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An interesting phenomenon I have observed at music stores..have you seen this?

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  • An interesting phenomenon I have observed at music stores..have you seen this?

    I have noticed lately that almost every time I go into a music store I witness this bizarre ritual:

    A gent, generally of young or "youngish" age, playing downtuned metal, usually chugging on an Ibanez or Schecter..sometimes a Jackson. He will be accompanied by his paramour, who 9 out of 10 times is a bit on the porcine side of the coin. What makes this ritual even more bizarre, is that the hefty concubine of the musical blacksmith will sit in extreme proximity to her consort and stare at him intently while he plays.

    I have witnessed this on more than one occassion, in several stores. This ritual was performed by different cast members on each occasion.

    Is this something new? Has anyone else been privy to this bizarre mating riitual?

    Every time I see it, I stand there, mouth agape and fascinated.

    Mike
    Sleep. The sound doesn't collapse to riffs of early eyes either.

  • #2
    The poor girl usually looks bored senseless, too.

    Comment


    • #3
      Personally I just walk by and try not too look at them, specially avoiding eye contact. They may interpret that as a pavlovian attraction and perhaps inquire as to a menage a trois.
      On which I have no desire to attend, visit or witness.
      Mr. Patience.... ask for a free consultation.

      Comment


      • #4
        I have never liked trying stuff out in stores. I can get a feel for a guitar without plugging it in. When I try out an amp, I mess with the settings, play a quick riff or two, mess with the settings some more, etc..

        Quick and easy.
        Sleep!!, That's where I'm a viking!!

        http://www.myspace.com/grindhouseadtheband

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks for reminding me that I need to go to Guitar Center on my lunch break!

          Comment


          • #6
            It's partially the soggy cracker syndrome. As in a soggy cracker is better than no cracker. IE: Having a the porcine girl is better than having no girl...

            They are also more willing to submit to endless hours viewing the out of tune noodling of egotistic yet talentless metalhead wannabees and still look interested and boost his ego even moreso. Not to mention they will desperate enough to buy you strings, drinks and munchies. All in the hopes of possibly having a chance to jump his bones at some point in time...

            Sadly, the reality is that she will get his leftover angst after he chases the hotty skanks at the "shows"and leaves her to guard his equipment, only to come back later, dejected by the hotties and use her for his well... Primal needs...

            Plus, it's good to have hefty breeding stock to carry your gear and well... buy you strings and munchies.

            Non-hefty girls just don't co-operate so well...

            Comment


            • #7
              Yes, I find this phenomenon to be quite pervasive in the modern era. While the temptation to humble said flogger (i.e. demonstrate that I can actually play a guitar) is quite intense, my fascination with his and her assessment of his musical "abilities" leaves me unable to do anything more than stare in amazement.
              Member - National Sarcasm Society

              "Oh, sure. Like we need your support."

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Cleveland Metal View Post
                It's partially the soggy cracker syndrome. As in a soggy cracker is better than no cracker. IE: Having a the porcine girl is better than having no girl...

                They are also more willing to submit to endless hours viewing the out of tune noodling of egotistic yet talentless metalhead wannabees and still look interested and boost his ego even moreso. Not to mention they will desperate enough to buy you strings, drinks and munchies. All in the hopes of possibly having a chance to jump his bones at some point in time...

                Sadly, the reality is that she will get his leftover angst after he chases the hotty skanks at the "shows"and leaves her to guard his equipment, only to come back later, dejected by the hotties and use her for his well... Primal needs...

                Plus, it's good to have hefty breeding stock to carry your gear and well... buy you strings and munchies.

                Non-hefty girls just don't co-operate so well...
                :ROTF: So true!
                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6M4lm9Ahz0

                Comment


                • #9
                  paramour? porcine? Since when is it bad to use words like ugly ho? =)
                  Insert annoying equipment list here....

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by MBreinin View Post
                    I have noticed lately that almost every time I go into a music store I witness this bizarre ritual:

                    A gent, generally of young or "youngish" age, playing downtuned metal, usually chugging on an Ibanez or Schecter..sometimes a Jackson. He will be accompanied by his paramour, who 9 out of 10 times is a bit on the porcine side of the coin. What makes this ritual even more bizarre, is that the hefty concubine of the musical blacksmith will sit in extreme proximity to her consort and stare at him intently while he plays.

                    I have witnessed this on more than one occassion, in several stores. This ritual was performed by different cast members on each occasion.

                    Is this something new? Has anyone else been privy to this bizarre mating riitual?

                    Every time I see it, I stand there, mouth agape and fascinated.

                    Mike

                    This is the best post on this site in forever.
                    I keep the bible in a pool of blood
                    So that none of its lies can affect me

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I had to use dictionary to understand Mike's post
                      "There is nothing more fearful than imagination without taste" - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

                      "To be stupid, selfish and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost" - Gustave Flaubert

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        The thing that gets me is that these girls are often merely inches from the guy. It is really strange. The first time I noticed it, I discounted it as just a one off experience. But then, I kept seeing it over and over again. Does the girl know to do this instinctually, or does the guy tell her to sit really close to him and stare at his hands from 3 inches away?

                        WTF is up with this?

                        Mike
                        Sleep. The sound doesn't collapse to riffs of early eyes either.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Hey! Porcine girls need lovin too!!

                          chuck
                          "Those who know what's best for us, must rise and save us from ourselves!"

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Tetsuo View Post
                            This is the best post on this site in forever.
                            Nope, sorry, I've got to disagree...

                            Originally posted by Cleveland Metal View Post
                            It's partially the soggy cracker syndrome. As in a soggy cracker is better than no cracker. IE: Having a the porcine girl is better than having no girl...

                            They are also more willing to submit to endless hours viewing the out of tune noodling of egotistic yet talentless metalhead wannabees and still look interested and boost his ego even moreso. Not to mention they will desperate enough to buy you strings, drinks and munchies. All in the hopes of possibly having a chance to jump his bones at some point in time...

                            Sadly, the reality is that she will get his leftover angst after he chases the hotty skanks at the "shows"and leaves her to guard his equipment, only to come back later, dejected by the hotties and use her for his well... Primal needs...

                            Plus, it's good to have hefty breeding stock to carry your gear and well... buy you strings and munchies.

                            Non-hefty girls just don't co-operate so well...
                            This is.
                            Division - American Metal that doesn't suck. Much. Even on Facebook.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Joe_Steeler View Post
                              Personally I just walk by and try not too look at them, specially avoiding eye contact. They may interpret that as a pavlovian attraction and perhaps inquire as to a menage a trois.
                              On which I have no desire to attend, visit or witness.
                              This is humor at it's finest. :ROTF:
                              Special deals for JCF members on Jackson/Charvel, Suhr, Anderson, Nash, Splawn, Bogner, LSL, Ibanez, Diezel, Friedman, Bad Cat, 3rd Power, Dr. Z, ENGL and more. FREE SHIPPING! 0% FINANCING!

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