"Out the Blue Remarks"

[fett]

At work. The best one I ever heard was years ago. This Corp Correct guy was hired over me. I taught him his job. We did phones. One day, he was done talking to someone and he hung up. And then this straight laced guy turned to me, of all people:ROTF: , and said: " That guy makes my butt leak". I just about died laughing. It has been 20 years and I will never forget it coming from the most PC/Corp guy I ever met. It's supposed to be "Out of the Blue Remarks" Sorry

[Jason1212]

I have had that happen but the comment took me way off guard. So much so that I dont think I should even repeat it. You're right though, you never can tell what is going to come out of someones mouth even a staright laced Christian in this case.

[AlexL]

My neighbor was recovering from a hernia operation , and his groin was sore to say the least.

His wife is librarian-esque (cute, BTW), a good Lutheran, and was actually an employee of their/our church. I'd never heard her swear, and she's not the type you'd tella dirty joke to.

So I'm over at their house one evening, and she's sitting on the floor, legs spread out into a "V" front of her, and she's trying to cram this sleeping bad into a sleeping bag cover. The sleeping bag is right down by her naughty-region, and she says:

"Been a while since I've had anything this big between my legs."

I nearly choked on my drink. That broke a bit of a barrier down, as I then knew that lurking in that head of hers was a dirty mind just trying to get out.

- E.

[atomic charvel guy]

what you don't want to hear- "Search Warrant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, crash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............" -lol

[Jason1212]

On that note I have knocked on a door and had "Dallas County Sheriff put your hands up" and a gun point in my face. My friend was getting served with a warrant and I had decided to visit at the wrong time.

[atomic charvel guy]

It looks like a nightmare on T.V., I got cuffed at work in the office and taken in on a traffic ticket I had not payed on that went to warrant. I didn't pay it as I never received the mail once the ex and i split up, so it kept growing and growing until it went to warrant, and then I was in jail for 10 hous, maybe 12 until the bail was paid. I was the badass in there-lol "Wha-choo in faw? " -"A traffic ticket"- All the others scampered to the otherside of the last holding tank quaking in fear-lol until they put you upstairs for bed, and then i hear my name called at 1 a.m. accompanied by a "your bail has been paid", let's go. The best words i ever heard.

[Jason1212]

Dude I hate to hijack fetts thread but I can one up you on that. I was out riding my bicycle last fall. And let's just say I reached cruising altitude before I left the house. I was riding around, getting some exercise when a cop pulls me over for going the wrong way on a one way street. He runs my dl and low an behold I have a warrant for a fucking toll violation that happen 5 years ago. Next thing I know I get cuffed, stuffed, and have to wait in the back of the car while my wife took her time coming to get my bike. Talk about a buzz kill. At the station I am riding the bench getting processed so my wife can pay the 150.00 and I can leave. The jailer asks me if they had impounded my car and I say no I was on a bike. He asks what did they do with it and I tell him my wife put it in the trunk of her car. He looks at me like WTF and I tell him that it was a bicycle. He gives a sly smile and says "you're lucky we didnt impound it, that's how we role in up in here". After two hours my wife paid my fine and I was again a free man.

[atomic charvel guy]

2 hours, that's pretty amazing, my bail was paid before i was even transfered to jail and i sat in there from about 11 a.m. until 1 a.m. "Paperwork" they sat-lol Yeah it takes 11-12 hours to do my paperwork. On a bike? That sucks the big one.