Fool Proof Way to Beat A Speeding Ticket

[horns666]

just rap "fuck tha police.... fuck tha police" and say you are rodney's fuck buddy

They will beat you like a baby seal..

[Endrik]

and if you show 'em The Nuge's beat the baby seal club member card they'll give you a free bukkake after that

[pott]

What's that deal with the hands? I thought it was just in movies :s

You REALLY have to keep the hands visible and all that?

[horns666]

What's that deal with the hands? I thought it was just in movies :s

You REALLY have to keep the hands visible and all that?

Well, I will share this . The first thing you hear when learning tactics in the academy is that "HANDS" will hurt you, that is 100% true. That is drilled into the police recruite from day one..when approaching a suspect, look at the hands, only the hands can kill. Hands hold weapons..a mean face, or a abusive words won't harm you, but what's in those hands will..and not just the hands, the palms of the hands to be excat..to ensure they don't have a weapon and you can control a person's actions at gunpoint. If they don't comply with your exact orders and make a move..oh well.

The hands is # 1 in street survival tactics.

So you are putting the officers at ease when they are approaching your vehicle right off the bat, when the see your hands...which is exactly what you want!

[horns666]

and if you show 'em The Nuge's beat the baby seal club member card they'll give you a free bukkake after that

Now you can just taser the baby seal until it passes out. Then when it does...club it into obliveon...it's much more humane that way!

[Firebird V]

So this seal walks into a club....


ba dum bump.


Bad joke...

[fett]

I'll never forget this one. I did the old 0-35 real quick in my Opel Manta. I was going to slow down. Honest. I didn't get the chance. I was stopped by a Highway Patrolman on a residential street. And I quote: "You'd better have a damn good reason for going this fast or you are going to jail!!!" Turns out he was just coming back from a big mess on one the freeways and was in a very bad mood. I played it very straight and nice. He told me about the shitty day he just had. And calmed way down. I did get a ticket, but it could have been a lot worse. Listen to Horns. Better yet, don't speed.

[thetroy]

The Troy..do what you wanna do man..that's your biz. But your playing with fire man..just slow down man, you'll get there. That fucker that passed you, they'll get theirs..drivers like that always do..ummm unless they're cops!!

Ohio is different than most states it seems you guys are anal about speeding. I come from Michigan where the speed limit is looked at as the bare minimum speed by most people. In most cases every single car on the road is speeding, that is why I was pissed to be singled out as a kid. The only thing that accomplishes is to make people hate cops at a young age.

[Shawn Lutz]

it is never ok to say "good thing its only speeding...if you would have found that 1/4 lb of weed in the back I'd be in some trouble"

[Trypp Powell]

Driving above the speed limit is actually a safety issue for a stretch of road I travel. If you aren't doing about 80-85, you end up in a block of traffic, usually with an 18 wheeler riding your ass. Having been hit from behind by a large truck before, I don't want to go through that again.

I am 35, but whether or not I am an adult remains an open question. Funny thing is, I never got pulled over when I was in my teens and early 20's.

One thing I need to check on is what to do when you have a concealed weapons permit. No one has ever asked if I have any weapons on me or in the car, but I imagine there wouldn't be a problem as long as I inform the police where it is located and have my permit on me.

[jwoods986]

Ohio is different than most states it seems you guys are anal about speeding. I come from Michigan where the speed limit is looked at as the bare minimum speed by most people. In most cases every single car on the road is speeding, that is why I was pissed to be singled out as a kid. The only thing that accomplishes is to make people hate cops at a young age.

Why fight it, just start hating them now.

And, yes, go to court for ANY ticket.
1. There's a slim chance the officer might not show up (it did happen once for me), you plead not guilty, and you're outta there.
2. The court costs, fees, whatever other bullshit add-ons are already in the ticket, even if you pre-pay, so you may as well get your day in court. Which leads to
3. Even if you are guilty as daylight and plan to plead guilty. If you show up, plead guilty and say you're sorry, sometimes the judge will lower, or drop, the fine (you still pay court costs) or maybe lower the points. But most importantly - only about 10% of people that get tickets go to court, the rest just pre-pay and take it in the ass. If 50% of people that got tickets went to court, it would back up the courts so bad that the assholes would have to layoff with the tickets.

Then maybe they could work on real crimes instead of sitting on the side of the road with their little radar gun - and doughnuts.

[slayer32390]

Driving above the speed limit is actually a safety issue for a stretch of road I travel. If you aren't doing about 80-85, you end up in a block of traffic, usually with an 18 wheeler riding your ass. Having been hit from behind by a large truck before, I don't want to go through that again.

I am 35, but whether or not I am an adult remains an open question. Funny thing is, I never got pulled over when I was in my teens and early 20's.

One thing I need to check on is what to do when you have a concealed weapons permit. No one has ever asked if I have any weapons on me or in the car, but I imagine there wouldn't be a problem as long as I inform the police where it is located and have my permit on me.

Aren't you supposed to give them your permit with your license? I rememebr hearing that somewhere.

[Rsmacker]

My tips:
Best to use the old "You'll never take me alive copper" line, flick him the V's and floor it.

When they eventually do pull you over, wink at them, tell them you are on a way back from a meeting at the Lodge, and ask how the Chief Constable is doing.

Make sure a nice crisp £50 note is tucked inside your licence, you have been meaning to send it off for tickets to the Policeman's Benefit Ball, but hey, why don't you take it and pay it for me officer?

If they ignore all that and look like they are going to ticket you, remind them they are public servants. You pay their wages. Oh, and don't forget to tell them they should be out catching real criminals, not soft targets like motorists.

If all else fails and you get the ticket, don't forget to tell the officer you are going to write to his superiors and that he will be staking out public bogs for the rest of his career, you mark my words etc etc.

Absolutely foolproof.

Please do let us know how you get on.


When you get out of hospital/prison.

(Incidentally, best line from a motorist I have heard about was a biker after a good chase through town - "You wouldn't have caught me if I'd had put decent plugs in it")

[Rsmacker]

OK, I know a little bit about this.

*Never call the cop dude, bro, and ect..just officer or sir will do..sounds silly, but it happends often. If you say Occifer", expect a feild sobriety test!

And over here in the UK, just call them "Cunt-stubble". I'm sure they really find it amusing, deep down.

Perhaps.

[atomic charvel guy]

after drinking at the bar since 9:30 a.m., and copping a quarter bag of coke, a few friends and i went zooming down Goldenwest street out here, and i was going 80 in a 40 zone and, oh fukk it, you don't want to hear this , i do not want to corrupt anymore people than i already have.