When life is supposed to be getting better..

[shreddermon]

I'm sorry for your struggles. I'd just bail on it all and get my wife and I as far away from your dad as I could. As Bill would say, Fuggims. Once a beater, always a beater, right? While I don't really believe in that, he has other problems than just a bad temper. Nothing good can come from that...

+1. If your dad makes bail, get the f**k out ASAP. In fact, no matter what, ensure that happens before he gets out. I know that's easier said than done with your $ situation, but health and safety are way more important than money. Sounds like you're both in harm's way staying there.

[GWARGHOUL]

He has no bail/bond.

He's being federally indicted.

I went and saw him Saturday, I let him know I care about him , and will do my best to make sure nobody loses too much in this deal.

He was crieing a lot, I truly believe he is sorry..
It take sone to know one.. I did some crazy shit back when I was on that stuff.

Truth is he's a mentally ill severe drug addict, NOT a "criminal", I am going to try to get him out of the department of corrections, and into the department of mental health.

I can't see that dude surviving prison.

..I'm still going to beat his ass when he gets out.

Thanks for the advice guys..keep it coming.

I'm thinking of sellign the house, paying off a car and hoping $15k down will get the wife and I a decent place far away from here.

[TexasRocks]

No one would touch my wife. No one...

Even my dad. Sorry, when it comes to chosing sides, my wife always wins. Always will win.

+1

I would probably go to jail for killing someone if they ever laid a finger on my wife.

GWARGHOUL, good luck man. I hope things turn around for you.

[scotty]

Stay strong brother. Quit asking when will it get better and start believing that it will.

[DrDoug]

Geez, that is some hard core stuff you are having to deal with. I say sell the house and find another to call your own. If I saw someone lay a hand on my wife, I would go ape shit on their ass. I was raised to respect women, and if I ever laid a hand on one in anger my mother would have nutted me.

I learned that if the respect is not returned, move on. I went through quite a few 'psychos' until I found the lady I finally married. Calm, level headed and we never fight about anything. She is my best friend and I would lay my life down for her. We have 21 years of marriage behind us now, and it has all been good. I wish it could be the same for everyone else.

I know what you are dealing with though, my older bro is a meth/coke addict, and he ran his household into the ground. His wife and him have a nightmare relationship, but it seems to suit them just fine. Their two kids grew up and their lives are just as messy too. It is really sad to see it happen to someone you love. I tried to help him but he told me to get lost. I tried to contact him afterward, but he always refused to see or talk to me. I finally gave up and we have not talked in over thirteen years now. I hear from the other sibs that he is in pretty bad shape now, and that his health is all shot to hell. He will not talk to them either, but they keep tabs on him as he is in the same town. Sad...

Good luck, and I hope you can get your dad the help he needs. Far too often we lock up people who are only a danger to themselves and those close to them, when all they really need is help dealing with their personal demons. Prison is not the answer for every social infraction today.

[GWARGHOUL]

Doug,

I couldn't agree more.

Its nice to know people can relate. Somtimes I really feel like have some horribly unusual life.

Again, thanks for the advice/strength words guys.


side note.. for the record.. I was at work when it all went down.
Had I been there, I'de probably be in jail myself.

I left work, and got home asap.

[yard dawg]

Well it sure does suck for you but......... I know you think all this bad stuff is like a curse or something. I think its your bad choices. Not trying to start a fight but I usually call it like I see it. You chose to move in with your drug selling, addicted father to save money. You chose to stay with a woman who cheats and is abusive. You chose to go into debt to get a car. You seem to be making ALOT of unwise choices.

I have learned over the years of "bad things" happening that 95% of them were caused by bad choices on my part and I use to blame the people involved. Now looking back I take full responsibility for making a bad choice. We cant control others and there behaviour but wee can control how we react to them. The grass isnt greener on the side youre on now. You need some grass that isnt violent or a cheater. Love is being all about making your partner happy. Just my thoughts which mean nothing but I felt like sharing them. Nothing personal .

[GWARGHOUL]

yard dawg,

My father didn't sell drugs. He produced for his own self medication.

But yeah, a lot of it is probably unwise choices.
I'm 22. I've been living the life (or tryign to) of an adult since I was 17.

I have very little to influence wiser choices in life.