RIP Brad Delp...

[Cleveland Metal]

Read through that letter Tom wrote... Nicely stated...

Brad sounded like an awesome dude... What a shame he felt he had to do this...

[charveljunkie]

A lonely soul
ATKINSON, N.H. (AP) - Brad Delp, the lead singer for the band Boston who killed himself last week, left behind a note in which he called himself "a lonely soul," according to police reports released Thursday.

The note was paper-clipped to the neck of Delp's shirt when police found his body at his Atkinson home, on the bathroom floor, his head on a pillow. He had sealed himself inside with two charcoal grills; toxicology tests showed he had committed suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning.

"Mr. Brad Delp. J'ai une ame solitaire. I am a lonely soul," the note read.

Delp joined Boston in the mid-1970s and sang two of its biggest hits, "More than a Feeling" and "Long Time." He was cremated Wednesday, after a private funeral earlier in the week.

His fiancee, Pamela Sullivan, called police March 9 after noticing a dryer vent tube connected to the exhaust pipe of Delp's car. In the garage, police found a note taped to the door leading into the house.

"To whoever finds this I have hopefully committed suicide. Plan B was to asphyxiate myself in my car."

In another note on a door at the top of the stairs, Delp cautioned that there was carbon monoxide inside.

"I take complete and sole responsibility for my present situation. I have lost my desire to live," he wrote. The note also included instructions on how to contact his fiancee: "Unfortunately she is totally unaware of what I have done."

Police later found four sealed letters in an office addressed to Sullivan, his children, their mother, Micki Delp, and another couple whose identity was not disclosed. Police Lt. William Baldwin said police gave the letters to family members without reading them.

Sullivan told police that Delp "had been depressed for some time, feeling emotional (and) bad about himself," according to the reports.

He had planned to marry Sullivan this summer during a break in a tour with Boston. A lifelong Beatles fan, Delp also played with the tribute band Beatle Juice.

[skorb]

It was stated that as giving as Brad was he had personal issues. He didn't like himself and didn't value himself...

I have found that many people who are very "giving" and go out of their way to please others do so because they have very low self esteem and don't love themselves, and that is one of the only ways they can feel good about themselves.

I'll never understand that, but I know it from personal experience with one such person.

[~K~]

Delp’s ex: ‘No one can possibly understand’
By Gayle Fee and Laura Raposa
Friday, March 16, 2007 - Updated: 01:49 AM EST

Boston lead singer Brad Delp was driven to despair after his longtime friend Fran Cosmo was dropped from a summer tour, the last straw in a dysfunctional professional life that ultimately led to the sensitive frontman’s suicide, Delp’s ex-wife said.

“No one can possibly understand the pressures he was under,” said Micki Delp, the mother of Delp’s two kids, in an exclusive interview with the Track.
“Brad lived his life to please everyone else. He would go out of his way and hurt himself before he would hurt somebody else, and he was in such a predicament professionally that no matter what he did, a friend of his would be hurt. Rather than hurt anyone else, he would hurt himself. That’s just the kind of guy he was.”

Cosmo, who had been with Boston since the early ’90s, had been “disinvited” from the planned summer tour, Micki Delp said, “which upset Brad.”

But according to Tom Scholz, the MIT-educated engineer who founded the band back in 1976, the decision to drop Cosmo was not final and Delp was not upset about the matter. (Cosmo’s son Anthony, however, was scratched from the tour.)

“The decision to rehearse without the Cosmos was a group decision,” Scholz said in a statement through his publicist. “Brad never expressed unhappiness with that decision . . . and took an active part in arranging the vocals for five people, not seven.”

Nonetheless, according to the singer’s suicide notes released yesterday, Delp said he had “lost my desire to live.”

Police say Delp sealed himself inside his bathroom last Friday, lit two charcoal grills and committed suicide via carbon monoxide poisoning.

“Mr. Brad Delp. J’ai une ame solitaire. I am a lonely soul,” said one of the notes. “I take complete and sole responsibility for my present situation.” The note also included instructions on how to contact his fiancee, Pamela Sullivan, who found Delp’s body.

“Unfortunately she is totally unaware of what I have done,” the note said.

Yesterday Sullivan, who was planning to marry Delp this summer, said the situation was “extremely painful” for her, Delp’s children and his family.
“To the rest of the world, this is a big story,” she said. “But to Brad and Micki’s children and me, it’s very different.”

According to police reports released yesterday, Delp was found on the floor of his bathroom Friday, his head on a pillow and a note paper-clipped to the neck of his shirt. He died sometime between 11:30 p.m. March 8 and the next afternoon.

Sullivan told police that Delp “had been depressed for some time, feeling emotional (and) bad about himself,” according to the reports.

According to Micki Delp, Brad was upset over the lingering bad feelings from the ugly breakup of the band Boston over 20 years ago. Delp continued to work with Scholz and Boston but also gigged with Barry Goudreau, Fran Sheehan and Sib Hashian, former members of the band who had a fierce falling out with Scholz in the early ’80s.
As a result, he was constantly caught in the middle of the warring factions. The situation was complicated by the fact that Delp’s ex-wife, Micki, is the sister of Goudreau’s wife, Connie.

“Barry and Sib are family and the things that were said against them hurt,” Micki said. “Boston to Brad was a job, and he did what he was told to do. But it got to the point where he just couldn’t do it anymore.”

Considerate to the end, Delp left a note on the top of the stairs at his home warning rescuers that there was carbon monoxide in the house. Another note said the couple’s cat, Floppy, should be in a room that was safe from the deadly gas and asked that someone find her and make sure she was all right.
Police said Delp was so intent on ending it all that he had a backup plan if the charcoal fumes didn’t kill him. A dryer vent tube was connected to the exhaust pipe of Delp’s car. In the garage, police found a note taped to the door leading into the house.

“To whoever finds this I have hopefully committed suicide. Plan B was to asphyxiate myself in my car.”

Outside the bathroom, police found a carbon monoxide detector with the battery removed.

Delp joined Boston in the mid-1970s and sang two of its biggest hits, “More than a Feeling” and “Long Time.” A lifelong Beatles fan, Delp also played with the tribute band Beatlejuice.

Delp was cremated Wednesday, police said. A private funeral was held earlier this week.

[Firebird V]

That just sucks. I too wish that others saw it coming. That is always the case though. Nobody sees or takes the signs serious. I had a friend (ex girlfriends brother) hang himself a few years ago. After the fact I found out he actually tried it once before and did not succeed. IMO they must not have taken the 1st attempt serious enough because to my knowledge he was not seeking any help and the first attempt went unreported to anyone.

[charvelguy]

wow.. just depressing to read this..it's troubling that it is so carefully planned.

[Ralph E.]

That just sucks. I too wish that others saw it coming. That is always the case though. Nobody sees or takes the signs serious. I had a friend (ex girlfriends brother) hang himself a few years ago. After the fact I found out he actually tried it once before and did not succeed. IMO they must not have taken the 1st attempt serious enough because to my knowledge he was not seeking any help and the first attempt went unreported to anyone.

No they never do. You hear it all the time, "I just don't understand, everything seemed fine..."

I think most people (the people around the person who commited suicide) don't want to face hard/difficult issues. I don't know if it's just that they don't have answers and don't know what to say, or they don't want to face difficult topics.

Life, people, and relationships are complex.

[Carbuff]

I think people dont see it coming because unless you are feeling that way yourself, you cant imagine ever wanting to take your own life. So you feel that everyone else thinks this way too as its "normal". And unless someone shows signs of acting "crazy" you couldnt imagine them thinking otherwise. Unfortunately it doesnt always work that way.

[fett]

I really feel sorry for the people he left behind. Suicide can be an impulsive act. And, it usually is after the person has gone through "Too Much" and just "Does it". To make a production out of it just is too weird for me. He has cast the members of his family into the spotlight where, I am sure, they do not want to be. Suicide, by definfinition, is a selfish act. I am sad he did it. But, to make it an "event" is just wrong.

[~K~]

My dad took his own life by hanging in 1995. My youngest brother found him in the garage. He's never been the same since.

[fett]

That's my point. When I was in 6th grade a friend of mine's father blew his brains out with a shotgun in his home. I'm sure it scared him for life. I had another friend that had his father die by crashing his car into cement. It was a suicide. If you are going to kill yourself, take it outside. Leave someone else to find you. Delp was selfish in the end to the max. I admire Boston, but Delp was no class act at the end.

[Joe_Steeler]

My dad took his own life by hanging in 1995. My youngest brother found him in the garage. He's never been the same since.

I am sorry.......

[AlexL]

My dad took his own life by hanging in 1995. My youngest brother found him in the garage. He's never been the same since.

Wow, Kevin, I'm real sorry to hear that.

- E.

[~K~]

I appreciate the condolences. My dad and I had a bitter relationship and 3 weeks before when I was in Cali and saw him we had a bad fight over it. My dad lived his life as a very selfish person and in the end died a very selfish person. He didn't even leave money to bury him or a note.

I guess the point of me posting that is for a few reasons. While I understand suicide is a selfish act I also have been to that point myself a few years ago. When you live in despair like that and you feel that you have no where to turn because no one will understand or no way out it becomes an end to a lot of misery because you feel alone.

In my case my fear of the unkown was the only line preventing me from crossing over and a dear friend of mine talked some sense into me. Thank god for her.

In my dads case he never seemed depressed, he was more of a self indugent type. He cared more about himself than others. I got the call on April 1st 1995 at about 4-5am from California telling me of the news. I honestly never saw it coming but feeling he lived a selfish life I wasn't totally surprised.

I blamed myself for that last fight we had for a long time because it was our last interaction and I felt like that pushed him to the edge. It took me a long time to understand he was being selfish and it had nothing to do with me... in the end it was his life to do what he wished and he apparently got his wish ...

[~K~]

BTW tonight I flipped open the town paper and on the back was an ad for a charity show featuring "Beatlejuice" Brad's side band. The paper was published before the news of his death as it only comes out once a week... it was kind of a sad thing to see ..