Thinking about a divorce...

[Reverend Timmy]

Amen,Newc.I wish I could have had the insight you guys have dropped on Gwarghoul when I was swimmin in it with my first wife.Some good advice has been laid out here...................................

[fett]

Don't go home. Go find a motel for a few days and let it chill out a bit. The last thing you need is a blow-up on either side. Stay away.

[GWARGHOUL]

No $$$$

[Nuclear Vampire]

cheated on me

I hate to sound insensitive to what you're going through, but this would be cause for divorce right off the bat. Nevermind disappointing the family, they should understand and accept your choices, whatever they may be. Talk to a lawyer first about covering your ass financially. Best of luck, dude. I hope things get better for you.

[fett]

No $$$$

Sleep in your car. The last thing you need now, based on what you have posted, is to be together. The potential for things both of you will regret would prompt me to be as far away as possible.

[RacerX]

Was she super-duper bitchy but a pornstar in bed? Cause if she was then we're talking about the same girl.

Nope, that's my ex! :ROTF:

[fett]

I kinda think he's really looking for help and not wisecracks. There seems to be a lot of threads that are posted by members who really need to have a place to talk about personal situations. And that includes me. I think we should show respect to the members who trust us to be there for them. The thread writer should indicate by his or her's responses whether wisecracks should be made. Boy, did I find a soapbox!!!!!

[5074charvel]

There´s a proverb here in Germany that doesnt´t really translate but it goes like this: Rather a horrible ending than neverending horror. I wish I had taken it into account a few times.

Anyway, as it was said here before, issues of that kind are too complex to be fully discussed through posts. There might be ways to work out for a sustainable relationship for you and your wife. If you had asked in this thread, if someone ever regretted to have left someone he or she loved I guess there would have been some.

If you´re already on your way out to a possible divorce - as your last posts may indicate - then my advice is to talk to a lawyer with PROVEN EXPERTISE in this field of law FIRST before you take any action. I work in this field and know what I am talking about.

[horns666]

And shes onto the fact that I'm fed up, and about to jump. Shes calling me telling em she loves me asking em to talk to her, askign em whats wrong...etc.

Of course, I tell her "I'm at work- I don't want/can't talk right now, will when I get home"..

and I get the pshyco shit all over again...
"I won't be here"
"don't bother coming home"...

etc etc

FUCK HER..I lvoe her so much.. buT FUCK HER

Yeah man, I hear you..

Cheating is the nail in the coffin with me man,that's just straight out fuggin' taboo in my world, commandment#1.. pretending to forgive but NEVER forget..that inner pain/rage will always surface whenever you guys get into a squabble..over anything.

I did that before I got married with some cunt I kept on life support for some fuggin' reason, she gave me crabs..very traumatic. I had many friends go thru this exact shit. I discovered most girls are completely miserable and regretful shortly after the split..what they thought was greenier grass turned out to be pure shit...go figure.

I know this blows,

Sorry man,

Bill

[coloradoman25]

Trust me Im riding in the same boat

I have issues with my wife as well. Not the cheating kind. But abusive and demanding with mountains of double standards. Yes she is violent, could i stop that in one easy step sure...but I know better and know that the man is "always" in the wrong. Lets take this a step further we live on a military base so I have a ton more to lose beneficially. We just passed the year mark, and we have made some progress from our earlier problems. However teetering on the edge is getting rather old here too. Who the fuck knows man all I can say is sit down and open the whole book and get it all on the table. This can help, however make sure your covering your ass every step of the way. Im talking hidden bank accounts or stashed cash, items of major value that wont be noticed moved to a friends house etc. Either way you really need a plan in place to protect yourself. Oh and a web cam or a good cellphone recording does wonders for proof of domestic violence.

Good Luck
Chris Dombkowski
USAF Academy
DOD SVYY

[lerxstcat]

I kinda think he's really looking for help and not wisecracks. There seems to be a lot of threads that are posted by members who really need to have a place to talk about personal situations. And that includes me. I think we should show respect to the members who trust us to be there for them. The thread writer should indicate by his or her's responses whether wisecracks should be made. Boy, did I find a soapbox!!!!!

I don't see any remarks that aren't supportive of GWARGHOUL, Fett. Maybe a few "bitch" comments about the wife but in the context I don't see anything to bother him. If there is I'd hoipe he'd speak up and people would chill, but perhaps you should just go ahead and create the thread about whatever's bothering YOU. You've made a couple of references, so spit it out.

I'm sure people will be supportive, and as long as you don't start the wisecracking yourself I'm sure the tone will stay respectful. I just think that GWARGHOUL is getting the reality check that his instincts are right about his situation.

And sleeping in the car in Missouri in the winter is a good way to freeze to death. Not everybody lives in Seattle.

[Shawn Lutz]

No kids. Just had our 3 month "anniversary".

I grew up with the domestic violence and shit.
I've lost respect for her.
She wants to work it out, I don't think I do.

I think I'de be happier by myself.
..And theres a chick I've known for 4 years out in Long Beach, and we've always had a "thing"... and yeah...

I think in most states within 6 months, an anullment can be granted, right?

I do not want to let things get nasty. Theres a small possibility I may work this out, but I'm out the dorr the next time, which to say I KNOW there will be a next time she gets crazy, so its really pointless to keep saying "next time"...

I'm trying to see if I can find a place to stay as we speak. Tryign to rent a room from my buddy, who lives closer to my job and my school.

I say run hard and fas them...3 months is nohing. Its better to do this now than working through it ad have to deal with this again later down the road

[toejam]

How long have you been married ??? AFter she bonked someone else 3 weeks in would have been the good time to split.

I agree. If you cheated on her, would she still stay with you and not boot you out on your ass? Move on. How do you know she won't cheat again?

[GWARGHOUL]

I went out for a good binge drinking last night.


Got home around 10am this morning, so much for "talking" last night.

We went to lunch together and talked a bit.

She says she really stressed out, and wants things to work out.I think she needs to talk to her counselor about her irrational ways of handling stress.


So I'm kind of thinking I'm going to try one last time. Like I said, I REALLY love her, and I know she really loves me, she just doesn't express her love in healthy ways a lot of the time, partially because of her upbringing, partially because of her mental illness.

I dunno guys. But thanks for your input.
We'll see how I feel in a few days, and I may just go to a lawyer this week on one of my days off, if I don't get a good feeling soon.

[jgcable]

Steve, time for some tough talk bro.

I hope you aren't going to tell me that you didn't know that your wife was a " physically violent, mentally unstable, selfish, critical, two-faced" before you married her. My guess is you did. In that case... what the heck did you expect to happen????
She did exactly what she was supposed to do when a person exhibits traits like these.

#1. You shouldn't have married a basket case like that.
#2. Divorce her unless you are into that type of abuse. You could probably get it annulled (however you spell the word)
#3. If you aren't going to divorce her, at least lay a smack down on the dude who was banging her.
Here is what I would do. THIS IS PRETTY GRAPHIC.
#1. I would be nice to her and during the next sexual session I would go in through the out door HARD.
#2. A little ATM would be in order next.
#3. I would find the dude she was banging and kick his ass big.
#4. I would then divorce her BUT ONLY after I cleaned out the savings account, the checking account and I took everything that was worth anything in regards to property and personal belongings.
#5. I would also video tape the sex and post it online.