Dog and Cat Diaries

[Nuclear Vampire]

I thought this was funny...


The Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement
was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how
to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe.
For now

[dd3keegs]

Funny!...I hate cats!

[Davey]

so freakin true!

[StukaJU87]

:ROTF: That is great. Oh, and I love my cat AND my dog.

[Super_shredder]

blody awesome !!

[guitarsjb]

LOL..very true.

[Cygnus X1]

:ROTF: That is great. Oh, and I love my cat AND my dog.

+1

[Emthrax]

this is hilarious, particularly the cat part.
my lady cat is a major bitch and hates us all, she is planning our deaths, i know it.

[Jason1212]

If the killing of small animals is a show of power my cats are megalomaniacs. Last night one of killed a small garden snake which was odd given the time of year. We have had to throw out dead and almost dead birds, snakes, lizards, mice, rats and that doesnt include the dead squirrels and possums that we caught them trying to bring into the house. Those two bitches are vicious.

[Norton]

The cat sounds a lot like Stewie of Family Guy.

[Spivonious]

That pretty much nails dogs vs cats and also, strangely enough, men vs women.

[maj.kalishnakov]

that was awsome,

[dd3keegs]

The cat sounds a lot like Stewie of Family Guy.

Yes...that is what I was thinking!