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Rsmacker's Great Adventure

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  • Rsmacker's Great Adventure

    Well, I had a brilliant idea not so long back, after yet another day of pissing rain of the British Summer. I thought, fuck it, I'm off to the sunshine on my motorbike. Greece, to be precise.

    Weeeeell, I decided my bike wasn't going to be suitable, bought another, then shelled out on panniers etc. Then I realised my leathers would be too hot to ride around in the sun, so lashed out another £XXX on a mesh riding jacket. Then matching trousers. And a new lid. Fucking hell, my little holiday was turning into an expedition, but, sod it, I work hard, I deserve a break. Yes, I could have just got on a plane for next to nothing but I've spent too much now, so I might as well carry on and do it.

    Sooooo, I'm ready now. Sort of.
    Bike and panniers loaded, paperwork in order, "Ray Mears Guide To Being Lost In BFE (How To Cook and Eat A Stranger)" packed. Still not got a route - just going to head South, how hard can it be? Through France, Switzerland, Italy, across the water by ferry past Corfu to Greece, overland to Piraeus, ferry out to the Greek Islands, perhaps as far as Crete. Going to hit the road tomorrow night, I think.

    I am on a Grand Beaver Hunt. MILFs, GILFs, 18-80, any hole is a goal, I'm going to be as bad a bastard as I possibly can.

    So, wish me luck, and play nicely. I will, of course, put a blow(job) by blow(job) account of my travels upon my return at start of October. (Or an account of how I hauled a pannier full of condoms across Europe for absolutely no reason)

    If I post before then, it's raining and I'm bored shitless in an Internet cafe, I have been deported, or ran out of cash and had to come home!
    (And if I don't post again.....<gulp> well, let's not go there shall we!)

    GAME ON!!!!
    So I woke up,rolled over and who was lying next to me? Only Bonnie Langford!

    I nearly broke her back

  • #2
    Good luck, don't stray into the blue oyster club along the way, unless you are into that sort of thing
    When you take a shower in space, you have to press the water onto your body to clean yourself, and then you gotta vacuum it off. - Ace Frehley

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    • #3
      Greece is the place to be my man.... you have to go to Santorini.... when you leave that place (you don't want to, trust me) your dick will be in a cast
      "There is nothing more fearful than imagination without taste" - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

      "To be stupid, selfish and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost" - Gustave Flaubert

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      • #4
        I don't think there will be much left of Greece...as in, it's burning up
        "Quiet, numbskulls, I'm broadcasting!" -Moe Howard, "Micro-Phonies" (1945)

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        • #5
          good luck, man. Sounds like a blast. Hope you have a great time


          Originally posted by Rsmacker View Post
          (Or an account of how I hauled a pannier full of condoms across Europe for absolutely no reason)
          that would be the memoir I'd be publishing
          Hail yesterday

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Rsmacker View Post
            any hole is a goal,
            :ROTF:
            the guitar players look damaged - they've been outcasts all their lives

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            • #7
              Enjoy your trip bro!
              Until you get weaned off the boobie, you are going to have to do what the wife wants too. -Rsmacker

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              • #8
                Sounds like an awesome adventure. I am envious.

                Safe travels!


                - E.
                Good Lord! The rod up that man's butt must have a rod up its butt!

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                • #9
                  A Brit going abroad eh? Hope you packed your Union Jack shorts and Engerland shirt. Don't eat the filthy foreign muck, and hopefully you'll find plenty of Eastenders-themed bars to watch Sky telly in....

                  But seriously, have a great time, take care, and TAKE PICTURES!

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                  • #10
                    Isn't the whole nation of Greece burning in one big forest fire right now? That's what was happening last I heard, so I really would check on that before I headed out. If so, maybe hit spain instead or something....

                    Have fun wherever you go!
                    Ron is the MAN!!!!

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by 442w30 View Post
                      Good luck, don't stray into the blue oyster club along the way, unless you are into that sort of thing
                      Every single fucking time my Dad sees me in my bike leathers he asks if I'm off to the Blue Oyster. Bastard! I've invested in some really lightweight armoured mesh, so no leather for me down there!

                      Sorry to disappoint Snoogans, I'm a dismal Englishman abroad. I like to eat foreign muck, avoid English theme pubs and do my utmost to at least be able to say "Excuse me", "please" and "thank you" in the native tongue. Also being able to ask for a gobble and demanding to see the British Ambassador comes in handy, as well as "who won the War anyway?". I'll be soooooooo well behaved it's untrue, whenever I think of being a pratt I get a mental image of "Midnight Express" and decide my bumhole virginity is very precious to me. My real weakness is dirty women. Ah well!

                      Camera packed and ready (it's surprisingly fucking heavy too, considering it's only a Nikon D70), I had thought about rigging a cam on the bike, but not had time. Next year maybe.

                      I reckon I 'll miss the fires, but if any start along my route, it's nothing to do with me, honest! Once I get onto the islands, things will be OK anyway. I'll definitely try to get to Santorini, missed it last time, preferred to stay in Naxos (heaven!), but want to get about a bit this time. I like a bit of peace and quiet but then my bell-end starts demanding I go hunt slappers, so there has to be some nightlife!

                      I'm cacking my pants a little, it's a long way on my own, and of course my dear old Ma is trying to pull every trick in the book to dissuade me from going. Heeeyyy, I wonder if she started some of them fires? I reckon I might turn her in for the reward money, perfect, some spends for my hols!!

                      Just relaxing now, trying not to think of the mayhem that will be erupting at work whilst I am away, trying to think what vital thing I have forgotten! Not trying to think of bronzed oily beauties drinking Bacardi Breezers and falling for my smooth chat-up lines.
                      So I woke up,rolled over and who was lying next to me? Only Bonnie Langford!

                      I nearly broke her back

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                      • #12
                        Hey man have fun. I wish I was going with you.
                        Sleep!!, That's where I'm a viking!!

                        http://www.myspace.com/grindhouseadtheband

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Snoogans View Post
                          A Brit going abroad eh? Hope you packed your Union Jack shorts and Engerland shirt.
                          hey, don't forget the socks-and-sandals too!
                          Hail yesterday

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                          • #14
                            What the heck are panniers?

                            Good luck and have fun! Can't wait to hear some stories.
                            Unleash the fury.....Texas style!

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                            • #15
                              Pics will be required...
                              "Yes,..that's when they used to shove a red hot spike in your peehole until you screamed "yes, yes, godammit ..you fuggin' dicks..I'm a witch..I am witch..you cocksuckers"" horns666

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