Woo I'm 18!

[wilkinsi]

I could talk about the women where I work but the nice lookers are married and the rest are ugly pie shops.

I did get an official complaint about me a couple weeks back for making an advance on one of these nice looking girls in the lift. I told her boss who called me away was talking shit, then stormed off. Thanks to that spineless cow, my boss thinks I'm a potential rapist. Stupid managers. Happy now?

[Rsmacker]

I could talk about the women where I work but the nice lookers are married and the rest are ugly pie shops.

So what? That has never stopped me for a heartbeat. In fact I like humping married women (especially if their hubby is watching, taking notes on how to deal out a proper fucking), they tend not to give you loads of earache about trivial nonsense. They want fucking, and they get it. Chubby ones are the best!!

I did get an official complaint about me a couple weeks back for making an advance on one of these nice looking girls in the lift. I told her boss who called me away was talking shit, then stormed off.

Well, call me old fashioned, but "advancing" on birds in the lift might be a teensy weensy bit forward. Did you have your winkie out? Were you drooling, leering and staring at her jugs like Benny Hill? Did you actually say "Phwoooooooar!!"?

Here's a few tips: Try catching her eye, smiling, then maybe ask if she fancies going for a drink after work, or perhaps buy her a sandwich in the cafe at lunchtime. Buy her some flowers, tell her how nice she looks, how her haircut suits her.
Steaming in at ramming speed with your purple helmet comes a bit further down the line (about 7 Bacardi Breezers on average)

Soooooo, anyway, does this mean you told your supervisor that you are actually a Poo Pirate, so couldn't have been sexually harassing any women in the lift? Hmmm, now there's a dilemma eh? Tell them about your cottaging, rimming and felching proclivities and possibly get an apology (and some compo for the "stress" you have suffered. Hmm, yeah, think of the new USA you could buy...!), or deny it and be branded a filthy lech.

The worst of it is, we know which end of the pavilion you bowl from, don't we Ducky?

[wilkinsi]

I was only trying to give her a friendly cuddle. After that, I stopped being nice to every employee.

I got back with Jodie (the one I dumped so I could buy that WR1) 2 weeks ago.

[Rsmacker]

Not Jodie The Pig??? You sly old fox! Did you agree terms? (No false moustaches)

"Trying to give her a friendly cuddle" . Hmmmm, guilty as charged M'lud. 5 years, segregation wing, psychotherapy, sex offender register for life. (The plus side is you will probably manage to get gang-bummed in the showers if you ask nicely).

Many women are quite disturbed by a man giving them a "friendly cuddle", especially when he is sporting a woody. No, I don't know either, they don't understand it's because we like them.

I bet you didn't stop being nice to that nice fella you are always talking about though did you? No, we know.
Did you pop something through his glory hole to set him up for the day?

Bless you, one day your confusion may clear. Until then, you are not the only one in the village, really.

[Rsmacker]

Where has he gone? I guess I'll just toss this line back in the water and wait.............

[thunderhead]

you are not the only one in the village, really.

:ROTF:

[wilkinsi]

I don't live in a village and I'm not gay either. So stick your heads back up each others' asses. Oh wait, I bet you do that already, Fett-style!

[Spivonious]

:ROTF:

"But I'm a lady!"

[shobet]

:ROTF:

I used to live 4 miles away from Llanddewi Brefi, and yes it's a real place. The signposts used to go missing regularly and eventually appear on eBay.

Go on wilkinsy, you know you want some hot bum action, innit boyo!

[wilkinsi]

Oh dear, I'm surrounded by hounding gay chav's. I should move back to Krautland.

[shobet]

I'll tell your gay coworkers you think they're chavs. If you've going back to ze fazerland can you take fett with you?

[wilkinsi]

No. I already live with one old fart (my dad). And I regularly tell other staff they're a bunch of chav's. . If you happen to be in Nottingham Shobet, go into Sound Control. They've only got one Jackson left. It's a KVX10. Wait til those emos come in, then start fwopping it and see if they still pick it up afterwards, or cry (or pick it up then cry or vice versa). Remember to smile at the CCTV.

[shobet]

I'd rather go to Rock City and get blown by a couple of female nurses out on the town for the night.

[wilkinsi]

With bleeting moustaches no doubt

[shobet]

You're obsessed with 'tashes, like a big bear of a man do we.

Shall we all gather around and sing YMCA at you?