Vote for me. I am much more qualified than any of these fucktards.
- I can add and subtract numbers quite well. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of fundamental math skills with these current candidates.
- I could care less who screws who so long as children aren't involved.
- I could care less what superstitions people have and am perfectly happy to let them all go about worshipping their icons, singing songs, and jamming up the lines at IHOP on Sunday.
- I don't care if you are black, white, purple, or green. Work if you are capable, we've got your back if you don't.
- Fuck making deals with criminals of any kind. You deal drugs to kids, you go to prison. I don't care if you can help me bust your boss. I'll have Jack Bauer take him out.
- As for you bastards that are here illegally, we have a way to get here legally. You have one chance to do that. Get the fuck out and get in line. If you don't, we'll round you up from time to time. We'll let you bleed to death right in front of hospitals. In fact, the only free ride you'll get is to the border.
- Taxes? No problem. I'll cut all tax incentives for any company that out sources anything that has been traditionally done here in the US. That'll float us for a few years until I figure out a real plan.
- The war in Iraq. We'll slowly retreat into Saudi Arabia where we hunt down and slaughter everyone that touched any money that got anywhere near Osama and any other terrorist group. Then we just start blowing up the mountains in Afghanistan until they are quarries or Osama is captured.
- Kill all Paparazzi. Leave Britney alone.
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