....I thought I'd try to cut one of my hands off.
Let me tell you a little story...
Was pottering about the garden today when I unwittingly unearthed a large, thick piece of window glass that was apparently left behind when our house was built.
I was using my hands (as you do) to drag back all the bark in my front garden bed so that weedmat could be laid down before covering over with bark again. Should save a couple hundred man hours a year in pulling fucking weeds out of the beds by stifling the weeds whilst still allowing the soil to breath and water to pass through.
So it was while clearing the bark back to bare dirt that I notice a hard scrape across my right palm. "Bugger," I thought, "I've just scratched the crap out of my hand on a bit of bark". When I went to inspect the damaged, I noticed my hand was smiling back at me. The end result was due to my using the aforementioned piece of glass poking firmly out of the ground (and previously hidden by tanbark) in a single sawing motion across the meatiest part of my right hand.
Quickly rounded the kids up, closed the house up, run the wound under water & wrapped my hand for the drive to the hospital. Fortunately, my years of driving with right elbow perched coolly on window sill (right hand drive cars over here) had left me well equipped to drive & park one handed.
Hospital staff there were suitably impressed - although Saturday morning lacerations are apparently pretty commonplace, I'd done a particularly tidy job with my gardening accident. Three hours in the waiting room watching the Australia v India cricket match, and I had a guy jabbing needles into my open palm to put it to sleep, and then scrubbing fiercely to remove all the garden detritus that had accumulated there. Additionally, I was well overdue a tetanus shot ("left shoulder, thanks, just had some ink done on my right"), so now I'm sad & sorry on both sides.
6 stitches later and it's taken me all night to get up the courage to see if guitar play will be at all on the cards for the next week or so. Took my first ginger stabs at a couple of licks. Looks like I can, but forget about palm muting. The slice wraps around my the fleshy side of my hand and across the palm. I'm going to have to learn to play Marty Friedman-style!
For those in the cheap seats, I'll see if I can get a decent pic sometime tomorrow. The guy did an ace job closing me up, so it may not look too impressive, but I wasn't really in the frame of mind to take photos when it was at it's most spectacular
Let me tell you a little story...
Was pottering about the garden today when I unwittingly unearthed a large, thick piece of window glass that was apparently left behind when our house was built.
I was using my hands (as you do) to drag back all the bark in my front garden bed so that weedmat could be laid down before covering over with bark again. Should save a couple hundred man hours a year in pulling fucking weeds out of the beds by stifling the weeds whilst still allowing the soil to breath and water to pass through.
So it was while clearing the bark back to bare dirt that I notice a hard scrape across my right palm. "Bugger," I thought, "I've just scratched the crap out of my hand on a bit of bark". When I went to inspect the damaged, I noticed my hand was smiling back at me. The end result was due to my using the aforementioned piece of glass poking firmly out of the ground (and previously hidden by tanbark) in a single sawing motion across the meatiest part of my right hand.
Quickly rounded the kids up, closed the house up, run the wound under water & wrapped my hand for the drive to the hospital. Fortunately, my years of driving with right elbow perched coolly on window sill (right hand drive cars over here) had left me well equipped to drive & park one handed.
Hospital staff there were suitably impressed - although Saturday morning lacerations are apparently pretty commonplace, I'd done a particularly tidy job with my gardening accident. Three hours in the waiting room watching the Australia v India cricket match, and I had a guy jabbing needles into my open palm to put it to sleep, and then scrubbing fiercely to remove all the garden detritus that had accumulated there. Additionally, I was well overdue a tetanus shot ("left shoulder, thanks, just had some ink done on my right"), so now I'm sad & sorry on both sides.
6 stitches later and it's taken me all night to get up the courage to see if guitar play will be at all on the cards for the next week or so. Took my first ginger stabs at a couple of licks. Looks like I can, but forget about palm muting. The slice wraps around my the fleshy side of my hand and across the palm. I'm going to have to learn to play Marty Friedman-style!
For those in the cheap seats, I'll see if I can get a decent pic sometime tomorrow. The guy did an ace job closing me up, so it may not look too impressive, but I wasn't really in the frame of mind to take photos when it was at it's most spectacular
Comment