Like Genital Warts......

[Rsmacker]

......He returns : triumphant, suntanned, pods drained, skint, sick to the back teeth of eating kebabs, vowing to get back on the wagon from which he fell (before tipping it over, setting fire to it and pissing on the smouldering ashes), absolutely knackered, but happy.

Yes, I have returned from my trip through Europe showing Johnny Foreigner exactly how to behave disgracefully and live like a pig.

Oh, and the tales I have to tell..........

[Norton]

I went to Italy a month ago. I still regret it

[Snoogans]

Eagerly awaiting the sordid details, illustrated preferably....

[QuantumRider]

[VitaminG]

Eagerly awaiting the sordid details, illustrated preferably....

+1 abso-farkin-lutely! Welcome home, Rs

[shobet]

Have you got piles from sitting so long on the bike? Or has someone taken care of them for you.

I want to hear it all, where, when, how, how many, it went where! etc. all with pictures of course, preferably in full Pervertocolour(TM)!

Welcome back to the old Sceptred Isle! You didn't miss much...

[Rsmacker]

Well, I DIDN'T get arrested, (bloody close on more than one occasion though), managed to shock some Germans with my antics (yep, I know, but that's how bad I was), and yes, there are some , erm, interesting pics. Just "assessing" them as we speak.


Oh, and I am ABSOLUTELY NOT drinking alcohol again, or smoking any more of that Salvia shit, nor doing anything else.....<sniff>....I've really been a very silly boy. It was the Hun, they encouraged me, nay, forced me to indulge. And once the blue touchpaper was lit..........

[shobet]

Salvia can be some nasty shit, did we have a good ride?

[Spivonious]

I expect a full-page report Mr. Smacker.

[levantin]

Well?

[Rsmacker]

Calm down, calm down! I'm still trying to piece together what the hell I did, and when I did it. And with whom. My memory and my receipts don't quite fit together. It's kind of like a big scrambled mess.

I blame the Germans -

"Aha, you are Englander, all Englanders drink lots of beer. Have a drink"
"No, no, I'm fine with an orange juice.."
"Ach, have ein beer, smallpenis"
"No...no....I really shouldn't.."
"Englander pigdog, but you all like drinking lots. Just have a liiiiiiittle one"
"Oh, OK then, just a half pint, that's all I want. I'm having an early night"

Seven hours, untold gallons of lager/ouzo/citron later, I'm surrounded by a bar full of cheering Krauts, all baying for me to repeat my impression of an Egyptian dwarf trying to fuck a camel. My early night turns into a slink-off-to-the-beach-at-dawn where I lie like a vagrant, cooking slowly in the sun. Etc etc.

It is coming back to me......slowly........and some of it I'm praying is just a false memory!

[rjohnstone]

all baying for me to repeat my impression of an Egyptian dwarf trying to fuck a camel.

[toejam]

Who likes genital warts?

[skorb]

Calm down, calm down! I'm still trying to piece together what the hell I did, and when I did it. And with whom. My memory and my receipts don't quite fit together. It's kind of like a big scrambled mess.

I blame the Germans -

"Aha, you are Englander, all Englanders drink lots of beer. Have a drink"
"No, no, I'm fine with an orange juice.."
"Ach, have ein beer, smallpenis"
"No...no....I really shouldn't.."
"Englander pigdog, but you all like drinking lots. Just have a liiiiiiittle one"
"Oh, OK then, just a half pint, that's all I want. I'm having an early night"

Seven hours, untold gallons of lager/ouzo/citron later, I'm surrounded by a bar full of cheering Krauts, all baying for me to repeat my impression of an Egyptian dwarf trying to fuck a camel. My early night turns into a slink-off-to-the-beach-at-dawn where I lie like a vagrant, cooking slowly in the sun. Etc etc.

It is coming back to me......slowly........and some of it I'm praying is just a false memory!

BEST POST EVER!! :ROTF:

[Cygnus X1]

Dull so, far, sounds like one of my typical weekends during college. That was a different life, though.