taking the piss... literally

[wilkinsi]

I have recently been sent a series of emails stating my time/attendance adherance reports are showing I am in the red, because I spend more than 14 minutes per day going to the toilet. The last email includes a threat involving me being interviewed by the manager.

My gut reaction (pun intended) is a series of responses:
1) WTF do you think you are dictating depriving me of my human rights?
2) So what am I supposed to do? Piss myself?
3) Give me a fucking carborator to shove down my urether.
4) Accept my notice. I'm not prepared to work for a company who can't manage my overtime, and has the nerve to lecture me on attendance.

Callcentres evolve around "Stats" but this in my view is stupid.

[fett]

You could tell them to piss up a rope.

[wilkinsi]

[442w30]

I'd break it down into how many minutes it takes to walk to the restroom, use it, wash your hands, and return.

It sounds like they expect you to go three times a day. If you drink the RDA of water or take any type of mediaction for blood pressure, or anything else, you'll go at least 3 times/day. Overtime means more time too.

You could easily get a note from a physician that explains the recommended "stool time" for a person taking healthy food/water + any physical condition. They won't take any cation with a medical notice on file (at least in America).

That is unless you are on the stool half of your shift!

[wilkinsi]

i probably spend 20 mins per day going to the toilet (not all at once!). i still think this is stupid, so i'll have a chat with my doctor...

[fett]

I am a piss ant. I must have the world's smallest bladder. I have been that way forever. Some people can go once a day a piss a bucket full. Not me. I think, I have an over active blabber.

[wilkinsi]

I am a piss ant. I must have the world's smallest bladder. I have been that way forever. Some people can go once a day a piss a bucket full. Not me. I think, I have an over active blabber.

your peepee talks to you?!

[fett]

your peepee talks to you?!

But, I can speak into the mic. Can you?:ROTF: :ROTF: :ROTF: :ROTF:

[charvelguy]

Typically Federal law here allows a person two ten minute breaks in a 8 hour period. That would be typically for bathroom or a phone call.
A company is supposed to allow you sufficent time to eat a meal, but that is not always opted for within their policies and there are ways they get around that as well.

Companies are biased.. as a supervisor I had to enforce structured breaks and monitor the times. There were other depts that were not supervised or tightly enforced at all..or they took their breaks 'loosely'- as needed. It could typically lead to abuse and some breaks on nights got to be twice or three times as long as they should.
In my last dept.. my job was to keep the machines running and make the production as efficient as possible. I wasn't allowed a specific time each day for a break. It was laid back when running more time intensive and slower pieces that needed less looking after/refills ..I could sit and eat or hit the head.

There individuals who are viewed or get flagged as chronic bathroom break users...they're giving you a warning. Personally, its nitpicking. I would think its bullshit and would be tempted to put a pint jar on my desk along with a bedpan, take a picture of it and send it back to them as 'the solutuion'

I've worked some places where it takes ten minutes just to walk to and from the bathroom.

Course.. I would observe how others are handling the same issue and try to curb the time or be more aware of it. You could clock off if it is going to be more than 15 minutes. Medical excuse would give you a better ground for such an act. Bottom line.. they can get rid of you for any reason if you signed a mutual 'at will' clause.

[wilkinsi]

hey fett - the one connected to the drains? i'm not a contortionist and not into blowing myself.

as for the contract, it's not in there. methinks i'm gonna find a union.

[Rsmacker]

Good luck, they just loooove people who only seem to recognise them when they have a problem and want them to fight their case.

You've said before the job drives you mad, why not go into the boss' office, whip your pellet out and slash all over his desk. You could at least get the dole then while you are looking for another job. Fuck them. It's not as if you are putting a career at risk, are you?

Failing that, nip off a 2' growler into a jiffy bag, and drop it on his desk, telling him you had to do it at home due to time constraints at work, and ask if he could deal with it.

[stevieb91]

Typically Federal law here allows a person two ten minute breaks in a 8 hour period. That would be typically for bathroom or a phone call.
A company is supposed to allow you sufficent time to eat a meal, but that is not always opted for within their policies and there are ways they get around that as well.

Companies are biased.. as a supervisor I had to enforce structured breaks and monitor the times. There were other depts that were not supervised or tightly enforced at all..or they took their breaks 'loosely'- as needed. It could typically lead to abuse and some breaks on nights got to be twice or three times as long as they should.
In my last dept.. my job was to keep the machines running and make the production as efficient as possible. I wasn't allowed a specific time each day for a break. It was laid back when running more time intensive and slower pieces that needed less looking after/refills ..I could sit and eat or hit the head.

There individuals who are viewed or get flagged as chronic bathroom break users...they're giving you a warning. Personally, its nitpicking. I would think its bullshit and would be tempted to put a pint jar on my desk along with a bedpan, take a picture of it and send it back to them as 'the solutuion'

I've worked some places where it takes ten minutes just to walk to and from the bathroom.

Course.. I would observe how others are handling the same issue and try to curb the time or be more aware of it. You could clock off if it is going to be more than 15 minutes. Medical excuse would give you a better ground for such an act. Bottom line.. they can get rid of you for any reason if you signed a mutual 'at will' clause.

Recently survived NY State and Federal Department of Labor audits.A half hour break is also required for an 8 hour shift. I used to work through lunch and leave a half hour early so I could pick up my kids from school,but the auditors put a halt to that.I guess it all worked out in the end.I got promoted,a raise,and some back pay.

[wilkinsi]

Failing that, nip off a 2' growler into a jiffy bag, and drop it on his desk, telling him you had to do it at home due to time constraints at work, and ask if he could deal with it.

my stomach hurts! .. argh! I definitely need a piss now......

[Newc]

Find out who the Toilet Timer is and shove them down a flight of stairs.

Or from now on, address them in a "Driving Miss Daisy" accent with "escuse me massuh, but may I go use the ressroom?"

Or every time you have to go, take off running like there's a bear after you, and run back at the same speed. See how they like that. Wear some big clunky combat boots too, so you make a whole lot of noise when you run.

Or just tell the guy "we're not here to cure cancer, so stop acting like it".