I'm getting out

[wilkinsi]

I'm looking to move end of August/September. The only thing keeping me here is the lack of guitar cases.

I've just been told the ripoff landlord has charged £150 bullshit fee to sever the contract for another tenant. On top of that, said tenant has lost his deposit (which should have been the only "charge") and told me the landlord can blacklist tenants if they don't pay the "leaving" fee. That part's gotta be bullshit. Besides, I never renewed the contract this year.

The reason I wanna leave, is because this fat bitch opposite me decided to throw a student-esque party - i.e: slamming the door as hard as possible every 5 minutes, whilst playing stupid music at high volumes.... starting at 5 fucking AM. I've sent a complaint to the landlord, emphasising the fact I work 14 hours per day every weekend. TBH, I don't think the cockroach is gonna do anything.

I am livid. My broadband bill is overdue, I've been offered a home visit by a ho (owes me a fucking favour - cheeky bitch). I may even have to live with my parents a while till I can find another place. So apart from being located close to city centre which saves on bus fares and paying more rent, I've got no other reason to live here. I need a plan, a cunning plan..

[SEAN RAF]

Your landlord's initials aren't TC are they? Just wondering, I used to live on Derby Road, not far from the Ropewalk and police station.

[shobet]

I've been offered a home visit by a ho (owes me a fucking favour - cheeky bitch).

Are you going to do some gardening, oh hold on it's not that kind of hoe...

Will you be a "axin um if em wana poppinum a cap in dem arse man?" I'm down with that street speak bro!

Nottingham is not that big, so let me paraphrase Normal Tebit "get some roller-skates ya lazy fooker!". Go and live under the Robin Hood statue, drink meths, put plastic bags on your feet and shout random words at Japanese tourists. You might just become an institution!

[wilkinsi]

The landlord's initialls are PK, but he's still a cockroach. I did live on Wollaton street (leading up to Derby Rd), that was a shithole and that landlord didn't care, but at least there was no bullshit fee this n that, nor was there a contract. I don't do drugs (though I do have a glass or two of vodka and coke every week). I was thinking of exacting some revenge - i.e: the noise culprits can listen to Kelly getting wellie from me (shag her, not boot her up the ass ). I could resort to more subtle revenge, but now I've complained, the landlord will know it's me if shit was wiped on the neighbour's door. I suspect the neighbour would also know.

[MikeStrat]

I need a plan, a cunning plan..

You could fake your own death/disappearance. That will get you out of the contract/apartment. Than any revenge you take will never come back on you. It's a foolproof plan! You asked for cunning ideas and that's all I got.

Ask Bill. He's got some great neighborly ideas for handling these situations.

[Norton]

You could fake your own death/disappearance. That will get you out of the contract/apartment. Than any revenge you take will never come back on you. It's a foolproof plan! You asked for cunning ideas and that's all I got.

Ask Bill. He's got some great neighborly ideas for handling these situations.

Can I be the fake shooter

[wilkinsi]

Or Bill could just come here and piss on them.

[Newc]

Customs won't let Bill through

[Guitardude86]

Or Bill could just come here and piss on them.

Like this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbJMzqBIa2A

[wilkinsi]

Can't view that at work, auto-block crap....

Ha! Just found another property in Bridgford. And it's less than what I pay, yet the internet there is free. I'm phoning Monday dammit.

[Guitardude86]

Go for it! Good luck, hope you get it

[dg]

Not sure what the rules are over there, but iirc when I rented here the contract favored the landlord as far as putting you on the hook for the full year if no renewal was signed or if new terms weren't negotiated. The only advice I can think of is to send the ho who owes you a favor over to his place & see if that can save you the £150. Kiss the deposit goodbye. Besides the fact that he's probably got you for early termination, he sounds like the kind of slimeball landlord who would've figured out a reason to keep it regardless.

[wilkinsi]

No contract, I ain't paying that fuckwit a frikkin penny to leave. I'll drop off my guitars and gear at my parents before I give any notice so he can't steal them.