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  • #31
    @ Rsmacker !!!

    I'm a fuggin' nutjob with the whammy bar as I am in life!!!

    My advice is to break-in a fresh set of strings before every gig..really give it a work over. Divebombs, really hard vibrato and bends..everything you do.

    It's just like streching before doing cals and shit..

    I'm tellin' ya, a broken-in set of Slinkys don't fuggin' break.!!!

    I break everything else..
    "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
    Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

    "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

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    • #32
      Originally posted by Rsmacker View Post
      The Jesus Army had an office in town here, and would try to "save" people at closing time (ie. whisk them off to be brainwashed), but they met their match when they saw my "Monkeys of Longleat" impression.
      That involves stripping bollock naked, then clambering all over their Transit van making monkey noises and dragging my hairy arse down their windscreen while my mates try to bash the wing mirrors off. They would barricade themselves inside and sing and pray (strangely, for a policeman to pass by and nick us, not for world peace) and try not to look at me trying to leave a skid mark on their bonnet. I swear I would leave the boozer touching cloth, but by the time I was poised to free a chocolate hostage on their motor, I would clam up. It's immensely hard to poo with an audience, even though they are all covering their eyes and trying to avoid looking at you.

      We all offered to join, promised we'd give up drinking and stop bumming each other (they were convinced we were Sodomites for some reason. Might have been Tommy pulling Nick's pants down and pretending to bugger him. Loudly.), but they just weren't interested. Miserable fuckers. They didn't even help me up when I got hit by a tree that jumped out in front of me as I staggered home completely pissed.

      They abandoned late night "rescue missions" shortly afterwards.

      One day I gave one of them a lift on the motorway. He was wearing a dress and thick black eye make-up and was escaping. Two days later he was on "Kilroy" talking about brainwashing and how the Jesus Army fucked him up. I like to think it was me and my friends that did him in really, we were fucking looney-tunes.

      Ah, happy days, can't do that now, too many CCTV cameras about - instant arrest.
      you sir are my hero
      "There is nothing more fearful than imagination without taste" - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

      "To be stupid, selfish and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost" - Gustave Flaubert

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Rsmacker View Post
        The Jesus Army had an office in town here, and would try to "save" people at closing time (ie. whisk them off to be brainwashed), but they met their match when they saw my "Monkeys of Longleat" impression.
        That involves stripping bollock naked, then clambering all over their Transit van making monkey noises and dragging my hairy arse down their windscreen while my mates try to bash the wing mirrors off. They would barricade themselves inside and sing and pray (strangely, for a policeman to pass by and nick us, not for world peace) and try not to look at me trying to leave a skid mark on their bonnet. I swear I would leave the boozer touching cloth, but by the time I was poised to free a chocolate hostage on their motor, I would clam up. It's immensely hard to poo with an audience, even though they are all covering their eyes and trying to avoid looking at you.

        We all offered to join, promised we'd give up drinking and stop bumming each other (they were convinced we were Sodomites for some reason. Might have been Tommy pulling Nick's pants down and pretending to bugger him. Loudly.), but they just weren't interested. Miserable fuckers. They didn't even help me up when I got hit by a tree that jumped out in front of me as I staggered home completely pissed.

        They abandoned late night "rescue missions" shortly afterwards.

        One day I gave one of them a lift on the motorway. He was wearing a dress and thick black eye make-up and was escaping. Two days later he was on "Kilroy" talking about brainwashing and how the Jesus Army fucked him up. I like to think it was me and my friends that did him in really, we were fucking looney-tunes.

        Ah, happy days, can't do that now, too many CCTV cameras about - instant arrest.


        HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Fuckin AAAAAA dude!!! I salute you!!!!

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        • #34
          Hey guys, just wanted to apologize on behalf of the semi-normal christian population for the nut jobs you've had to experience. There's always whackos in everything walk of life unfortunately.
          What has 9 arms and 10 legs? Def Leppard

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          • #35
            Originally posted by whackmaster View Post
            Hey guys, just wanted to apologize on behalf of the semi-normal christian population for the nut jobs you've had to experience. There's always whackos in everything walk of life unfortunately.
            What's really funny about this statement is that the "semi-normal christian" is apologizing to the "nut job" who tried to take a dump on the hood of a car :ROTF:

            Whatever floats your boat, I say.

            My wife who is an atheist thinks that I'm a superstitious freak for wearing an amulet from my local Shinto shrine to ward off evil
            Until you get weaned off the boobie, you are going to have to do what the wife wants too. -Rsmacker

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            • #36
              Originally posted by QuantumRider View Post
              What's really funny about this statement is that the "semi-normal christian" is apologizing to the "nut job" who tried to take a dump on the hood of a car :ROTF:
              Ah, there's always one smart alec, one voice of reason. I thought I had got away with it too. :ROTF:

              Anyway, it was a van, not a mere car, nipping one off on cars is childs play!
              So I woke up,rolled over and who was lying next to me? Only Bonnie Langford!

              I nearly broke her back

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