Like Genital Warts......

[Rsmacker]

Exactly the point my good man, I'm a responsible, respectable adult these days, those years of unbridled excess are well behind me, I've emerged through the other side of that fog unscathed. But, thanks to the dastardly Boche, I have revisited with a vengeance. How could I let some kiddiwink Krauts outdrink/outsmoke/outsnort/outpuke me? No, I had to do it.

What do you think some of my high profile clients would think if they could have seen me scooting around a bar on a stolen spaz chariot trying to order beers in a Stephen fucking Hawking voice?

I did find the best thing to put on a sunburnt bell-end though - a fat German chick called...erm......I dunno. I called her Helga, that's what they are all called aren't they?

[Cygnus X1]

Now you're talking....

[Rsmacker]

One thing I am remembering now is that one of the top blokes in some Police Intelligence dept in Sweden took loads of pictures of me and was promising to send them to every point of entry (oo-er) Border Control and Police Dept as "training material".

He did teach me how to say 77 in Swedish (that's what the chef in the Muppets used to wander round saying!) and the name of some canned fish they eat which apparently stinks like a minge that died 50 yrs ago. Fucked if I can spell it in English, but I can say it.
No, I have no idea why either, but it shall be interesting if I ever go to Sweden, I'll be able to ask for 77 cans of stinking fish (assuming I get through Customs).

I think I may be responsible for his wife having a liver as hard as John Wayne's nutsac, to camoflage my alcoholic intake I was encouraging her to swill more Whiskey............

I'm pretty sure they got their plane a couple of days later, but they could still be wandering around a Greek island trying to wonder what the fuck happened.

[STLKINGV]

Holy shit, sounds like your tour was a good one!!!

Hangovers installed and serviced on a daily basis, huh???

A~

[levantin]

Is that all? We want more!

[Cygnus X1]

Poor bloke, as they say, probably can't remember the parts we want to
see posted. Try the next trip without the booze, or little enough to remember the xpoloits of the Helga Guys...

[j2379]

AWESOME
sounds like a blast....PICS

[monk]

and the name of some canned fish they eat which apparently stinks like a minge that died 50 yrs ago. Fucked if I can spell it in English, but I can say it.
No, I have no idea why either, but it shall be interesting if I ever go to Sweden, I'll be able to ask for 77 cans of stinking fish (assuming I get through Customs).

Surströmming!!!!!!

[delt]

NO, I DON'T LIKE GENITAL WARTS!!

[Norton]

Poor bloke, as they say, probably can't remember the parts we want to
see posted. Try the next trip without the booze, or little enough to remember the xpoloits of the Helga Guys...

:ROTF:

[Rsmacker]

Surströmming!!!!!!

That's the one!!!! I can say that just like a native Swede. It all kinda goes downhill from there though.

Little snippets of my holiday come back to me when I get visual triggers. People who are with me keep asking "Are you OK?" as I stop and hold my head in my hands when it all comes flooding back. When I say , "Yeah, fine, just remembered something" they want to know what, so I explain to unburden myself and purge my soul, only to find they think I'm a fucking lunatic.

They might have a point though.

I'm just amazed I'm not in hospital, prison, or buried under some Greek's taverna patio.

I promise, no more booze, no more Salvia, no more of those moorish little space cakes. Honest.