WTF is wrong with me?

[levantin]

I left home at 17, never regretted it. My mum always said "if you want to live in a pig-sty go live somewhere else" so I did. I've been through all the landlord/neighbour shit, many many times! Hang in there bro. Get some cash together and move into something decent. That's the best advice I can give. Nottingham shouldn't be as bad as London for housing, or even Istanbul for that matter.

[KMud]

Tell your parents to get a lodger, knowing Nottingham chances are your parents will soon appreciate you a lot more!

[SouthPlatteDemon]

What's a lodger?

I'm guessing it's someone you rent one of your rooms out to?

[fett]

Do not go "Home". You have already given all the reasons why it is a bad idea. If you were destitute and needed to go back to first base that is one thing. But for your parents to lure you home and charge you rent, you don't need that. Just find other digs and forget the BS.

[mhalsey]

I think you should move back in at least for a while. But negotiate the terms of the deal in the beginning. Tell them to mind their own business .

<<< insert buzzer sound here>>> REAL bad advice, my friend. Older folks are stuck in their ways and no matter what promises they make, nothing will change.

[Bengal]

Brits Whinging... Is there anything better??? I think not...

Don't do it... Move home that is... Unless you want to... Then go for it...

[atomic charvel guy]

WTF is wrong with me? If I knew i wouldn't be like this.

[jonasaberg]

I've been living on my own for a couple of years and I really wouldn't want to go back home. I love my parents and would do anything for them but they will always see me as their child. You are not your own master when you live in your parents' house.

[Rsmacker]

What's a lodger?

It's someone who pokes your Mom properly while your Dad is at work.
Lodging is the tits!

[Rsmacker]

I refer the right honourable Gentleman, Wilkinsi, to my previous answer elsewhere.

Just go home, get fat, get your washing done, be nice to Mummy and Daddy, just sign here please, mow the lawn........oops, did you just slip in some papers to be signed by your parents there? Ah yes, thank you very much, off to the Harold Shipman Sunnyview Retirement Home for the Bewildered for them, hello to Wilkinsi's new recording/party central, formerly the family home, which is now ALL YOURS. Simple.

WTF is wrong with you? Weeeeeeell, I suspect you really need to stop cracking one off over Kays Catalogue and Razzle, and go and empty your balls all over a filthy little minx who is gagging for it (gagged is a bonus). Nottingham at weekends is full of them. Get out there and do some shagging, that is at the ahem, root, of all your problems - lack of good old fashioned dirty finger-up-her-bum shoot-all-over-her-face wipe-your-cock-on-the-curtains sex.

(Warning, going home and hearing your Dad backscuttling Mummy late at night might seriously damage your health)

[SEEGERMANY]

Try writing Dear Abby!

[Rsmacker]

Dear Abi Titmus

I love you, I love you, I love you.

And I'm sorry about that business with the polaroids, my solicitor says it won't happen again (or I'm going to jail).

I love you and respect you totally, I see you as perfection in human form, surely an angel sent by God to soothe all our angry hearts and to shame us into becoming peaceful lovers of beauty, worshipping at the altar of your stunning figure, sculpted by God's own hand from a piece of pure nice-ness.
Please marry me and become my sex toy, I really want to bugger you.

Oh, and do you know if any of your celebrity Page 3 slut friends would take on my friend Wilkinsi and help him with his 30yr old's teen angst/overactive nuts problem? I think it will take at least a Linzi Dawn Mckenzie, or maybe even a Jodie Marsh to deal with this one, he needs serious help.

Yours sincerely

R. Smacker.

PS. How about I mail you pictures of my winky, rather than send polaroids, then you won't have any more nasty surprises whilst eating your cornflakes?

[wilkinsi]

Looks like I'm moving back to my parents end-September. I am NOT happy about this. It's because they're in financial shit. My girlfriend is not gonna be amused either, now that our privacy will be out the fucking window in a month's time. I am doing this purely to help my parents out. This also means I can't afford to buy back my KE3 and have it fitted with EMG's. 3 guitars is not enough. I did think of just loaning my parents some cash, but my budget for end-August is already spent up with that DK2S, which I've waited for long enough. My only advantage is that I'll be saving £50 a month.

[VitaminG]

well, after all your concerted efforts, Rs, he's moving back in with mummy and daddy. Your efforts are still to be commended, but what can you do?

[wilkinsi]

fuck all, that's what. because only dad knows best and i know fuck all. his way every fucking time. i appreciate the laughs, support and much deserved "grow a couple" comments, but it seems humans have this moral obligation to help out their folks, even if it means having to drop themselves in the shit. In my case, I help my parents by renting the spare room, lose my deposit, then have to save up a new one when I've been pushed to my mental limit by my dad who dropped both himself and my mum in it by pissing his money up the wall with booze and fags. I did recently send him a snotty text telling him to stop leaving arsy voicemails and that I would not be moving. i don't think he understands "fuck off".