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World's Worst Christmas Songs

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  • World's Worst Christmas Songs

    So, for the last few years, I have been listening to Christmas music on the radio during the holiday season. A few stations here run Christmas music non-stop from Thanksgiving until New Years, so there's plenty available.

    Some of these songs are just dreadful however.

    Here are the ones that make me wish I was Jewish:

    - Paul McCartney: "Wonderful Christmas". Next time you are doing a mixdown, and wonder if it would be cool to put a repeat echo on a stacatto keboard line, listen to this song, and you will learn that it is not.

    - Annie Lennox: "Winter Wonderland". The overly complex synthy-percussion sounds in the background are distracting and out-of-place. Very annoying.

    - Wham!: "Last Christmas". Nothing more to say.

    - NewSong: "Christmas Shoes". As far as depressing music goes, this song makes Metallica's "Fade to Black" sound like an ABBA song. Pass the sleeping pills and vodka.

    - Bruce Springsteen: "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town". I just hate this guy. Now he's messing with my childhood memories of this song.

    So - what else? What Christmas songs make you wish it were Easter?

    I guess catching a few bars of this dreck is OK payoff for getting to listen to the classics by Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, and Nat King Cole.


    - E.
    Good Lord! The rod up that man's butt must have a rod up its butt!

  • #2
    Originally posted by AlexL View Post
    - Wham!: "Last Christmas". Nothing more to say.

    - E.
    I can't agree with this one. Absolutely one of my favorites!
    When you take a shower in space, you have to press the water onto your body to clean yourself, and then you gotta vacuum it off. - Ace Frehley

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    • #3
      Oh, I vote for any Gloria Estefan Christmas song - so uninspired...
      When you take a shower in space, you have to press the water onto your body to clean yourself, and then you gotta vacuum it off. - Ace Frehley

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      • #4
        Anything by those freaking CHIPMUNKS!
        "POOP"

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        • #5
          Originally posted by 442w30 View Post
          Oh, I vote for any Gloria Estefan Christmas song - so uninspired...

          Celine Dion's version of Lennon's Merry Christmas.... ugh.....

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          • #6
            The smurfs do a pretty mean christmas album.
            Peace, Love and Happieness and all that stuff...

            "Anyone who tries to fling crap my way better have a really good crap flinger."

            I personally do not care how it was built as long as it is a good playing/sounding instrument.

            Yes, there's a bee in the pudding.

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            • #7
              All of them.... I just hate all the christmas songs They accually make me feel sick
              If your mum stabbed ya you wouldnt get upset... You would say ' Ohhh shit mum stabbed me! I better go to a hospital'. - Chopper

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              • #8
                Originally posted by SouthernXer View Post
                Celine Dion's version of Lennon's Merry Christmas.... ugh.....
                Maybe it was Celine's - I vote them all off Xmas Island.
                When you take a shower in space, you have to press the water onto your body to clean yourself, and then you gotta vacuum it off. - Ace Frehley

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by AlexL View Post
                  - Wham!: "Last Christmas". Nothing more to say.

                  - NewSong: "Christmas Shoes". As far as depressing music goes, this song makes Metallica's "Fade to Black" sound like an ABBA song. Pass the sleeping pills and vodka.
                  Oh god I hate Last Christmas. I wish the guy singing it would jump out of the speakers so I could promptly shoot him. And yes, Christmas Shoes was horribly depressing. Meanwhile, whoever said any songs with Chipmunks, I agree. "Santa Baby" makes me want to strangle small animals. And finally any song bastardized with annoying kids singing in it.

                  Marry Freakin' Christmas

                  PS: No I'm not a scrooge, I love xmas music, but when it comes to the Christmas songs I hate, I hate them with a passion. And really I don't like any of these new poppy/psuedo depressing Christmas songs save a couple, but they aren't hate worthy.

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                  • #10
                    I utterly hate all of them, especially that prayer one by Cliff "Waterwalker" Richard. That makes me do bad things.
                    One exception, the Kirsty MacColl and The Pogues Fairytale Of New York. That one's quite nice.

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                    • #11
                      I love the Red Peters twisted xmas series
                      Don't worry - I'll smack her if it comes to that. You do not sell guitars to buy shoes. You skimp on food to buy shoes! ~Mrs Tekky 06-03-08~

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                      • #12
                        In addition to what's been said:

                        Elvis' "Blue Christmas". It annoys me greatly.

                        And I think it's Mariah Carey's version of "In Excelsis Deo" (Gloria) - whoever it is, she's flat as a pancake on the descending part. With all the noise in WalMart, that one part cuts through clearly and it makes me want to throw bowling balls at small children.

                        Most "R&B-ified" classics. They're trying to funk it up but maintain that Church-ish tone, and it comes out sounding like they're trying too hard.
                        I want to depart this world the same way I arrived; screaming and covered in someone else's blood

                        The most human thing we can do is comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

                        My Blog: http://newcenstein.com

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                        • #13
                          Newc, stop shopping at Walmart.
                          I want REAL change. I want dead bodies littering the capitol.

                          - Newc

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                          • #14
                            Podunk town - all we have is WalMart

                            Well, we have a "mall" - it's got 3 department stores, a shoe store, a popcorn stand, and whatever they're passing off as Radio Shack these days

                            That's where they play Elvis, so I don't go there
                            I want to depart this world the same way I arrived; screaming and covered in someone else's blood

                            The most human thing we can do is comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

                            My Blog: http://newcenstein.com

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                            • #15
                              I like the McCartney one

                              +1 for any of the versions of "Last Christmas" though; that song makes me want to tear my ears off.

                              My parents have an old LP of Nat King Cole singing Christmas tunes and it is fantastic! I have to find a copy of that for our house.
                              Scott

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