Almost killed and still here

[Jack The Riffer]

I got shot at once and the bullet grazed the top of my ear. I was once hit by an out of control car and shattered my pelvis.

[Rsmacker]

I once told my ex that yes, her arse did look big in her new dress.

And I lived to tell the tale!


It was close though.

[Harry Krisna]

I had this really bad toothache once.....

[zeegler]

I got a pretty nasty papercut yesterday.

[dd3keegs]

When I was about 5 Years Old. I was up in a cottage

in Maine with my family on a Lake. We had just met a

new Family vacationing in a cottage near us. They

were visiting from N.Y.for the weekend...and My

parents thought it would be a good idea that I

hangout with their 7 Year Old son. Both families

went in the house for coffee. And my brother and

sister went with them for something to eat. Well...I

start asking the kid if he likes "Speed Racer" (I was a

huge Speed Racer at the time) ...and as soon as

everyone is out of sight this kid jumps on me and

starts to strangle me to death. At first I started to

laugh...cause I thought he is playing around. And

then I could feel my throat hurting. The kid was just

staring down at me like some frigging manaic...doing

his best to kill me! I began screaming for help. The

house was about 75 yards from the lake. Thank God

my 4 year old brother heard me. He comes flying out

of the house with my parents after him..and jumps

on the kids back. And puts him in a headlock. The

parents break us up. And the NY family leaves

embarassed. Pretty F@cked up huh? Did I say I love

my Brother? Ya I do. Oh Yeah. I'm an adopted twin

born in 1967. My mother was raped...and decided to

have me and my Sister(Fraternal Twins) anyway. She

gave us up for adoption, and were placed with a

family at 5 weeks old. That's at least 2 times I

could've died. Thanks Mom...and Thank You God for

all the other times you gave charge over your Angels

concerning me.

[jcm800x]

Wow, crazy stories so far! I was out on my zrx1200r a year and a half ago doing about 60 with no jacket( very hot) on a strait 2 way highway when an old couple took a left across my path. I turned my head and waited to die, next thing I remember I was rolling down the highway, seemed like forever. I stopped rolling and I thought about how fucked up I must be and how I would be in a chair, nursing home, all kinds of stuff. I put my hands down and tested my bones, then my back, legs and then I stood up. Nothing broken! I took off my full face and realized I landed on my face, helmet was banged in but saved me. My instinct to roll saved alot of my skin but my left arm, back, knees, knucles, feet and various other spots were rashed and bleeding bad. I got dizzy from the blood loss and sat down, I couldn't beleive I hit the pavement going 60 in a tshirt and walked away! The cop said I layed it down and went under the truck somehow, one foot to the right and I would have hit the cab, killing me and the passenger. I always think my Dad is watching out for me, he died when he was 26, drown.

[MBreinin]

I think of how many times I did insane things in an automobile on public roads and I shudder. I was an idiot when I was young, and I was usually armed with a very fast car that could not stop nearly as well as it could accelerate. I am glad I made it through my teens and twenties and I hope my son is not as bad as I was...which is, of course, wishful thinking since he wants to be just like me.

Mike

[zeegler]

When I was about 5 Years Old. I was up in a cottage

in Maine with my family on a Lake. We had just met a

new Family vacationing in a cottage near us. They

were visiting from N.Y.for the weekend...and My

parents thought it would be a good idea that I

hangout with their 7 Year Old son. Both families

went in the house for coffee. And my brother and

sister went with them for something to eat. Well...I

start asking the kid if he likes "Speed Racer" (I was a

huge Speed Racer at the time) ...and as soon as

everyone is out of sight this kid jumps on me and

starts to strangle me to death. At first I started to

laugh...cause I thought he is playing around. And

then I could feel my throat hurting. The kid was just

staring down at me like some frigging manaic...doing

his best to kill me! I began screaming for help. The

house was about 75 yards from the lake. Thank God

my 4 year old brother heard me. He comes flying out

of the house with my parents after him..and jumps

on the kids back. And puts him in a headlock. The

parents break us up. And the NY family leaves

embarassed. Pretty F@cked up huh? Did I say I love

my Brother? Ya I do. Oh Yeah. I'm an adopted twin

born in 1967. My mother was raped...and decided to

have me and my Sister(Fraternal Twins) anyway. She

gave us up for adoption, and were placed with a

family at 5 weeks old. That's at least 2 times I

could've died. Thanks Mom...and Thank You God for

all the other times you gave charge over your Angels

concerning me.

Dude that is some fucked up shit right there. You seem pretty well adjusted in any case. Good for you man.

[Spivonious]

The closest I've come is when my leg was pinned between two cars in an accident. Nothing but bruises because my car's frontend was pushed into another car's side which stopped it before it could do anything serious to my leg.

And of course there's always the idiot drivers who almost hit me like 3 or 4 times a month.

[sevser]

My 966 Cat, front end loader (Like this one) lost all it's oil pressure…for some unknown reason...Yes it had oil in it haha...Shut right down, while I was aimed right towards the edge on the very top of the gravel pit. Shit my pant and bailed out the open door. Thank God it was open. It went for the ride without me. I was hanging on the edge of the drop off.

Then there was the time Clifford Olson http://www.allserialkillers.com/clifford_olson.htm
tried to abduct me...Long story. Freaky thing is...I was going to go with him...Thanx Grandma!

[Newc]

I had Borderline Hemophilia as a child, which is a rare condition and is almost totally rebuked by the majority of American doctors, but according to the Hematologist I had to see as a child, it's fairly common in India (where he was from).

If my nose ever started bleeding, I would bleed for hours. I could not breathe through my nose without the risk of triggering a nosebleed due to the wind passing through my nostrils, and whenever my mother was using bleach in the house I had to go outside because the vapors would trigger a nosebleed. If I sneezed too hard or blew my nose too hard I'd start bleeding. You can imagine the Hell I had to go through in school, what with parents that teach their children to behave like Neanderthals and beat up on other kids for no reason other than to do it.

Once, I had lost so much blood that the doctors said to call in the family and prepare for my funeral. Say what you want, but I know that there is a God and He saved my life. My entire family prayed for my recovery, and God answered. Medical Science had nothing to do with it - they were in total denial that the condition even existed!

The funny thing was that I would only bleed like that from my nose - if I got a cut or a bruise it cleared up in less than an hour, but if my nose ever started, it was a trip to the hospital.

Even today I can't breathe through my nose as well as I should, and harsh chemical odors like bleach or household cleaning agents put me on alert.

I've had the flu this past week and at least twice when I've blown my nose I've seen traces of blood, but it's only traces, no full-on bleeding. While I don't take physical blows to the nose on a regular basis, I do tend to protect my face from potential injury. I believe God healed me of it, but I'm not going to run out and start cracking my nose open to prove it (since God says not to do that sorta thing, aside from the self-mutilation aspect of it).


As for vehicular accidents, I've been in two - both the other guy's fault - but the one I was almost in is the scariest.

My Mother and I were returning from the gorcery store one night, and there are 2 routes we can take which are of equal distance to the same point. Normally we would take this one particular Left turn at a stoplight, go down to the next light and take a Right, dow to a stop sign, and then head straight home. The other path is straight through the first light to the stop sign at the end, then a Left to the stop sign at the end of the other path.

I took the straight path, and waited for a car that was a good distance away, but since this intersection is posted as being Dangerous, I decided to wait. Turns out it was a cop on patrol, so he just whizzes on by and I make the Left.

Way down at the end of the road by the stop sign we see a Jeep come flying through the stop sign, launches into the air off the train tracks, and lands on its side in the ditch on the other side.

We get down to the scene and some teenager hops out of the Jeep dusting himself off, and his girlfriend is standing in the vehicle - hair going everywhere. I asked if they needed help, but he said "Naw man, we're fine". So we drove off.

Had I not waited for the cop, or taken the other route, we would have been either broadsided by the Jeep or it would have landed on us as we crossed the tracks.

[Rich#6]

There is some fukked up stories here maybe all of my conbined with come close to some of these.
1. brake line broke doing 85 stoped a few feet behind car in front of me. If I had pumped the brakes like they say to do I would have died.
2. cut an artery in my arm and almost bled to death . I am lucky to only have a bad scar, nerve damage and strengh loss in my arm
3. I bullet bounced off of a 2" wide pole I was standing behind.
4. I don't know if my life was in danger but I was robber working at a gas station and freaked. The robber was more fukked up then me maybe some broken fingers(I closed the drawer on them), wacked the back of his head on the cigarette rack, and he smashed his face on the door frame when he sliped and fell running out the door. :ROTF:
5. I had a friend that was murdered. I had driven past her house the night it happened and her bedroom light was off so I didn't stop. I will never know if she was there or not but if she was and we had hung out that night would I be dead too or would she still be alive. It's one of those things that can mess with a guy.
6. Every time I have had unprotected sex.

[dd3keegs]

Dude that is some fucked up shit right there. You seem pretty well adjusted in any case. Good for you man.

Thanks! You know I almost forgot about how lucky I am to be alive today. Thanks Again.

[fr0sty]

What did the guy say when karma caught up with him?

I had a 16 year old kid put the barrel of a .30-.30 rifle on the bridge of my nose, and tell my brother if he made one wrong move, I wouldn't live to see Christmas. Then he walked me about 200 yards out of he woods and NEVER moved that barrel. Granted, we were stealing a Christmas tree...but shit, I was 12 years old. Thank goodness the man who owned the land was very nice. He chewed that kid out. My brother was 25 years old. He kept begging that kid to put the gun down, he was telling the kid, that I was just a kid and to leave me alone....he wouldn't, kept callin us "dog breath" yeah, Hill Street Blues was the #1 thing on TV back then. My brother told him..I will find you someday, and kick the shit out of you. 4 years later, we were driving down the street in small town, my brother stopped his truck in the middle of the road, went across it and kicked the shit out of some guy..was the same guy...he hurt him pretty bad. He just kept sayin..remeber my little sister you dumb fuck? This is for her!! An ambulance came and picked the kid up. The cops talked to my brother..and let him go. I have never been so scared in my life.

[Norton]

When I was about 5 Years Old. I was up in a cottage

in Maine with my family on a Lake. We had just met a

new Family vacationing in a cottage near us. They

were visiting from N.Y.for the weekend...and My

parents thought it would be a good idea that I

hangout with their 7 Year Old son. Both families

went in the house for coffee. And my brother and

sister went with them for something to eat. Well...I

start asking the kid if he likes "Speed Racer" (I was a

huge Speed Racer at the time) ...and as soon as

everyone is out of sight this kid jumps on me and

starts to strangle me to death. At first I started to

laugh...cause I thought he is playing around. And

then I could feel my throat hurting. The kid was just

staring down at me like some frigging manaic...doing

his best to kill me! I began screaming for help. The

house was about 75 yards from the lake. Thank God

my 4 year old brother heard me. He comes flying out

of the house with my parents after him..and jumps

on the kids back. And puts him in a headlock. The

parents break us up. And the NY family leaves

embarassed. Pretty F@cked up huh? Did I say I love

my Brother? Ya I do. Oh Yeah. I'm an adopted twin

born in 1967. My mother was raped...and decided to

have me and my Sister(Fraternal Twins) anyway. She

gave us up for adoption, and were placed with a

family at 5 weeks old. That's at least 2 times I

could've died. Thanks Mom...and Thank You God for

all the other times you gave charge over your Angels

concerning me.

Have you seen that kid later?It could be great if you saw him again.You could do the same "joke" to him.