's not hurt at all.

    My ass hurts like hell, I'm covered in bruises, and my back feels pretty fucked up, but at least the guitars are okay.

    In case you're wondering, my wife did not end up in the hospital.
    Sleep!!, That's where I'm a viking!!

    http://www.myspace.com/grindhouseadtheband

  • #2
    Umm wow

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    • #3
      OUCH.... good to hear that nothing serious happened, bro

      Comment


      • #4
        I do that everyday..
        "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
        Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

        "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

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        • #5
          It puts a new twist on "Dust My Broom". I hope you own her for a few days. That could have turned out to be a very nasty fall. Good to hear you're OK. Kinda.
          I am a true ass set to this board.

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          • #6
            Zeegs, all I can say is, she'd better be waiting on you hand and foot until your last ache disappears. And not with an attitude, either!
            Ron is the MAN!!!!

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            • #7
              Hehe, thanks guys. She was freaking out when it happened, and asking if I was okay. I said "never mind me, what about the fucking guitars?" :ROTF:
              Sleep!!, That's where I'm a viking!!

              http://www.myspace.com/grindhouseadtheband

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              • #8
                Milk it. Boy. Milk it. It could have been worse. My dau-in-law slipped on the stairs and went to the doctor. She was OK. And then the doctor said; "By the way. Did you know you are pregnant?":ROTF: :ROTF: :ROTF: :ROTF:
                I am a true ass set to this board.

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                • #9
                  Wow, that's just messed up. Why can't people just ask for a divorce anymore? They always gotta end up on Nancy Grace with the "Divorce By Murder" story.

                  Sheesh, God Bless ya, pal, if you got one that's trying to kill ya like that.
                  I want to depart this world the same way I arrived; screaming and covered in someone else's blood

                  The most human thing we can do is comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

                  My Blog: http://newcenstein.com

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                  • #10
                    You should have looked before going down the stairs.Always expect the unexpected.
                    Really? well screw Mark Twain.

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                    • #11
                      trust no-one, especially the wife
                      Fuck ebay, fuck paypal

                      "Finger on the trigger, back against the wall. Counting rounds and voices, not enough to kill them all" (Ihsahn).

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by wilkinsi View Post
                        trust no-one, especially the wife
                        +1 - I always have the cats taste test dinner before I eat it just in case its poisoned.

                        Every time I buy a guitar a cat dies.
                        Guitars:
                        '04 Jackson SL1 - Flametop Cabo Blue Trans Burst
                        '94 Charvel Predator - Fire Crackle
                        '77 Ibanez LP Custom Copy - Black
                        Amp:
                        VOX AD30VT

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                        • #13
                          When the wife gets done flying on the broom, tell her to put it in the closet and not on the steps!
                          I feel my soul go cold... only the dead are smiling.

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                          • #14
                            funny how you care about your guitars more than youself :P
                            i understand.. i wouldnt mind breaking a hand or a leg as long as my guitars are okay
                            If the crowd is shouting for an encore, but the sound guy is shaking his head, ignore him and play anyway

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                            • #15
                              That happens to me on a nightly basis, I trip all over the froggin floor on toys, puzzle pieces and giant lego blocks.
                              My ankles are shot, one hip hurts like a sonnabitch and my lower back is beyond repair.
                              Take two Naproxen Sodium and go to bed old man.
                              Mr. Patience.... ask for a free consultation.

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