New Update - his new attorneys

[Tetsuo]

You been talkin' to Doc Dryer??

And yes, you're all right. She is a very strong woman. She has been through a lot and has taken it all like a trooper. I'm proud of everything she has accomplished. I may not be able to erase the past, but I will most definitely do everything in my power to support her 1000% of the way.

As far as my strength... it's nothing. All I really have to do is listen. It's not always easy to hear some of this stuff, but it is all for her benefit.

WOW Tekky great to see you.

Joe summed it up again You both are handling this amazingly. Hats off to both of you.

ps next week I will be working downtown we should try to catch lunch.

[Norton]

Oh,how can those lawyers sleep at night?Defending serial killers,rapists....I would never do that If I was a lawyer.

[Mrs Tekky]

Once again - Thank you all so very much. This place has a been a great support system as well. The hardest part really is talking about it the first time. It's truly hard to take that first step - you never know what a person will say or think. I've had reponses range from horrified for me to complete disbelief. To have people offer support has been completely uplifting. In a way, I'm finding my way to give back - if my standing up and talking about it helps somebody else talk about what happened to them or offer someone else support then the effort to talk about it is totally worthwhile.

The support is sometimes overwhelming! Todd has been especially great. Even knowing what had happened to me and what I was dealing with - he still started dating me and ended up marrying me. A lot of people would have turned around and walked away. He's definitely a godsend.

[Tekky]

WOW Tekky great to see you.

Joe summed it up again You both are handling this amazingly. Hats off to both of you.

ps next week I will be working downtown we should try to catch lunch.

Give me a call!! I've got a friend who owns one of the best sandwich shops in Chicago! It's right around the corner from my office. (And they're building a Potbelly in our lobby!! LOL!)

[delt]

> Those kids didn't do anything, but have to deal with the fact that their
> dad is sitting in jail and going on trial as basically a serial rapist.

Well, is he or is he not a serial rapist? It's not the kids fault, but... what can you do?

What pisses me off most is that these violent, criminal assholes are treated almost like hotel guests in jail. They're treated much better than patients in mental hospitals - people with mental disorders who never did anything wrong & never hurt anyone.

[Tekky]

He has not been convicted of being a serial rapist, but we're sure that this is the guy. He has been linked to at least 3 other assaults. I don't know the definition of 'serial rapist' but I'd say he qualifies. (nobody knows how many, if any, people he's attacked have not come forward)

[Mrs Tekky]

As Todd said, he has not been found guilty of any crime at this time. He is strongly believed to be the one behind the string of rapes, but has not been labeled a serial rapist at this point. He is being held in the county jail since is awaiting trial - in solitary confinement for his own protection. He's been there since July 06.

Since he has not been found guilty, we can't call him a rapist or serial rapist without facing libel issues. He can be referred to as an alleged rapist. And in all actuality - each of the victims will often referred to as an alleged victim.

[fett]

You are doing the right thing all the way around. I admire you, no end.

[Tetsuo]

I keep blabbering on about this but it is something that indeed touches me and troubles me. When we all met at NAMM clearly I had no clue and then hearing the stories. OMG. I tend in life to get friends who are victims, I have gone out with girls who were raped I know plenty sexually abused people etc... I have never seen out of that though anyone who carried themself as you do. I know it isn't easy but ou are the anti-victim you are very strong and that is just baffling to me. Your overall view on all of this is flawless and so strong.

Todd I know you have a great deal to do with this too. You are a genuine person who cares and you helped out greatly. Takes a real man (espescially an italian man ..cheap shot) to be that understanding. If I were in your place I would have had this man dead because emotion would have ruled. That wouldn't have helped your wife. It wouldonly have made you feel vindicated and not that intentions are bad or anything just it doesn't help the problem.

I am overstating and not very articulate on this thread but if people don't understand what Mrs primarily and Tekky secondarily go through and the humnity and strength they show through it all... well please stop and think.

Tekky I'll call you tomorrow when I set my schedule for next week

Also I would love to take you boh out for dinner sometime.

[Mrs Tekky]

Thank you my friend. I made a decision a long time ago that I was a victim, but I am and will always be a survivor. Although he had control of my life that night, I have taken control back. I will always have trouble with some things. I still have nightmares and flashbacks occasionally. Some days will always be better than others. But overall, my life is mine. With support, I work through those rough days. Knowing I have people to turn to, to lean on, makes all the difference. I can guarantee that without my support system, I wouldn't be here talking about it today.

Thank you all for listening, for offering support. There is no way that I can every really show how much it means.

Tetsuo - we'd love to see you!

[Tetsuo]

I'll talk to tekky tomorrow we will make a date. We gotta catch one of the last 9 episodes together!


Honestly I am overly empathetic (to a fault) and been through a ton lately etc... Your courage and Todd's not killing the guy (for real but lol) has helped me it really has.

[lerxstcat]

Once again - Thank you all so very much. This place has a been a great support system as well. The hardest part really is talking about it the first time. It's truly hard to take that first step - you never know what a person will say or think. I've had reponses range from horrified for me to complete disbelief. To have people offer support has been completely uplifting. In a way, I'm finding my way to give back - if my standing up and talking about it helps somebody else talk about what happened to them or offer someone else support then the effort to talk about it is totally worthwhile.

The support is sometimes overwhelming! Todd has been especially great. Even knowing what had happened to me and what I was dealing with - he still started dating me and ended up marrying me. A lot of people would have turned around and walked away. He's definitely a godsend.

I'm sure you know Todd and I don't exactly get along, but he's far too smart to turn away from a woman of your quality because someone did something horrible to you. I think any guy with some intelligence would not turn away; give yourself more credit than that. I'm glad he is there for you, again we may not get along but if you love him he must be a good guy under it all. But don't ever think that you are not equally a godsend to him. I'm sure he knows that you are and tells you so too.

[Mrs Tekky]

I'm sure you know Todd and I don't exactly get along, but he's far too smart to turn away from a woman of your quality because someone did something horrible to you. I think any guy with some intelligence would not turn away; give yourself more credit than that. I'm glad he is there for you, again we may not get along but if you love him he must be a good guy under it all. But don't ever think that you are not equally a godsend to him. I'm sure he knows that you are and tells you so too.

Lerxstcat - That was very nicely said. Thank you.


Unfortunately, more often than not when something like this happens, it kills the relationship the person is in. I had a great therapist that actually discussed this with me during that first year. She told me that very few relationships survive one of the partners being raped. Sometimes it's because the guy or girl can't stand the thought that someone else was with their significant other - even though it was forced. Other times it's the stress and all the related issues that goes with being raped and the aftermath.

I was actually dating someone else when I was raped. The stress, my issues because of the rape (I was diagnosed with posttraumatic stress disorder), and issues that he had because of it really killed the relationship. There is a massive helpless feeling that happens often on both sides and that tends to really put a damper on a relationship.

It takes a very special person to be willing to deal with these kind of situations. Todd has done very well in dealing with me and the situation. It's definitely not an easy thing for anyone around me to see what happens.

And he does tell me that I'm a godsend to him too. Although I wonder about that when I'm having a breakdown!

[horns666]

Well, you're probably aware that Todd and I are not exactly "bros" here as well. I truly believe this wouldn't be the case if we actually KNEW each other.

I respect Todd for the fact that he is understanding, comforting, and that you both have the strengh to overcome such a tragedy. You are correct that events such as this does challenge and desolve most relationships, but in some cases it actually strengthens that bond. Fortunately for both of us, such is the case.

I suffer Post traumatic Stress Disorder since March 23rd 1994 and still require therapy twice a month. I will never get over what happened to me as well, but I know it has made me a much stronger person.

My wife has been a blessing as well, especially when I'm having my moments..she allows me to vent, and understands my frustrations. So I know the importance and blessing to have a truly loving person at your side. We been together for 20 years, and I love her with all my heart.

I don't know you other than talking with you on this forum. You're very strong, sharp and focused, but you do not seem cynical nor bitter.

Unfortunately, such is not the case for me, but I've learned alot from the ugliness that people are capable of to themselves, to others and myself.

Stay strong and focused, and justice will prevail and put some closure to this

May your marrigae with Todd blossom even more and be happy for the rest of your lives.

You have my very best wishes.

Bill Z