Something For The Newer Guys

[dg]

I was looking through some gear reviews on Harmony Central and remembered this classic review of the Rhoads Polka Dot V. Sorry, the Randy Rhoads SIGNATURE Polka Dot V. It's been posted here before, but it was a long time ago & it's a fucking riot, so I thought it was worth a repost for some of the newer guys. It's the first one at the top, by Rip Glitter:

http://reviews.harmony-central.com/reviews/Guitar/product/Jackson/Rhoads+Custom+Shop+Polka+Dot+V/10/1

[MetalMedal II]

Man, that dude's got issues. He's either really making fun or he rides the short bus. My favorite quote under reliability:

Reliability/Durability : 10
Have you ever grabbed your axe by the neck and clocked some punk in the teeth with it because he said that "Powerslave" is a better album than "Seventh Son"? I have, and let me tell you, my SIGNATURE Jackson V split his face without picking up a scratch.

[Cygnus X1]

OMG...:ROTF:

Either Atomic Charvel Guy (Tommy) wrote this, or Horns666 (Bill Z Bub)....
I'm only in the first paragraph and I'm dying...

This is some funny shit!

[VitaminG]

make sure you search for some of his other reviews. The Randy Rhoads SIGNATURE Polka Dot V is the crowning achievement, but his other stuff is very funny too

[Axewielder]

"I mean, if he's not ready to face the lion, then why'd he walk in the cage?" That's some funny shit.

[skorb]

I was the one who named him Randy (after you-know-who), in the hopes that he might end up being a brutal demon of speed metal and we could rock out like true brothers of doom, but instead he's just a snotty little punk who likes to get his grubby little hands on my shit.

:ROTF:

[sonicsamurai]

I think powerslave is better than seventh son, does that mean he's gonna come kick my vietnamese slut pussy ass and stick his police in me with his SIGNATURE, damn right it's SIGNTAURE, randy rhoads V?? :ROTF:

man that was too funny

[Norton]

SIGNATURE Jackson V :ROTF:

[OnlineStageGear]

Powerslave is 10 times better than Seventh Sun.

[Rich#6]

Powerslave is 10 times better than Seventh Sun.

+1. I think I have listened to SS once or twice and I have listened to PS at least a hundred times.

[dg]

Here's Rip's 5150 review (near the bottom):

http://reviews.harmony-central.com/reviews/Guitar+Amp/product/Peavey/5150/10/20

"Let me put it this way: the 5150 will treat you better than any girlfriend, because it screams louder, it's easier to pick up, and it shuts up when you take your plug out."


DOD Thashmaster:

http://reviews.harmony-central.com/reviews/Effects/product/DOD/FX59+ThrashMaster/10/2

"It never stops pumping out the fist-pounding metal, even if you kick it like some pussy BUSH fan who showed up at the last Dark Legion show because he thought it was a D&D tournament."

:ROTF:

[Spivonious]

I climbed up into my attic and stood in the window, looking over my neighborhood and wondering if they had any idea that there was about to be a full-frontal metal assault rolling straight through their homes.

Sometimes I have to stop and slam my head into the wall because I can't believe how fucking amazing my axe sounds with the Thrash Master. After I regain consciousness, I can hear this heavy grinding noise through my amp, and i realize that even when I was knocked out, the Thrash Master KEPT ON ROCKING WITHOUT ME.

I knew a guy in college that very well could have written this review. He was a riot!

[Jack The Riffer]

I love that review...it's a classic!!!