MY American cousin is coming over!!!!!!!

[24seven]

Only if they get out alive.

Take them to where Robbie <spit> comes from!

Oh dreary me, what has happened to my thread, you guys need to calm down, and no i will not be taking them to Burslem to see where Robbie Williams is from, ...I can't stand Robbie and really can't believe people made him so famous? he is arrogant and full of himself, all that money and he still isn't happy!

[24seven]

Not to take from the excitement of having the relatives over, I am sure they are equally as excited to hop on over to the motherland

I know I'd be glad just to check it out even if it was only to get away for a while.

Is there anything at all on the Eastern Half of the country, say around Grimsby, North East Lincolnshire?
I don't know anything about England, but I just looked at a map, and I seem to have never heard of most of the cities on that part of the map!
Doesn't seem like a big place, but there looks to be a lot of "country"

Grimsby, north lincs, never been there, think Grimsby is more to do with fishing.......considering England is a small island i haven't seen much of it, have been as far north as Durham and down to Land's End in Cornwall, and East side to Norwich but that's it, i've seen more of America and Europe than my own country!

[24seven]

Only if they get out alive.

Take them to where Robbie <spit> comes from!

They will come out alive! I am alive aren't I?

i will never forget when i was in Chicago, I had an appointment with a graphic artist and we got lost, my cousin and i asked a postman directions, he said don't go that way or you will get SHOT, go the long way around...when we finally found the artist he escorted us to our car because he too said we would get shot (it was a bad neighbourhood)...talk about shitting myself and this was in the 80's.

There are other famous people who are from Stoke and Robbie never comes to my mind first.

[SEAN RAF]

Insults and Stoke

A bit uncalled for...Stoke-On-Trent is a great place, excellent rock and metal scene, nice people, beautiful countryside. V's American visitors will have a great time here in Stoke and the UK in general.

[shobet]

England is a small island

Taking them to see those marvellous English villages called Edinburgh, Cardiff and Belfast?

[Snoogans]

A bit uncalled for...Stoke-On-Trent is a great place, excellent rock and metal scene, nice people, beautiful countryside. V's American visitors will have a great time here in Stoke and the UK in general.

I spent a day in Stoke a couple of years ago. It's an interesting place to visit. Hey, where else can you find out about Sagger-makers' bottom-knockers?

[Rsmacker]

Well I think V just wanted to say how excited she was about the American visitors...but thanks anyway for the insults to our home town.

No problem, feel free to insult my home town, it's easily as big a shit-hole as Stoke (OK, parts of Stoke), just stick a pin in the map, pick a town and fire away with the insults!!

I suppose Stoke has it's redeeming features. Well, feature - Lemmy was born there. That cancels out the other fellow with Zero talent (apart from sucking record co execs off - ALLEGEDLY), so it's not all bad. And didn't Slash come from Stoke too?

I'm sure your guests will enjoy themselves, so long as they don't go anywhere near Zanzibar, fight capital of Stoke-on-Trent. (Well, it used to be, what was it called before it became Zanzibar, it's killing me?)

[SEAN RAF]

Like I said, Stoke is a great place, much like the many other great places in the UK. And, in common with all the other great places in the UK, Stoke has its share of ignorant arseholes who prefer to bitch and moan about their surroundings...

[Rsmacker]

Sorry, I forgot, we all live in thatched cottages here in the UK, and leave our doors open. (Apart from the cheery Cock-er-nees who live in swirling gloomy fog, yet always have a smile on their grimey faces)

Some of the people bitching and moaning about their surroundings have little choice but to stay where they are. I'd love to move away from my particular home town, but can't afford it. I'm certainly not going to move to an even bigger toilet, like Stoke, just because it's cheap as chips. (Which it probably isn't these days)

Of course, when the "arseholes" try and change the things that make their part of the country a shit-hole, they get lambasted for being small-minded Little Englanders, standing in the way of development and change, so there's little else to do but stiffen up, grin and bear it, and take the piss.
Otherwise, we'd, erm, "they'd" be burning out the Poles, Lithuanians, Romanians, Pikeys, Somalians, Kurds, Asians and other assorted detritus who have come to MY country and turned it into a shit-hole, leaving me with my back against a graffiti covered wall surrounded by litter and broken glass with nowhere else to go.

But before I am accused of being a beastly racist, it's not all the foreigners' fault, we have more than enough scumbag junkies, wasters and irresponsible vermin to go around of our own heritage. Single mother? No problem, have a council flat, no need to even try to become a good parent, just make sure you get your Giro and fuck everyone else. Parental responsibility? Fuck it, must be someone else's fault. In fact "FUCK YOU", yeah, that's it, stick 2 fingers up at everyone, fuck 'em. Two bottles of blue WKD, NOW! Just throw your McD carton on the floor, everyone else does.

But even the uneducated chavscum aren't wholly to blame. The Great and the Good, our enlightened leaders? Let's concrete over our green and pleasant land, chuck up a few more houses (for the Polish warehouse workers), or widen the M6. Fuck it, let's just cut through a swathe of countryside and put a toll road in. Tescos? Sainsburys? No problem, gissa bung and then build your supermarket on the edge of the green belt. No need to worry about the old family butchers in town, fuck him, we need to have Italian beef, Jamie Oliver says so. Best put in another runway then, so we can put on extra flights.
British industry? Erm, nope, not necessary anymore, those lovely Chinamen who strip our cockle beds and sell us cheap DVDs have lots of family back home working hard to give us our plastic shit even cheaper than before! Great! Want to know why Stoke-on-Trent has always historically been a shithole? Erm, well, I'm sure there's a museum somewhere. I think it may have been something to do with cups and saucers and slag heaps. Dunno, can't remember.

Who cares? Alton Towers is close by, it's possibly the best amusement park this side of .........erm, Drayton Manor. Not if you are American, obviously, because the carpark at Magic Mountain is more interesting than all of Alton Towers. Pity about those winding country lanes to get there though, is there a dual carriageway to the M6 built yet? We could get home in time for Big Brother then.
Shame, it used to be a fantastic place, wonderful gardens with a few rides for kids down one end. I recall going there with my Grandad when I was a kid, a real family day out. My American friends would have loved it, peace, quiet, greenery and floral colour, something different to what they are used to. Something to be proud of.

I hope the OP's US friends come and have a great time, and with hosts looking after them , they will. There are still a lot of beautiful and interesting things to see and do in Great Britain.
The last time my friends came over from LA, after a gap of 10 years, they were shocked at the way this country had changed in that period. I could see it in their eyes as we drove from the airport. As they left a few weeks later, they voiced the opinion that it wasn't quite as pleasant as they had found it las time. Dirtier, ruder, louder, trashier - and that's coming from people who live near Venice Ca.!! They said it was getting like their home, only drearier, wetter and colder. I could see it hurt them to say it.

This country of ours, this sceptered (septic?) isle is going downhill, you know it, and I know it, and it is killing me. So what's to be done?

Fancy a revolution? I'm ready.
Either that, or bale out and go and live in rural France. Hmmm, very appealing, but nah, too many English scum out there, won't be long before they are demanding a Tescos replace the Boulangere because they want 24 hour opening and the Frog shuts for lunch.

No, looks like I'll stay here, whinge, bellyache and moan and take the piss. Not to be nasty, but because there's not a great deal I can do without being locked up for shooting litterbugs. ("Yes, it is only a cigarette butt, but the sentence is DEATH.....").

And yes, I do my bit to try and salvage my country from doom, I spent many hours clearing the local cut, UNPAID, so it now is navigable again, and no, not because I was on Community Service, but because I thought it was worthwhile. I pick up other peoples' junk which they just toss away, and I support my local shops (no, not that kind of LOCAL SHOP, Tubbs), only grudgingly get my petrol from the supermarket hell, nowt else. I hope you do your bit too.

Rule Britannia.

Right, steam let off, got to get back to my job at the British Tourist Board.

[Endrik]

I met a bunch of drunk geezers from Stoke last year in a local club... they were actually pretty cool

[shobet]

LOL @ Rsmacker: I have similar opinions and am tired of the nylon fake Kappa covered, braincell sharing, ASBO collecting, fuck you mista, wez me dowl munny cant, masses that seem to be everywhere. I think we need a cull.

[Snoogans]

Sorry, I forgot, we all live ....... job at the British Tourist Board.

Bloody well said mate!

It pains me seeing what a shithole our land has become, and I'm sure a lot of our overseas colleagues feel the same way about their own countries. Trouble is, it seems to be the way the "Civilised World" is going...

BTW. I have a cousin in the US. She's smart, talented and gorgeous.
(The hereditary qualities that I missed out on, obviously... )

[SEAN RAF]

Like I said, arsehole...

You can slag off and bitch and moan about your own place, but you can get fucked if you think you can get away with insulting my home town as and when you like.

This post was originally about V being excited about her American visitors, your bitterness about...well you know what, I don't really get what you are bitter about...is it the pressure of being an insignificant, racist, little arsehole?

It never takes you long to take any post down to this level, even posts as innocuous as this.

[Rsmacker]

OK, I can live with being called an arsehole, they are like opinions after all, but racist?
Excuse me?
Where exactly did you get the idea that I am a racist, Einstein?

(OED definition of racist : "Believer in innate superiority of particular race, antagoniser towards members of different race because of this belief")

Remind me again where I said MY particular race, which clearly, you don't actually know, was superior to anyone. FWIW, I happen to think my cultural heritage comes in way below some of the others we have trampled on over the ages. Right about now we have very little to be proud of, certainly are in no way superior (or inferior) to anyone else.


So I insult your home town, well, boo hoo. Obviously you are about 12, mentally if nothing else. Try to not take things like this too personally, this may happen to you now and again as you go through life. Maybe if you came from the Stockbroker belt in Surrey, I'd be stretching it a little, but Stoke on Fucking Trent? Do me a favour, by and large, it's a shithole.

This is extracted from an NHS, DH report 2006 identifying so-called "Spearhead" Local Authorities:

Deprivation is higher than average in this spearhead LA with 15 out of 20 wards falling into the most deprived nationally.

• The rate of violent crime reported is significantly higher than the national figure

• GCSE examination results are significantly lower than the national figures.
• The teenage pregnancy rate is significantly high, approximately 1 in 16 under 18s become pregnant.
• Estimates suggest that the residents lead unhealthy lifestyles. Smoking, diet and obesity levels are all significant worse than the national average. Almost a quarter of all adults are obese.
• Life expectancy figures for both males and females are declining. The inequalities gap between the national and local trend has increased over the years, with both female and male figures significantly lower than average. Burslem South is 7.4 years below the national average.
• Deaths from heart disease and stroke and cancers remain significantly higher than the national average. However, the rate for heart disease and stroke is decreasing with time.
• Death in the under 1s is significantly higher than the national rate. Approximately 1 in every 105 infants dies.
• Health is generally poor when compared with England; approximately 1 in 9 adults surveyed reported being in poor health.
• Drug misuse, dental health in the under 5s and the percentage of GP patients registered as diabetic are all significantly worse than average.

Let me translate it for you, it means, in Govt.speak :"Stoke-on-Trent is a shit-hole."
I'm sure there are nice, pleasant areas, maybe you yourself come from one, but look around............stop deluding yourself.

Maybe the OP wants to leave their American friends in the Town Centre one Saturday evening, let them meet the cheery salt-of-the-Earth residents of Stoke. I'm sure they would be fine once everyone knew they were American tourists. What do you think? Is it the kind of place you'd let your guests wander about at night marvelling at the architecture and carousing with the happy revellers, knowing they would be safe?

Having had first hand experience of the picturesque Industrial Revolution hamlet of sleepy Stoke at chucking out time, on more than one occasion when I worked and stayed there, I'd give it a miss.

Once again, just for you Sean the Brain Surgeon, I'm not saying my home town is any better, in fact it is KNOWN for being a place to get carved up for absolutely no reason. I pray for a lost squadron of Luftwaffe bombers to timewarp in and finish the job it started. As Snoogans says, "It's the way the civilised world is going", I don't profess to know where we went wrong or how to correct it. All I know is, "fings aint wot they used ter be," and I don't like it. I'm far from being alone, "insignificant" though I may be.

So, anyway sonny, extract your head from your anus, instead of getting all indignant, take my original comment with a wry grin and accept it for what it was, a dig, a jibe, a poke in the ribs....maybe even a sardonic joke <gasp>

If you don't like what I have to say, fair enough, I won't be crying myself to sleep about it and realise many people will think I'm a twunt at some point. Do I really really care? Well, if I did, I wouldn't be posting on an open public forum, I'd be sticking to some toady brown-nose group where no-one would rock the boat. If you read a little more carfeully, I rarely, if ever, post anything with any vitriol, any genuine hatred or rage.

Vive le difference

Oh, and don't fall off your bike on your paper round in South Burslem, you'll rip your shell-suit.

[442w30]

OK,
I think we can all agree to disagree, these issues are some of the same issues we all deal with, immigration, crime, and desicration of our homeland/region/city.

Now on to this!

Oh, and don't fall off your bike on your paper round in South Burslem, you'll rip your shell-suit.

http://www.iloveshellsuits.com/

Seriously the most confusing and funny thing I have read all day. So much, that I had to comb the web looking for shell-suit info. Here it is for the uninformed:

Try a shell suit Lunge:



Definition; in a lunge the feet are more than shoulder width apart on the ground. The front knee is bent over the front foot in the direction of the lunge with most weight vertically over that foot. The other leg is straight and pointed out "in line".

Don a Shellsuit and you will find that within 10 seconds of wearing it you will have an irresistible urge to perform a Lunge. Now the Lunge is something Mother Nature is very proud of. Lungeing is a form of exercise with positions to suit all levels and abilities. By performing just a few of these stretches you not only start to tone your body but the brain begins to release seratonin, a chemical that naturally makes you feel happier, a win win situation.

The Shellsuit with its highly comfortable fit and great feel enables the wearer to perform outstanding Lunges. However please read and adhere to the warnings given prior to performing an "Extreme" Lunge.